How do you change who you attract?

[Anonymous]

i seem to attract the type men who will break up with their partner to date me then go back when i say no. How do i attract moral, decent, intelligent men.

[DishLady]

Oooh. GREAT question. Inquiring minds want to know. (Let's see what the guys say...)

in my opinion, if you give yourself space from all guys (a month or two) and just use that time to take a good look at yourself, you'll notice things about your mannerisms and style that possibly attract the wrong guy bc you're signaling something to them before you exchange any words with them.

Internally, make sure you're confident (not timid) but modest (not... too overtly sexual).

Do a (light) makeover and then go out and see if what you're putting out there is different.

[SueShe]

Change the way you appear to them and the vibe you give to those men. Also, change the places you usually would chill out. Clubs and bars are notoriously attracting the scum of society that are only there to try to pick up a girl and then, once she is no longer a novelty, has been (mis) used and has a name on his long list of body counts, will "dispose" of her in favor of someone newer and unused yet.

Simply put, move up the ladder of those that you may find interesting. You may find the ones you seek in higher social circles and not so much in pick up bars. Also, social media is full of those that you don't want to meet, just like those that roam dating apps.

[Asker]

i dont go out, keep myself to myself, dont flirt, dress in a way that would offend.

[Abbycado]

@sueshe good answer - stop

[Asker]

@Abbycado sorry wouldn't offend. long sleeves and hems no low cut tops

[Abbycado]

No, no offense at all. I actually wanted to answer your question but don’t know how. I think the situation at my age and being in school is much different.

[SueShe]

@Abbycado - ... .- -. -.- -.-- --- ..- ✌️

[SueShe]

Go to lectures, to places where people with a higher education would gather and meet. If you see a person that you may like and that you think meets your requirements, then get the most basic knowledge of that topic so that you can start a conversation about the topic his is proficient. Meeting a person that shows interest in something that you are good or knowledgeable at, automatically creates a certain bond.

[SueShe]

@Abbycado Miss Abby, I see that you are going through the internet to try to decipher my morse code message. I see your brain is steaming. I simply said "Thank you".

You can relax now and have a glass of champagne in a gentlemen's club. Send me the bill... 🤣

[Abbycado]

XD lmao

Guess what? I tried a large Caesar chicken salad the other day. Boobs grew. Then I worked out and poof. So, there is you answer to that question. We were half right.

I will retire to my champagne and stripper pole workout. XD

[SueShe]

@Abbycado Shocking! I just choked on my caviar. Please don't ruin the image I have of you 🤔

[Abbycado]

Hey, it is purely for the workout. I stay clothed.

[SueShe]

@Abbycado Brrrr! that looks like dancing in the NORTH pole :-)

[Anonymous]

Well if it were that simple hun men would change fat girls to fit girls.😆

You can only do your best to discourage fat girls and do your best to encourage fit girls. There is no controlling WHAT approaches you hun.

[NicholasRedone]

Be yourself or be an improved growth version of yourself :) or visit nicer places, nice areas, nice cafes

[jahaims]

You have to know what to look for. If you haven't learned by now you won't.

[LionBrasa]

I'm decent and smart lol

[SueShe]

posing half nude?

[LionBrasa]

Being shirtless is normal 🥴

[In_Trance]

You can't