We all have preferences and usually people we like share many traits. According to the psychology our future or current partner might have many things similar to our EX.
It’s same for the people we attract. Usually we attract same type of people. Personally, I never attract guys who I like, I either attract shy, conservative men or beta men who want a submissive women. I know, I know “beta” isn’t a thing, I just mean men who don’t hold dominant position with their male friends but still want to have submissive women probably to make themselves feel better. I don’t know why I attract them and I want to change this but have no idea how.
Beta. Basically lacking that confidence. They're the ones that will pretend to be "just a friend" or "just a nice guy" in order to get their foot in the door. They're also the ones that bitch about being stuck in the friend zone because of that. They're fake, not straight up, have hidden agendas, yet oddly don't really even resemble what a fake, non-straight up female with hidden agendas resemble. Some beta's will get buff, but the personality traits that make them betas remain... complete assholes in a position of power, thus they never maintain power over much for long.
Beta is a thing. Want to get rid of them? You'll have to be this thing they call a bitch. Don't be nice. Alphas don't mind rejection... betas get butt hurt and emotional about it. Usually the result of single mother families, they really don't know how to just handle a straight "NO" and view everything as negotiable. Salesman with a great 5 minute presentation during the interview phase... but in the long run you'll realize they were just cons. Salesman are cons, because a product that sells itself doesn't need some dude convincing you to buy. Beggars, like those bums on the streets with a sign, same thing.
Say no, ignore, and don't be afraid to tell their beta asses to fuck off. By behaving this way, the observant alphas will take notice. Alphas don't want to deal with some beta chick that lets just any guy that tries make moves on her. Alphas want much more than that... just keep that in mind when you're wondering why you're not attracting certain kinds of people. Dress and act like a rocker and like minds are more likely to to come up and talk to you.
@Nerdking Ever had a job where your work doesn't matter and you just have to keep looking busy on a computer? Sometimes being lame on a site like gag is just the better alternative in a given moment.
Damn dude. That was a fkn great answer. U worded it perfectly pretty much and I'm in agreement 100%. I said the same thing just not in so many words. Lmao.
When a relationship ends, we figure out what we do and do not want our next relationship to include. We don't want to be with someone who evokes the parts of our exes that we dislike.
In fact, sometimes we want our next relationship to be with somebody who is the complete opposite of our most recent ex.
*"I don’t know why I attract them and I want to change this but have no idea how.
I attract the wrong type of men that want to use me for sex and money. I think all of us ladies have this issue because most guys think its ok or normal to want sex and money all the time. We are not a bank, please make sure you have a little money to take a girl out, its doesn't have to be expensive, just take us out to do something you like thats not sex. We want sex too but what about the dates and that kind of thing. Guys should be nice men and treat girls with respect but they are not, most of them are horrible people, that pray on women no matter the race or background. Unless they are taught what they need to do and not just bring a girl to there house cook them dinner and have sex with them. Thats not a relationship that is a one night stand, nothing will come out of that, and its not love either. We girls have a problem to, we let them do this to us because we want that prince charming but most guys are not rich, or a price charming so how do you date people when they can't afford anything or have the wrong thoughts in our mind about love.
I think I´m attracting guys who are more of the silent and introverted type who may have some issues with themselves (confident problems). Because I´m an ambivert and I can be the talkative one, but also really understandable with deep conversations. Introverts seem to need both of this, so they are usually really impressed by me and fall for me, even though it´s not really what I am looking for. Those people are mostly really great persons, but I need someone who can show passion and get out of their comfort zone. I´m easily getting bored by introverts after a while, because I can´t be the one who gives input all the time. I think I´d need an ambivert too as a partner to stay happy.
I attract a**holes. And the reason is because I've never loved myself enough to deeply understand what I deserve and I keep making the same mistake over and over again. I'm trying to focus more on myself though, I really am. I'm young and never been in a serious relationship. I thought I had finally met what could have been my first love but then I was dumped a month ago but you know what? Losing him was my biggest win and I once read a quote that said "you not wanting me was the beginning of me wanting myself so thank you". And I truly hope this is gonna be the start of a new chapter after 21 years of "hating" myself.
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4 Reply
Asker
+1 y
I like you, girl Don’t let them boys break your heart, I hope that too. Good luck 🍀
The wrong kind the lying kind the cheating kind so if that's who ice attracted in my past in looking for action to match their word and standing my Ground on what I want need desire and paying more attention SPECIALLY when red flags come up and I no longer will let it slide it ignore them. I'm flawed to but I've never intentionally hurt anyone not have 8 kied to gain anyone or cheated on anyone and I definitely refuse to be abusive in any type of relationship. So for this all to have been done to me more than once. I opt to break the cycle and free myself of those chains.
Idek what type of girls I attract. at least not for 100%. But before i get to make a judgement I'll tell you a bit about me and you being a woman (I'm assuming from your profile) decide what type of women You'd think would go for me since men (me including) can be a bit delusional at times especially when it comes to love). Most girls find me cute as in adoreable but not sexy as I have a very youthful look (I'm 18 by the way but would easily be judged as 14-16 depending on whether I keep my facial hair or not. I have a moderately athletic toned body but more to the slim side. Personality wise I'm a bit weird and can be a bit of an idiot sometimes but at the same time I can be mature and smart. I am a good listener (if I'm interested in the person speaking) and am generally honest to myself.
But as far as i think those who tend to have crush on me are generally reserved. In a way i think its good cos ik they're not slags and I could probably have a heart to heart connection with them instead of just a course of few months where we just shag meaninglessly. But the girls I (think) I attract comes in variations. I can't really put them on the same boat. For example, I know a girl who i thought was reserved but when interacting with me she is a completely different person. And I don't know if that's her hormones messing around with her or me misinterpreting her. Sometimes i think I understand women only to find out i don't. It's just weird.
So basically ur saying u want to be with someone who's a KING in his circle. U know im not gunna use the word KING. Ill use the word respected instead. But i agree with u. Men that are inferior of their counterparts often have some type of dominant issue somewhere else in life. Who knows what that can be. The reason why you're probably attracting these kind of men is because you're probably that way yourself or your portraying yourself to be that way to others. If you want someone to take a bigger role then step up your game. You're not going to get to Hawaii in a row boat, right?
I get told I should respond to things like this about a person who wants to always be dating the top dog. Funny I want a woman who's independent and free thinking but all I attract are crazies, idiots, and people who are so emotionally dependant that I have to coddle them. I don't need to be the alpha male in my friends to feel good about myself because we all have our strength and weeknesses, and I don't need validation from anyone but myself. But I can guarantee you I only keep the few around who aren't the above mentioned.
Back when I did attract people, it was needy, naïve people (traits I share). Many of them have had mental health issues where I thought I could support them but I really don't have the expertise, life experience or stamina. I also find it difficult to empathise or tell what is driving people's behaviour sometimes because I am autistic.
Now that reality has bitten me in the arse, I've gotten fat, had my confidence of youth drained and have a lower standing in work and family than I should in my early 30s, I attract nobody (that I know of. People who care about me despair.
As for your predicament, it sounds like you need to make it obvious you own/drive your life and nobody else does.
How wow this is actually really interesting. In general for all i know even though im heterosexual i attract men more often than women. But the woman i attract share no attributes, they differ in intelligence, appearance and behaviour. The only thing they have in common is questionable mental stability. Im attracted to cold-blooded and in general, woman who unlike me.
But the question how to change that is interesting. I don't know whether there's a point in further reflection, but my first thinking concludes you would either need to change your behaviour in order to have a different impact on people or construct your relationships from the very beginning.
to answer your question, i think you should do less laughing or being cute (at least around those beta males) or anything else that shows you're not intimidating. i believe those beta as you describe them won't like a woman with integrity, because they won't be able to have an ego stroke
i attract various type of girls tbh not just certain type like you, one thing they have in common is that they like me for the same thing : i show integrity, like not deepening bonds with every single fkin woman, my action isn't influenced by others, etc etc. i also show "alpha"ness and sometime seems arrogant, but specificly to ladies i'm gentle and kind (despite them not being close to me) because i respect ladies.
I usually attract guys that are in a relationship. I'm quite a shy person, very independent. I guess it's because I'm more comfortable around 'unavailable' guys, I struggle to bond with girls, and I haven't been interested in having a relationship before now. I like being around guys that fancy me, but having that safety net there, stopping them from pushing for a relationship. With the person I'm in a relationship with now, I had to get things rolling, he's opposite to the usual guys I attract. I guess I give off a 'no strings attached' vibe.
My ex was nothing like my previous ex in terms of personality or interests. I do however attract needy types. I'm a cancerian so I can be extremely warm and empathetic which the needy types often levator too. I had a mad bitch being very forward with me in the gym after we made friends with one another, it was extremely uncomfortable. Constant hugs, asking to join me in my work out. God I hated it. It's true though, I never attract the girls I really like. The ones I have really liked have always finished with me.
I attract sociopaths and mastermind manipulators who are looking to crush me since I am also a sociopaths manipulator. You attract men who want a submissive woman because you look like a submissive woman or you look like a strong woman who men will have fun breaking. If you change from becoming a weak looking woman to a strong looking woman or a strong looking woman to a weak looking woman nothing will change, the same type of people will come for you. It's the downfall to having a vagina I'm afraid.
I mostly attract guys who are very stereotypical of my generation (sporty/Nike attire with occasional preppy outfits, enjoys vaping/chiefing/drinking from time to time, etc). I think maybe it's because I'm a very stereotypical girl of my generation. Personality-wise, the guys who are into me are very confident among his friends and girls who are only his friends. But around their crush, they act awkward, nervous, and just very different. They also tend to be "boyish" in the way that they seem more immature than their friends lol.
I attract people all the time. I have this very weird energy around me. People have said you have positivity around you. I usually attract rich people. To be honest I also do have poor friends. I am a funny yet I read all the time and because of this I know lots of useful / useless materials in my mind. I like talking to people. Even though I have a slurred speech people talk to me. People are happy around me. I smile all the time when I am next to people. I guess the energy from my smile is sincere and it boasts my confidence ever since high school. As a freshman I was friends with people between Freshman and senior. I also felt like I had this funny energy around me to cause i make people laugh. I am a good listener as well. I act myself and that's why people like to talk to me. Even if my speech is a bit slurred.
1) guys older than me. I swear by God my peers actually bully me but when I come across older guys they tend to like me 😂 2) introverts or ambiverts. But I'm really outgoing. They were also quiet guys while I'm talkative like a radio. 3) somehow... guys that have no interest in cricket. And I am a cricket freak. 4) also somehow they all had genuinely fit bodies to muscular bodies. This is just a coincidence, not so serious. 5) and most were assholes trying to take bad advantage of my well-being. I hopefully outgrew that cause I was an idiot for the last few years.
Many different types , older younger, sain insain, wild refined. It depended on how I am feeling. I can get wild go out dancing other times I'm quiet and semi shy. Sort of multiple personality without the psycho part. All depends if I'm comfortable being out of my comfort zone some time I can walk up to total strangers and start talking about interesting topics then other times I won't even look people in the eye or approach anyone. Wow sound a little bipolar. I can be subdue at times others full of energy and the life of the party. Ohhkeee then...
I attract -Ghetto loud mouth black girls ( No) -Fat Girls ( No pls) -Wanna be ghetto girls ( fuck no) -A girl who has a boyfriend that is trying to have a love affair with me (bullshit) -Old women (Nah) - Just Turned 18 girls (That has a babyface of a 10 year old) -Below 18 girls ( I get hella annoyed by this, like Get away from me D:) -SJW Girls ( WTF NO) -Stinky Girls (nope) -Baby Mamas (hell no) -Middle age baby mamas ( NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO) -That rare time where I meet a hot babe with a great personality but I just push her away because I believe she has a boyfriend and I am not too good enough for her (fuck me) -Girls that want to go down to business after meeting them for 5 mins (ILL PASS) -Most commonly though I attract Vampire Narcissist Pile of Shits (Fuck you, Just fuck you all, you dumb fucks!) #Virgin4Life
I have exactly the same issue as you. I always attract shy, submissive, conservative girls and I'm attracted to confident, self assured, outgoing, sexy sluts that squat. It's been very annoying and what I did was develop my personality until I was finally attractive to everyone then avoided the shy conservative ones and made out with the sexy confident ones.
As for what you can do... develop confidence my facing your fears, ask out the alphas that you want, dress more sexy and slutty and wear more makeup. The insecure betas want girls that they feel they don't risk losing to alphas... so they're into less confident, less sexy girls and less promiscuous girls. So become more confident, sexy and promiscuous and you'll filter out the betas and attract the alphas. Look for yourself, how do the girls that the alphas like dress, talk and carry themselves? Become that.
This is 100% true. I have seen this and myself have experimented with changing my presentation, wearing major cleavage sitting straight, screaming my answers at the professors and speaking confidently in class debates. I have noticed more guys chose to sit next to me in the next classes and tried to spark up a conversation and ask to be my friend. I was doing this because this one sort of bad boy guy in my class sparked my interest so I did this to attract him, when I found out he was sleeping with someone I decided to go back to my other self, but now I wish I wore cleavage today instead of a long sleeve and sports t-shirt Lol. I don't want to go back to how I was and get the same people I used to attract.
Personally I've attracted a couple of genuinely nice, wholesome girls (as far as I can tell), a few more extroverted girls, and some people more like me as well (with is occasionally extroverted, dark humor, and fairly athletic).
To attract different types of people you have to appeal to them somehow. What kind of men do you want to attract?
Black guys. Sight unseen too, like on the internet. Not sure what it is really. Just a weird phenomenon I can't figure out. (I'm white)
Also, mentally ill people, attention whores, and very emotionally draining people. ... Comes from me being too nice I guess.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
I've only ever attracted one person in my life so far. We're best friends and she admitted that she likes me. She's got depression and anxiety and she's told me that I'm one of the very few people she's actually comfortable around. I wish she could see what I see, she's perfect but she doesn't know it. She's one of the most unique, funny and interesting people I've ever met. Hell, the only reason I'm not dating her is because I'm too scared and I love too much to want risk our friendship for something more. Plus we're still in high school and from what I see, high school relationships don't last. If it ever happens, I want our relationship to be longer and more serious than that. I'm willing to hold onto her until we're more mature if that's what it takes.
I want to attract nice girls that got their shit together. I usually attract girls with issues. In my teens I attracted almost everyone? Not anymore though. I think my problem is that I struggle with being romantic amd flirty, and tend to focus too much on the persons thoughts, ideas and ambitions etc.
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