What are your ways to be alluring to someone?

[ventustalks]

You want a girlfriend/boyfriend. How do you get one? What do you do? Let's chat!

[jennifer_bloom]

I think if your humble and kind and honest, somebody will show interest in you, especially if you also protect your body by eating a healthy and nutritious diet and doing normal exercise that don't have to be very hard or extreme.

When I was young, I felt like I wasn't good enough because I wasn't the very best but I know many very good looking and smart guys that want normal and average looking girls cause they are viewed as less image conscious and less high demand dates then the models that might be harder to get or maintain a happy equilibrium and livelihood with.

[A_Bell]

When I playfully tease a guy with banter, this always seems to work, if they have a sense of humor. They definitely don't expect it from a girl.

[dynamicyandere]

As many others have said, just be yourself.


But, what if that’s not enough?


Then work on improving yourself, but still be YOU.


Who you are now and who the best version of yourself is, are both YOU.


Just continually move towards that best version of yourself and you will find someone special as you travel along that journey.


Another thing is having ways to cross paths with other people, whether in person or online.


Because even if you’re a diamond, nobody will ever know that if you’re hiding in a box.

[TenderFantasy]

[Just continually move towards that best version of yourself and you will find someone special as you travel along that journey.]

1. That's like saying don't settle.
2. Pretty selfish of someone to leave their partner in their time of need. My ex did that. He was cruel like that.
3. What if you DON'T improve but get worse. Maybe through sickness or old age. God how cruel some people are.

[dynamicyandere]

@TenderFantasy

Just to clarify, I was speaking in the context of the OP’s question about how to find a girlfriend or boyfriend.

So, it’s in the context of being single and struggling to find someone to date.

I’m not talking about leaving your current partner and constantly finding someone new.

By improving yourself, I meant things like learning how to be more patient, learning how to be a better listener, learning how to control your anger, learning how to resolve conflicts better, building your confidence, building your character, etc.

For example…

If a husband is trying to improve themselves as a person, divorcing their wife and finding another doesn’t improve anything about them.

But if a husband stays in their marriage and improves themselves so that they are a better husband, the whole marriage will improve as a result.

Monkey-branching to another person is not improving oneself—and that’s not what I’m condoning.

As for #3. Again, I’m talking in the context of the OP’s question about how to attract a boyfriend or girlfriend…

If someone has no prospects, no dates, no suitors, then if they want to attract a girlfriend or boyfriend, I believe the best thing to do is to try to improve—holistically.

Because if they don’t, their dating life will likely remain the same—non-existent.

If they settle for this, they are settling for being alone and single.

If they are content with that, more power to them—they can live how they want to.

But, if they aspire to find love, and they aren’t finding it yet, THAT’S where I’m saying that improving oneself is a good path to take to improve one’s chances of finding love.

In other words, if you’re a guy that’s struggling to find a girlfriend, then learn how to become a better boyfriend. Become ideal boyfriend material.

And if you’re a girl that’s struggling to find a boyfriend, then learn how to become a better girlfriend. Become ideal girlfriend material.

And the key to that isn’t looks, but rather heart and soul.

[TenderFantasy]

Good points there, but you also have to admit that looks DO factor into it. Otherwise, you're just "friends" and if horny enough and drunk enough, friends with benefits/fuck buddies then lol.

Also, though, keep in mind that nobody is getting any younger. The older you are, the worse it is of finding someone who isn't already married or in a relationship, with or without baggage in the name of children, etc. So maybe unforutnately, the older someone gets, the more they HAVE to tweak their standards (or sadly even maybe lower it), IF they want to find someone... unless they get lucky at their increasing ages to find someone not only without much baggage but is compatible with them in a lot of ways. That you can live with and you can LOVE a lot of things about them. 👍🙂

[TenderFantasy]

Oh and lastly, I feel like a lot of people make things too complicated, especially when it comes to dating/mating.

[dynamicyandere]

@TenderFantasy

Thanks!

True. Even though looks isn’t what makes a good boyfriend/girlfriend, it definitely is a factor that helps or hurts someone’s chances of finding someone.

As much as we don’t like it, it’s common practice for people to judge books by their cover—even if it’s just subconscious.

And yeah, unfortunately for some, the only way to find someone is is lower their standards, because the dating world can be tough, especially with increasing age.

And true. I believe that dating was so much more straightforward, less superficial, and more wholesome, before the rise of social media and dating apps.

There’s just a lot more to navigate now societally and culturally and socially due to so many new factors nowadays.

I personally advocate courting rather than dating, where the intent is to establish a long term relationship that results in marriage.

Anything else almost inevitably leads to broken hearts, hurt feelings, or being unfulfilled.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Be present, polish your presentation. The way you wear your clothes, the tone with which you speak.

Be empathetic enough to be able to see what she wants but be masculine enough to show her a good time. I think most woman who aren't just after a guys money just want to have a good time. They want a man who can show them things and keep them away from the dangers of poverty.

[brooker]

First off, confidence is key. Now, I don't mean you have to be this loud, boisterous character if that's not your vibe. Confidence can be quiet, too. It's more about being comfortable in your own skin and valuing who you are. When you love yourself, it kinda radiates outward, and other people can feel that. It's like you're giving them permission to be themselves too, and that's incredibly alluring.

Another thing is attentiveness. And no, I don't mean hanging on their every word like they're the Oracle from the Matrix or something. It's more about actually listening when they talk, remembering the small details, and showing interest in their life and opinions. Everyone wants to feel heard, right?

Now let's talk humor. Being funny—or at least appreciative of humor—can go a long way. Humor breaks down walls and makes interactions so much more enjoyable. You don't have to be a stand-up comedian; just being able to laugh at the absurdities of life or even at yourself can make you a lot more endearing to others.

Of course, let's not forget physical attraction. Now, I'm not saying you need to be a supermodel. Attraction varies from person to person. But basic things like good hygiene, dressing in a way that makes you feel confident, and just generally taking care of yourself can amp up your allure factor for sure.

Last but not least, be genuine. Authenticity is rare these days, especially in a world where everyone is trying to put their "best self" forward 24/7, especially on social media. Being yourself—even if you're a little quirky or different—is refreshing. Plus, you don't want to keep up a façade forever, trust me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Just be yourself is the correct answer, but its also the wrong answer.

You have to be yourself around likeminded people you're attracted to, which is VERY hard to set up.

I don't know where to find women like that in the US, in japan I could just hang out in the akihabara shopping district in tokyo daily to find a perfect mental match. But in the US, there is no place like that, at least that I'm aware of.

[Wonderingguyy]

I used to look at someone for a while until they made eye contact, then smile and approached them. I ONLY approached someone after ages of playing the glancing and glancing away game… keeps them interested and makes them intrigued so when I did approach them, they were very open to talking to me.

[CallmeTheKnight]

Confidence in actions and words. No arrogance and ego.
Vulnerability as a strength. Venting is bad and so is crying
Charismatic and a good sense of humor. Be opportunistic when it comes to humor to make a moment worth while and listen to understand before you respond.
Good hygiene and nice cologne.

[Yucy_Gluttony]

I scoot closer and find an excuse to sit next to them. I have a cute smile and pretty eyes. I can do a sexy voice as well! I can be innocent, I can be more playful, whatever reels in my target faster.

[charrissanextdoor]

Play the field, make him jealous and feel the need to make it official so you can be all his/ not share you with anyone else. This worked for me. It made him realize how much he really liked me and wanted me off the single market.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That only works for players who will eventually cheat on you.

Making a good guy jealous is a surefire way to lose his interest. I'd only go for a woman who only has eyes for me. The moment she starts eyeing another guy, I'm dropping her.

[charrissanextdoor]

@TheSpaceGnome most guys are still talking to other girls and speed dating around when they are “talking” to you so why only put your eggs in one basket off the bat? Unless you tell me you like me and are serious with me, I will still keep my options open. As long as you are transparent with the other person and you guys are on the same page then you know where their head is at and vice versa. To test a guy if they’re really interested in me, I only give them my time and focus on them for a few months. By if they continue with the “I’ll play it by ear- see where this goes”, don’t tell me how they feel or don’t say we are exclusive then I figure they are not serious with me. To me this just means they are stringing me on. So I keep my options open and find a more suitable partner that is on the same page as me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

There is only ever one basket at any point to put my eggs in, or sperm in? That saying always seemed weird to me.

If she is surveying lots of options it means she thinks she has lots if options, if thats the case, she's either very boring, or has no idea what she wants.

A good match would b-line straight to me and get tunnel vision, and I'd do the same for her, because we don't have many options that are appealing to us.

If she isn't picky, she isn't worth my time because she isn't similar enough to me.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Or to put it simply, baskets are rare af.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I also only go for women I'm already best friends with, flirting with strangers is for weirdos.

[KrakenAttackin]

Somehow I think you have and will always have a roster.

[KrakenAttackin]

"Play the field", meaning "ride the cock carousel".

[charrissanextdoor]

@KrakenAttackin no it doesn’t it means keep your options open and still are open to dating around. I guess it’s interpretation can vary but that’s what I mean. And I don’t have a roster. I am a one man woman.

[KrakenAttackin]

@charrissanextdoor. How can you possibly develop intimacy with one person when you are dating several?

[DarkWinterNights]

If I’m interested in someone I generally just flirt with them day after day until they make their own interest clear. It’s the long game approach that doesn’t work out often. But I’m not very good at cold approaches.

[Unit1]

I got no tricks. I don't believe in bullshitting women.

[KrakenAttackin]

@Unit1. Spot on. The best relationships are where there is mutual attraction, no game playing bullshit.

[Unit1]

@KrakenAttackin yes Sir. I reckon that is likely the reason i am not getting girls. Unsurprising isn't it?

[KrakenAttackin]

Better to not have a girl than to have a crazy bitch.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Eh, I guess some have just liked my weirdo personality.

I don't do anything specifically, I'm just being myself.

[BoopBoopBeep]

Print out my credit report. No seriously, just be yourself. You want the person to be after that real you, not an air you put on.

[AnusNdaPainus]

This is where advice like “ Be yourself “ becomes useful because no one can be you better than you and if a girl likes you for you then your dating life will be a breeze

[Nikki1989]

You shouldn't have to do anything, just socialize and be yourself.

[UniquelyBasic]

I don't know. Women just had crushes on me and I had no idea what I did lol

[Anonymous]

I dress up and then ignore them and make them jealous. Works because I am easy on the eyes and have a reserved demeanor anyways.

[RingOfFire]

I've found that women find not having tattoos on my fingers very alluring.

[Guanfei]

Girl please, I couldn't even be alluring to a troll, there is no way for me to be alluring to a woman.

[CuriousMufuxka]

I approach her and talk. Hey there! I couldn't help but notice you looking pretty :) If I don't get maced or she walks away, we have a chat.

[LiamJHayden]

I'm just myself. I don't want her to like me over an illusion.

[bananathunder]

chicken wings or tacos always work on me lol

[shades777]

become a tasty meal, a fancy car, a bundle of money, or a pretty face

[Anonymous]

Approach the girl, ask for her name, ask for her number.


Ask her on a date, lovebomb her


After the lovebombing gaslight her

[BunBun369]

Candy and a net 🤷🏽‍♀️

[BunBun369]

Whoa that kinda made me sound like a child kidnapper 🤣🤣🤦🏽‍♀️🤦🏽‍♀️

[bananathunder]

hahahaha... put some chicken wings in there for me :P

[BunBun369]

Will do 😂

[DarkWinterNights]

I think that’s generally frowned upon…

[BunBun369]

Ya 🤦🏽‍♀️ I didn't mean it that way but immediately after I clicked to post it I was like oh shit. 😂😂😂

[Billlewis]

That's easy -- just make him jealous.

[Jennz6]

BJ Most of the time

[Ironic_Method]

You are a dangerous woman.

[Pacquet]

I spread my feathers and do a little dance

[Subflics]

Hypnotize with the eyes

[Wise4myage]

A good sense of humor has worked for me.

[scooogy]

Always ordering one on amorezone. com

[anonmay1]

Having boundaries and standards.

[whistlingwh0res]

I usually show my ass

[eagle1951]

i honestly have no idea these days.

[Anonymous]

Looking hot