Is my fiancé looking at girls on insta or trying not to?

[Anonymous]

So I looked through his instagram last night (sorry don’t judge me please) not for any particular reason than to check it out. He doesn’t follow any naked girls or anything inappropriate and says he doesn’t desire to. And his feed is mostly brain rot degenerate reels to best describe it lol. (No hate tho some of it is funny.) The concerning part was that in his link history from the last 30 days there was a handful of OF links it says he clicked and one scammy looking porno site, and a telegram. I got really mad at him so he kept saying he was sorry and that he didn’t mean to click them and we were drunk but he said 95% he didn’t mean to click. But he also said he messed up so I don’t know what to believe or even ask him to find out the truth or if I even want to know. At the same time I looked at his not interested section and it’s all just thirst trap, naked girl stuff and he said he was trying not to see that stuff. But in the last 30 days there was like a whole screen taken up with posts like that. My question is if he’s not interacting with that stuff and clicking not interested, why is there so much of it he’s seen? Can anybody and specifically guys with feeds like his tell me if he’s really not watching that stuff or if he is and that’s why he keeps getting it? Thank you anything helps!

[petitedollbabee]

So on social media like instagram, Facebook etc, if you are male and over the age of 18 (you give apps that information when you sign up) you get targeted for pornographic content. The algorithm will push nude girls, sexy photos and all of that stuff onto your feed, even if you’ve never searched for it. I’ve had this happen to multiple friends and boyfriends who use those apps. Even if you click “uninterested” or “don’t show me these posts”, it will still show you them. Social media feeds are vastly different between men and women and it’s not because of what we search for. Interesting, right!


As for the OF links being in his history, he has clearly looked at some girls Onlyfans pages. In order to access Onlyfans through social media you have to click a link, then click another link that specifies “OnlyFans”, and so on. So there’s no way that he accidentally found them. But I personally wouldn’t hate on him for it. Maybe he was curious and just wondered what their pages looked like, who knows? When you go on OnlyFans, you CANNOT see any of the posted videos or photos unless you subscribe to their page. So it’s just a blank page with subscription information and the girls profile picture. So unless your fiancé has a purchase history of OnlyFans subscriptions, I would not worry about it.

[Asker]

Thank you for bringing up the point about the only fans! So I guess he must’ve been on those pages 😭

[DishLady]

Look. The fact is that all of us will see junk regardless of whether we want to or not. It's social media. It's geared to feature things that we've ALREADY searched in the past. So POSSIBLY he was looking at this sort of junk in the past so it appears in his featured/highlights. Now that doesn't mean he's running current searches on the same thing, however it doesn't mean that he's not tempted to look at the stuff.

Have a chat with him and find out what's going on.

[Anonymous]

Well first off don’t asked people to not judge you when you’re judging him. Almost every girl who could look at their man’s history will find something. I’m not defending him, but you have to realize a lot of me. Are going to look. No matter if it’s him or another dude. For you to expect that you’re the only girl he ever looks at is ridiculous. Telling men not to look at other women or find other women attractive is like asking you to stop being emotional. Maybe he has a problem w excessiveness, but even so like I said men always look at other women. Even if we say we don’t, we do.
In short yes he looks at them.

[HungTexan]

Unfortunately, he is watching that stuff. You don’t get it by accident! However, it doesn’t mean he’s trying to cheat on you, but he’s likely embarrassed by his behavior and sorry you caught him and now you know.

Rather than accuse him of something, why not just say you understand that guys have needs and desires regarding sex. Also, that you hope to take his mind off of any woman but you.

Not my business, but if y’all haven’t had sex, or don’t have sex frequently, then you should start.

[Asker]

Actually its always me that wants it all the time and him usually turning it down or only wanting to when he wants to 😭 I know he loves me so much though

[HungTexan]

Just talk to him and see if y’all can get past this. I really doubt there’s any cheating or deceit intended here.

[AReyMarz]

Seeing your other reponse he might’ve grown up, using that stuff to keep him “occupied” and watching that stuff is a reflex, it can get in the way of a healthy relationship if he’s going to that and not to you if you get my meaning. My best advice is air it out, let him know how it feels, why you don’t like it and don’t point fingers if you really care about this person. If they try to work with you or have a sense of wanting to hear you out, that’s a good start. He shouldn’t be ignoring how you feel, but it is his life and he isn’t cheating if you never stated you feel that way. Just my two cents