How to let a guy down easy?

[Anonymous]

I met this guy several weeks ago and he is very nice but he has no job and no car to pursue further the relationship he is in his 30s and lives back with his parents. I do not think it will work out because we are on two different levels of life i am 25. He is finishing college but i just think it’s going to take him a long time to get where he needs to be and i just don’t think dating is one of them right now. I rather for him to focus on his career and for us to be friends. He had places and cars in the past but lost the do to relationships i believe. He has no kids (thank God) but he is very behind in life. Am i being shallow?

Updates

1 y

I just do not want to be stuck paying for stuff if we start a relationship

[Anonymous]

Yes and no. Everything you mentioned is relevant. But about 10 years. From now when you lose your job, are unemployed. And he's done with school and has a job. Is he all of a sudden viable then?

Yes this is a hypothetical. But I'm trying to get you to not look at life so much as a snapshot. Because it's going to be a long life and a lot of of things are going to happen a long the a way outside of your control. The ONLY thing that should be relevant when considering a partner is thier character, whether you believe them capable of achieving what you'd like from your partner. Because I'm going to tell you right now that life does not go according to plan. But a man with character will never stop rising to the challenge whatever is thrown at him. That is the type of person that you want to be with.

[slatyb]

It's not your job to let him down easy. Just be direct and say thanks but I don't think it would work, or feel free to tell him anything at all to make him go away. Tell him you are in a relationship, that you aren't looking for a relationship, whatever.

[Staximus]

Don't do the bum unless you're a rich and can afford a pet bum

[Staximus]

I meant don't date a bum unless you're rich and can afford a pet bum

[Staximus]

Not having a job and not having a car is like high school shit

[Staximus]

Tell him you're not his mom and not there to pay for everything. Tell him he can take you out on a date when he gets a car and a job.

[Asker]

Lol thanks

[PaleDale]

Just tell him you want to take things easy for now.