Was I too bold in my question to this man?

[MoonFace2]

I have Asperger’s and I recently got asked out by a man with Asperger’s. Noticing he was eccentric and a straight speaker, I thought I should find out if he was asexual, before agreeing to date him. So I just asked him straight out.

I don’t want to rush into anything or pressure anyone else either, but I’ve been approached by romantic asexuals (with Asperger’s); and I wouldn’t see it going anywhere with one of those, as I’m not. So I thought it would save both of us from wasting our time.

This man said I made him smile by asking that question (in other words, I think I amused him). I wonder if it was a mistake to ask such a bold question, so early into our acquaintance? He’s not asexual either and supposedly still wants to go on a date, but just to take things slowly.

[Summeroflove]

I mean it’s best to just ask things and not waste time with people who aren’t compatible. Not only wasting your own time but out of respect for them as well so they can find someone who better suits them.

[MikeRJ]

It seems a bit up front. Maybe you should go on a few dates with him and find out.

[MoonFace2]

How can I recover from this faux pas?

[MikeRJ]

Is he still interested in dating you?

[MoonFace2]

He said he can’t wait to go out with me, half an hour after I asked him that.

[MoonFace2]

We talked about having a picnic.

[MikeRJ]

It sounds like he wasn't too upset by your question. I would forget it and concentrate on having a good time on your date and getting to know him better.

[MoonFace2]

Okay then. Thanks 😊

[MikeRJ]

Good luck!

[DishLady]

He either smiled because he's had to ask the same thing in the past or because he appreciates that YOU are not asexual and are probably now thinking along the same lines as him.

Try not to worry too much. Continue being direct. He seems to like it. Be yourself. It's the only way you'll be sure to attract the guy who deserves you.

[Cormac995]

I think the reason he liked the question is it shows that when you guys do take that step he probably thinks you'll have good sexual chemistry because you made it clear that in a relationship sex is something that's an important detail to you and most guys as it turns out like sex. Even awkward ones not everyone with Aspergers is A-sexual I knew one who was bisexual, and he had such a high sex drive he found it frustrating and distracting.

[AnonAndrew]

Asking a question like that so boldly early on has a high risk of getting a negative result.

But in this case it seems your wager paid off, and he though it was funny, so all's well that ends well. :)

[Screenwriter]

Nothing wrong with putting your cards on the table right off. And since he was amused and still wants to date you, it appears no harm, no foul. Have fun getting to know each other.

[bowenw]

I think it was a fair question given the circumstances and it saves both of you the grief of it being unearthed at a later date.

[WhitneySnow]

I think you did the right thing!