After 4-5 months of dating but not becoming official, should you end things by message or in person?

[Anonymous]

You can end things by message, you never became official

You should do it in person after 4-5 months of dating

[incorrected]

What does "becoming official" mean exactly? Is there an office involved? A protocol of social media declaration? What's actually going on between you two and what were you expecting? Have you talked to her about taking things to whatever this next level is? I'm not even sure it should be an automatic breakup situation without more information.

[Asker]

Well if you’re just going on dates, you’re not in a relationship?

[Zack-Bann]

Same thing happened to me last year.
I chickened out and tried ending it by message but she wouldn’t have it and insisted on talking face to face.


There was a bit of crying followed by her jumping me and us hooking up for one last time.
(i think she expected to change my mind by showing me how good the sex was, and it was exceptional but not enough to build a relationship that had so many other flaws)

[Caroline91]

Do you want it to become official? Or is it just not going to work out for whatever reason and you don't want to keep dating her? If you want other not see her anymore, I think a brief, in-person talk where you at least offer a reason in the kindest way possible. On the other hand, if you want it to be official... just ask.

[Asker]

Well I feel she’s pulling away a bit. So I want to reject her before she rejects me.

[Caroline91]

Wow... That's counterproductive. But honest. There could be a lot to reasons she seems more distant. Worries or extra commitments with work, family, health. Or she may just need a little personal space that has nothing to do with you. But if you really need to reject someone preemptively, are you sure you're actually ready for a big-boy relationship? Sounds like you're not willing to take risks. But nothing risked... nothing gained. Good luck to you.

[Anonymous]

In person is definitely the best way to go about it but if you’ve only been on a couple of dates together then a personal phone call or a heartfelt text would do.

[Asker]

And if you’ve been on regular dates over 4-5 months?

[Opinion Owner]

Then definitely do it in person

[Opinion Owner]

Or at least a phone call

[NicholasRedone]

😈 hell I can't even stand women who eye flirt me and then later ghost their eyes lol 👻👻 some people are duh such a tease, sigh 😔😞

[WhitneySnow]

It’s always better to do it in person if you can. 4-5 months is an established relationship even if you were never official.

[RSav4013]

I think in person is always the right thing to do regardless of the length of time.

[Asker]

Even if you’ve only been on 1 or 2 dates?

[RSav4013]

Yeah

[PeachyPie93]

I'd call them and say "Do one, I don't like you anymore" lol

[Nikki1989]

Nah. Anyone who uses controlling terms like “official” are red flags anyway.

[dustybiker2]

Why bother saying anything at all?

What is the value of respect and human decency?

[nawtee_me]

So nothing is official, right? Just start dating other people while seeing her too since nothing is official. You all are just dating for fun anyway…..

[GlowUpGirly5]

Depends have you met her? How did you meet her? What have you don't to deserve being official? What do you do for a living? How much do you make?

[SleepingHazard]

If you've actually spent time together: in person. If you mostly talk online, just text.

[Avicenna]

In person, if possible

[avery58]

Always in person

[HungTexan]

In person is always better.

[Drumlin2001]

Have you tried talking about it?

[Anonymous]

In person. Via text is the weak way out.

[Asker]

Even if we’re not in a relationship and have just been going on dates for 5 months?

[Opinion Owner]

Dude. That's still a long time in a girls mind. Man up

[Asker]

What if she’s pulling away anyway? Can I just let it fade?

[LiamJHayden]

Always in person if possible.

[noohair]

always in person...

[aquamarine321]

In person

[Crazzyyworld]

By Ghosting