What do you do when you really love somebody but they don’t do the things you need in the relationship even after we’ve talked about it?

[Anonymous]

It’s hard because I don’t think I’ve ever loved somebody as much and early on she did put in much more effort but now I feel not cared for and I just don’t know what to do

[Finchie40]

If nothing changes after you expressed your feelings of concert , then it’s time for you to end it with her and move on. Life is too short to be strung along by someone that isn’t giving the same to you as you are giving to them especially after you expressed your concerns to them. Just be open and honest with her and tell her you are not happy in this relationship anymore , tell her you feel everything is one sided and that you want to be with someone that isn’t one sided

[Anonymous]

Sounds like have to make the decision you don't want to make. You've made it clear what you need out of the relationship and only you know what she means to you vs. it.

The only thing that concerns me is you said she used to make much more effort in the beginning. It's normal for there to be SOME fall off. Are you sure you not expecting too much? If the answer is no. It's possible she's pulling away. You might have to ask her if she wants to be in the relationship anymore.

[DishLady]

Actions (not words) are the true indication of love. A person can SAY a million times that they agree to certain things, but if they procrastinate, become passive aggressive or simply ignore their end of the bargain then it’s time to consider whether they’re relationship material. Additionally, if your affection for them hinges on their completion of specific tasks, it’s time to consider whether you are relationship material as well. True love is unconditional….

[Asker]

It’s not specific tasks I think you misunderstand it’s just basic things like not going all day without talking or going a long time without seeing each other blowing off plans not giving much attention or affection stuff like that I don’t have a specific amount in mind but I don’t feel cared for and initially when we first met she did all those things better it’s part of the reason fell it feels like she suddenly changed up

[DishLady]

It’s normal for the speed of these things to slow down A LITTLE, but if you feel it’s slowed too much just have another chat with her to get a sense of why she seems to be distancing herself.

[Anonymous]

Look at it this way. The only person you have control over is yourself. You can't make anyone do anything. If you drifted apart there is a reason. You might simply be a wrong match.

[TheSpaceGnome]

If they aren't the type of person you enjoy being with, then you don't actually love them and are settling.

[AnonAndrew]

No way for us to answer if you don't tell us any details.

[Ariesman81]

It's called the bait and switch. Giving more effort is the wrong answer.

[Crazzyyworld]

Girls minds are rotten by the shakespearean

[Anonymous]

What do u need lol

[Asker]

Time together, consistent communication, affection

[DreamCrescent]

i’m sorry to have to break it to you but women when interested they actually do want to spend time with you and won’t go all day without a message or blow off plans. I’m sorry you’re in love with her but you’ll realize you deserve better

no one should feel blown off. i, for one would love to be all in with someone but i want to feel that reciprocated. otherwise, I’m completely out. many women aren’t as all-or-nothing like i am and are willing to just half-ass it because they can’t be bothered

[Asker]

I want someone who is my best friend in the world I want us to share everything and ofc you need your own time sometimes but I do want to spend a lot of time together when we can I want both of us to be communicative and always be respectful and I want us both to care and love each other. I just want something real with someone I think is amazing

[DreamCrescent]

i hope you find that soon. she’s not for you, i’ll tell you that much.

good luck out there, it’s rough

[missindiana93]

They don't care

[Asker]

It really seemed like she did at first I’m not sure what changed

[missindiana93]

Maybe something happened or she's cheating.

[Asker]

Who knows I may leave I don’t know yet I need to make sure I really want that first but I’m starting to consider it if things don’t get better

[Anonymous]

You leave and find someone better.