Why do some guys think dating single mothers is such a bad idea?

Question

LifeHitMeandRan · Accepted Answer

We don't think, we KNOW it's a bad idea:

1. Always "just a stepdad". No legal rights to the kids yet still expected to shoulder all the responsibility.

2. Having to deal with either the biological dad being present or dealing with the aftermath of his absence. No win situation. Even worse if he is a psycho, stalker, etc.

3. Often times being a single mother is a sign of bad decision-making skills. Basically means either the mother lacks impulse control or common sense and picks the wrong men. Also a potential sign she sleeps around. The exception to this is a divorced single mom. Presumably, if a woman was married then divorced, at least time was taken to get to know the ex-husband, marry him and the divorce to get settled. Shows she tried to make the right choice and sometimes things don't work out.

4. Unequal parenting. Many times, the mother wants to be in total control of discipline in the house and tells stepdad he just has to deal with her choices. This can unbalance a marriage where the man and woman are supposed to be equals.

Zack-Bann · Accepted Answer

During a pregnancy, the father is given 9 months to freak out and then come to term with parenthood followed by reading up on it covering all the outlets and table corners at home
Then he given an incremental entry into responsibility
Starting with diaper and sleep schedule followed by teaching the kid basic stuff like walking and talking and so on

Now a guy who’s never been a dad if he dates a single mom he’s expected to jump into the deep end overnight basically skipping all the levels and entering in the life of a child with all kinds of expectations
It’s not at all easy

That’s why I always recommend that single moms try dating single dads. At least both have enough background experience to handle the job

MemeSupreme · Accepted Answer

come on you get why lol ik it sucks but you gotta be aware of how it's a red flag to men and this is coming from a walking red flag with a lot of issues lmfaoo most people don't like baggage

Shiprex · Answer

The problem is double edged risk for men.

If he gets to know the woman well, falls in love and wants something to build with her then he gets into his head that the future is gonna be something. Bring in her children and he's gonna get attached to them and build relationship with them and create in his mind an even more complex and interwoven future as well.

If things go wrong then he's gonna lose both relationships which is even more of a killer because men KNOW kids bonding with them is as strong a bond as one could have and losing that is a worse than just losing the one with the woman. He understands the kid will be lost to him if they split.

OneViewpoint · Answer

It's not necessarily a "bad" idea. But dating single moms comes with baggage and a cost that may affect the rest of a guy's life. Why get involved with a woman who has a demonstrated history of making bad choices and spend your life raising some other man's children?

If a guy is OK with that future, then it's not a bad idea for him.

Anonymous · Answer

Three things. First, it is usually the case that a woman becomes a single mother due to poor life choices. It's a red flag.

Second, let's be honest, having a child can get in the way of dating.

Third, for men, children mean responsibilities without rights. Why would a man choose to put himself in that situation for another man's children?

Anonymous · Answer

1. I don't want to come second to a child that isn't mine.

2. I don't want to end up liking, possibly even loving the kid and never seeing them again if we were to break up.

I don't believe in soulmates. I believe we are compaditable with many different people, we pick one of those people and choose to be with them every day. Why should I pick someone when I could be with someone else and not have to worry about these two things?

Anonymous · Answer

Some men avoid dating single mothers due to concerns about:
* Limited time/availability.
* Children being the priority.
* Potential emotional/financial burdens.
* The complexities of blended family dynamics.

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

There's no good reason to date a single mom when there are plenty of women without kids

NicholasRedone · Answer

I don't see myself as material for offspring so I stay single and I stay without a woman who wants offspring

Berethor · Answer

Because single moms bring too much baggage with them, so it usually not worth it.

Anonymous · Answer

Because generally it is. I could ask you why do women think dating an ex-cin is bad idea? For the same reason. Some things should require an explanation. It's kind of staring you in the face.

Nice222 · Answer

It’s too much baggage. The last girl I dated had so much baggage she showed up with a bellhop on the date. At my age it is easier to just be single and do what I have to do.

Rohaan2020 · Answer

No idea… i’ve dated 2 single mothers and they both were awesome

Ariesman81 · Answer

Because it makes him a cuck.

Anonymous · Answer

They don’t want to deal with kids

wkhan_87 · Answer

Perhaps because of her kids.

Anonymous · Answer

Because kids are a deal breaker.

Why do some guys think dating single mothers is such a bad idea?

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