Is the german guy still interested with me after first date?

[Anonymous]

I had a nice casual dinner date with this German guy that I found from Bumble. He has only been here in USA for 6 months because of work. We've been texting for a week and he only replies once a day but with multiple messages containing different topics. Mostly are topic is about traveling and things to do around here.

We talked for 2 hours about his experiences in USA and travels. What I do for work and his. He's been showing me pictures of his adventures. But, we didn't asked questions about relationships.

He gave me a hug when we first met and another good bye hug. He was tall so I can't even see if he was even attempting to kiss me good bye, all I know is he went to the restroom and when he came back I smell a mint.

I texted and thanked him that I got home and thet it was nice to meet him. And he just replied: "Same here." I also told him to let me know if he's going for skydiving and I wanna go to watch sometimes. He just liked my message and no messages for today so far.

I know there's a lot of stereotypes regarding dating a german. I am wondering if is he still interested and am I expecting to hear from him in the future?

[SueShe]

You just talked about the most important stereotype about German people. That stereotype is that they tend to be cold and distant. His reaction to your attempts to get closer was simply a confirmation of what you had to expect.

He did behave in a way that would lead me to believe that he is not really interested in deepening that relationship. If he is in the US for work, then he will eventually leave to go back to his home country where he has perhaps a girlfriend waiting.

I would not place my hopes too high that he may develop feelings for you. Those crushes like yours are usually one-sided.

You may expect to hear from him but more on a distant and casual friends only way.

[Asker]

That makes sense. I am just hoping that I can meet him one more time. I am not sure how I felt about him too. I feel like I got shy and nervous that I forgot to ask him important questions. I am not even sure if he will ever reach out again. But, should I send 1 more message like at the end of this week to tell him some things I liked about him and see if he is still interested or not anymore so I can move on?

[ChicoFromThe305]

He's interested about something but ask yourself has he had any curiosity on getting to know you or hear things about you, cause what you've mentioned is the y'all talk a lot about him, so I'm asking, is it equal? Does he show interests in getting to know you as well or is it one sided cause I do believe that's something to consider when trying to read him about Interest.

[Asker]

He did ask questions about me too. I just happened to be more like a listener. I am quite introverted and can get shy as well. And maybe language barrier with him a little bit. But we had all the smiles and laughters.

[ChicoFromThe305]

That's good to hear, then it all sounds like it's shifting in a good direction 👏🏼

[Asker]

But the thing is would I hear from him again? Or later this week should I just initiate texting and maybe be more direct if he is interested with me or not?

[ChicoFromThe305]

Neither of those things should harm the connection, unless he doesn't like straight forward, but you can give him a bit to see if he replies back and if he doesn't then you can try initiating, you putting in some effort should be seen more as a positive thing than anything anyways.

[Asker]

Got it. Thank you! I know Germans tend to be honest and direct. I am just confused if it applies to him too since he responded and liked the message. I am interested of seeing him again but thank you for giving me hope.

[ChicoFromThe305]

Someone's gotta give people in this dump some hope lol

Either ways if being straight forward bothers him then you did your part by keeping things mature and simple, it shouldn't go down that path tho, best of luck

[Asker]

Lol, thank you! I'll give an update for sure.

[ChicoFromThe305]

💯💯

[Levin]

I feel like, for an American female, dating a German is a poor substitute for dating a Brit. But you have to make do with what is in front of you, I suppose.

And yes, the lack of conversation would be worrisome for me, too.

[Asker]

Would you think that sending a follow up message at the end of this week confirming if he still interested or not is a great idea?

[Levin]

I would expect him to be more demonstrative in general. I don't think it's just to do with him being German. What is the implication, is he too cool and busy to drop you some more messages? Has his behaviour changed after the date. Or has he always not been much of a talker? How was the conversation during the date?

I think you have to do what feels right. But effort should be in equal measure. I think if I received those kind of replies, I would assume that person is not interested and leave them to it.

[Asker]

He always not been much of a talker. I can say he prioritizes work and personal time/hobbies. He only replies once a day before we met but all meaningful messages. During the date, I would say we were comfortable with each other. He showed me some pictures from his phone and we're quite physically close with each other

[Asker]

But after the date, I sent him a thank you message when I got home. He just said, "same here." Then I sent a follow up message of if he's going for skydiving to let me know bec I wanna watch. He just liked it. So Im confused

[Levin]

Sounds confusing. It's all about effort. So I guess all will become clear.

[Asker]

I think Im just near to giving up and just let it go. If he texts, that's on him. I'm not going to initiate or chase him.

[Levin]

Well, I'm sorry. But yeah, put your measure of effort in, but if someone doesn't reciprocate, then don't waste your time. Believe me, been there, done that.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. It's only been 2 days but I will not keep my hopes high anymore and maybe move on. I just wanna know him more.

[Levin]

Just remember you are valuable, too.

[Avicenna]

You might want to take the initiative and plan the bect date and ask him out on it.

[Avicenna]

* next

[Asker]

I think that makes more sense. And I'll base see his response. I should think of something fun to do in my area since he's adventurous

[Asker]

Actually it made me realize too that maybe we just have different personalities. He's not interested with me and he's looking for maybe more outgoing woman, and I am more like introverted and more like a homebody.

[Avicenna]

You might be right

[Anonymous]

Yes, he is.

[Asker]

You think so? 🥹

[Opinion Owner]

I know so.