How easily do you attract people?

[DishLady]

Some people have very appealing personalities and are able to attract others to them like moths to a flame, while others tend to draw people away from them... Which are you?

Very easily. People love me. (I have a naturally magnetic personality.)

Pretty easily. People understand me. (I like getting to know people and building relationships.)

Not too easily. People question me. (I try to get along with others, but need to make an extra effort to understand them... or to get them to understand me.)

Not at all. People tend to hate me and are always out to get me. (I don't get along with others, don't want to get along with others, and don't care about anyone but myself, tbh.)

[UnicornLobotomy]

Growing up out in the country far from a very small town and then getting a tbi when I was in Iraq at 19 created who I am. Small towns are cliquish, I could’ve been popular but I chose not to be. I had opportunities in the city after my injury and even in college or places I worked. I chose a complicated woman to have a relationship with. Even though I could walk out of a club or a bar with an 8 on almost any night, my complicated past usually made me feed the demon of starting drama and hell raising. I was often the center of attention if I wanted to be, but just as often I was a loner wrestling demons in the corner.

Without alcohol I usually want to get along with people and people find me easy to get along with.

I developed isolation patterns after my divorce in my mid 20s even without substance or alcohol use. I rated off and on during these times but it was to the detriment of my male companionship that I could have built. I have some pictures of me at times being the person God intended me to be. I’m just glad I’m here and not acting so damn anti-social. I wish I was less depressed spiteful and sensitive and jealous when I was younger. I love people, my upbringing was sort of spartan, and the things that happened could have made me a better person instead of a worse one. I’m less full of myself now, better late than ever.

Not everyone can fit into one of 4 different short personality types. Thats one reason of many that people are awesome, wonderfully and fearfully made by God.

[DishLady]

Sorry to hear this story... that you went through this...

Yes, of course the 4 types are as general as possible to allow folks to do a simple poll.

Hopefully now that you've come through all this you can grow stronger and build more positive relations with those who God puts on your path. :)

[UnicornLobotomy]

I feel like I have, finally. I have actually helped some people and it was not in vain. Recently. I am getting better. Thank you.

[OlderAndWiser]

I am naturally introverted but I have learned how to act extroverted when the occasion calls for it, and that has helped me to develop confidence in myself. I think women perceive me as a very good guy, loyal, protective and nurturing, but perhaps a bit timid. When I was dating, I was very candid talking with a woman on a first date, and I was very non-judgmental about whatever she told me, so I think most women felt very comfortable with me after a first date.

But those days have come to an end!

[Dongie]

Yeah, what he just said.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It depends on the type of person and when/if I need them. I usually end up attracting people who have unhealthy relationships with their mothers because most of my friends end up also becoming my mom’s friends as she’s “the quintessential mother” to quote my roommate lol
But I always have a best friend at every stage of my life thus far, someone who gets me and lets me know that I’m here and I’m welcomed. We share interests, which turns into bonding and turns into emotional intimacy that allows us to be fully ourselves with one another. I’m not sure how I keep attracting such people, but I’m always glad to not be alone.

[IslaTheWitch]

so now imagine... I'm not a social creature... I mostly stay in my world or observe from afar... now with time, I'm much better at small talk and other socially required activities but still avoid them if I only can... so... in general, I try to be socially invisible, hidden in the shadows...

people SHOULD AVOID this oddball, right? I don't know how it works but I attract people...

[DishLady]

Right!

[HawkPerception]

Hmm... I think once people start talking to me, most start to like me, but those moments are pretty rare as I'm introverted and the only way I go out of my to speak to people is cold outreach in work, which doesn't count.

But let's say I'm taking a walk in the park and start talking to someone... I think there's a good chance we get along.

Attract people though? I wouldn't say I'm the most charismatic person. I don't draw people to me. My friend on the other hand seems to get all that attention naturally. People always seem to want to talk to him just naturally. Even when we're chilling together, everyone always seems to strike conversations with him and kinda just ignore me 😂

I don't know what it is... body language or face or the way he dresses vs. me.

[Sonorous]

Not too easily.

But it isn't because I don't understand them. It's because I have no interest in being around them.

[Damaged00]

I've been told I have a great personality. I'm easy to talk to and understanding. I've had a few people at work comment how I draw people to me and that I can literally talk to anyone. I've noticed myself that people feel they can tell me anything. I usually have people unload their personal things to me even complete strangers I've just met. I think I just have an open mind and can relate to a lot. I'm also very loyal and don't go around spreading other's personal things.

[worldscolide]

People don't hate me, but I do hate people. Like my wife and I could be going to walmart, and it, no matter how long we are there, is exhausting. And it gets worse as I get older. There are very few people I can tolerate being around, and those are family and my best friend, and my wife.

[DishLady]

I hear you. While folks always have nice things to say about me, as I get older I feel my patience with foolish people wearing thin and don't tolerate shopping trips at all. I like my friends, though, and occasionally let one or two new people into the friendship zone as well.

[worldscolide]

Right!! It's why I shop late in the evening. Fewer people.

[DishLady]

SMART! Love it.

[ChillNsweet32]

I went with pretty easily although I'm still very withdrawn and to myself 90% of the time, I tend to be very easy going and to myself. I am friendly, considerate and engaging towards most people. When I tell someone that I am an introvert they tell me, "you definitely dont seem like an introvert lol." Then I say, good talk now I need to recharge ✌ 😂

[ChillNsweet32]

I forgot to add that I turn on the charm because it helps me at work or in a situation where I need to be more approachable towards people. I get on my colleagues' good side etc. Then I continue on with living my quiet introverted life and only speak when spoken to for the most part

[sheenagwapa]

i am friendly irl. sometimes i think i am too nice and too accommodating and so i remind myself not to do that so that they will respect me. i observe people respect tgose who are more bitchy. but then that is hard to change because that's just who i am. for me if the person isn't nice to me i just avoid them i am happy anyway even if i am just on my own since i am an introvert.


as i get older though my energy is dwindling down.

[MicahRaine]

In an attempt to not be overly narcissistic, I voted "Pretty easily."

I find strangers incredibly intriguing, and people love to talk about themselves, so I always have or end up with a friend wherever I go. It's rare for me to go somewhere more than twice and not know multiple people by name. That said, I'm rarely the center of attention, nor do many people know a lot about me. But to me, that's perfect.

[RebelinSteel]

In the real world I’m pretty laid back and easy going. I sort of get on with most people, they more likely get attracted to our group than me lol.

[DishLady]

Yeah, I get that. I had a couple of friend groups like that for a good long while.

[Yannae]

It depends on my mindset because I am an introvert and when going out I put on that mask as if I am super extroverted and people gravitate towards me. But Athe moment I am back home I could just fall on my bed, knocked out. My social battery runs low very quickly :( but I am working on it.

[Iron_Man]

I attract them I’m just real shy in person and have been kind of brainwashed by my sister and cousin that I don’t wanna bother women and approach strangers. They were always complaining about men doing that

[Dongie]

Hey, are there two Iron Men?

[Iron_Man]

@Dongie no I found that picture in my photo album I put it up. I like the way it looked.

[Iron_Man]

I’m always changing my pictures around to when I was younger and to older

[Dongie]

So your the same guy I've talked to? Ok.

[Iron_Man]

@Dongie yes obviously you know that

[Iron_Man]

Nobody runs my account but me

[Dongie]

Yeah I noticed that y'all would be the same age too.

[Iron_Man]

@Dongie there is no you all it’s me only I told you about
I put different pictures up from younger to older. The ones that I like

[Dongie]

I understand. I was saying if there had been 2 different iron men you two would have been the same age.

[Iron_Man]

@Dongie there’s been some other Iron Man’s about five years ago with a different name along with it, but this is the original Iron Man account. I’ve been here for 13 years.

[DishLady]

@Iron_Man Brainwashed? But approaching them and bothering them isn't the same thing...

[Iron_Man]

it’s complaints about how they act what they do and say everything and the nerve of that male chauvinist pig they said all kinds of stuff and yes, being approach and bothered

[Iron_Man]

they brainwashed me by their years of rants into having fear of approaching woman due to their negativity about men bothering them, so that’s why I never wanted to bother a woman

[DishLady]

@Iron_Man :(

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It's easy, I just have a hard time being intimate with just anyone now. Guess it's a part of getting older

[DishLady]

Not really. We tend to go through cycles in terms of when we feel ready for intimacy.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Outside of here I's say quite well because I tend to engage with people and am always up for a joke or two, but on here I think because humour doesn't always transcend text, it's very much a mixed bad.

Some people gravitate towards me, and others stick me in the bin lol

[Serkee]

I think there's a missing option there. People don't really like me or hate me, I'm just invisible. And when I put myself in a social situation, I'm ignored unless I get annoying and intrude in other people's conversations or groups, in which case they fake smile and act polite, then keep ignoring me. I'm sure it's due to my own lack of social skills and knowhow, but I'm just not sure what else to do.

[NathanDavis]

for whatever reasons, I am mostly likeable

but I'd say, or they have said it themselves... they're intrigued or interested at first, attraction might happen a bit after or not...

[TonyMetal___86]

I don't know and i don't like to speak on myself, let the others give their opinions about me, starting with YOU 😌

[DishLady]

No, no. I'm also not judging.

[TonyMetal___86]

Okay miss judge dish 👩‍⚖

[Pterodon]

I don't know. I’ve always had the ability to talk to anyone from bums on the street to corporate executives my whole life

[DishLady]

Same. A gift and a curse, haha.

[luvstoned4him]

Im not super extraverted... mostly reserved and I have strong beliefs which I never compromise on so because of that I'm misunderstood a lot

[Ironco]

I look intimidating I guess, so people tell me all the time, until I get to know them.

[DishLady]

Really?

[Ironco]

Yes, been this way my whole life.
I'm used to it.
It's kind of a game for me now.

[DishLady]

Lol. Some folks have called me intimidating, but that makes me laugh bc I'm pretty far from it.

[Ironco]

Same here, I know it's my physical appearance and my face. But I'm a puppy dog

[DishLady]

Aww. <3

[exitseven]

I do not attract too many people but I am often surprised when I find out that people want to hang out with me.

[KittygosMeoWW]

I’d like to think I’m at least average lol but surprisingly I have attracted some very good looking men.

[Dongie]

The second. It comes without trying usually seeing as I am a shy person I am usually being over here.

[Lonewolf1974]

I love getting to know people because I can make anyone laugh their asses off I used to be a bartender so making people laugh just comes naturally to me

[rienna888]

It's easy because im pretty and also funny from being the outcast in high school.

[Mwolf]

Oddly never am able to have/make any good real relationships with females. Probably due to being a tomboy and cognitive functions of my MBTI type as an INTJ.

[BadApple69]

I’ve never had a problem attracting ladies, guys look up to me because of status so it’s hard to tell if it’s my personality or status that draws men near.

[Anonymous]

Not at all, I guess that's why I'm still single.

[DishLady]

Being single doesn't necessarily come from lack of attraction.

[Opinion Owner]

What then? Because I'm not a rich person?

[DishLady]

No, it has nothing to do with money. You're probably putting out a twitchy "fuck off" vibe.

[Opinion Owner]

No, I actually want a relationship, but I'm too shy.

[DishLady]

Ok... And how long do you plan to use that as your excuse? You're in your 40s now... Time to step out of your little shell.

[Opinion Owner]

It's not an excuse, it's a fact, I just lack self-confidence, there is no cure for that :(

[DishLady]

LOL. There most certainly IS a solution to that. It's JUST a lack of self-confidence... It's fixable.

[Opinion Owner]

Ok, how to fix it then?

[DishLady]

DM me and we can do a deconstruction of your hang ups and such, shy guy.

[Opinion Owner]

DM? What's that?

[OfMiceandMen]

I am pretty easy going and tend to get along with most people. Just kind of a happy-go-lucky type guy.

[Juxtapose]

Not easily cus I am autistic and fundamentally different from other people. I will never truly fit in.

[HaveNoName]

I don't think there's anything attractive about me. I would add something to that but only in a direct message. Hopefully soon 😂

[WhitneySnow]

The second one

[Anonymous]

People always run away from me and run for cover when they see me

[Squatting_Slav]

Quite easily, I am told I'm unusually charasmatic

[legalboxers]

I've become standoff-ish in my old age

[lightbulb27]

Generally very easily.