Should people just date the person that likes them more than they like them?

[Anonymous]

Let’s say you had a friend that people said that he or she liked you for YEARS but you’re too blind to see it? Plus they always ask you to every dance or dates but you keep rejecting them and go for someone that isn’t right for you.

Or when your past partner wasn’t right for you and people warn you about them.
Them cute guys I had a crush on were jerks and I’ve had boyfriends but they ended up cheating on me or leave me for prettier, thinner or more attractive/fit women. Guys that like me aren’t the best looking but not ugly. I’m a big girl at 5’9 and 222lbs, plus size and I attract short thin or chubby guys or bigger guys that are my height or whatever.
My parents told me I should give my guy friend a chance and he’s liked me for YEARS and he’s still likes me. I didn’t think he did but my parents and even my friends and family can tell. My brother said even though he isn’t then best looking guy (chubby and tall, out of shape), he is way better than those loser good looking boyfriends that used me and only to humiliate. My guy friend always stood by my side, he never abandoned me at the dance, he treats me so good and he may be a bit tough but he really ADORES me but I keep shutting him down. He always sat next to me more than other girls. Hello! We’re friends! My dad purposely asked him if he has a girlfriend and maybe consider asking me out. Dad really! So my feelings don’t matter? We’re 26 now.

[SteveSmith1985]

I can give you some emphatic advice. No. Absolutely not.

That is not going to make anybody happy. If he is a good friend, then this would be the worst thing to do for both of you.

First of all, for him. Let's say he is in love with you. He doesn't want to be with you. He wants you to feel the same way. That's what will make his dream come true. You settling for him will not make him happy. He is looking for the very feeling you're saying you don't have for him.

On the other hand, this guy sounds like a solid friend. I had a lot of close female friends at various points. I know how rare it is for a girl to have a solid guy for a friend.

You would be calling yourself his girlfriend, but then not have the feelings required to make him happy. You can't fake feelings. He'll know that something is off if you don't feel the same way. He will spend the entire relationship wondering why he doesn't feel... quite right. (because it's not)

Then inevitably you break up after 2 weeks or 2 years. Or worse of all, you cheat on him when the guy you actually have feelings for comes along.

EIther way, you would be making him more unhappy than happy. I would guess, he would tell you so. He doesn't want you to settle for him. He wants you to fell the same way.

It's not fair to you.

When did you decide that you didn't deserve the kind of relationship you're looking for? This is not it. You know it. Why are your deciding to settle? I hope you don't. I don't think you'll be happy doing so.

This seems almost cruel. It's like tricking someone into believing you care for them in a way you don't.

And you will lose a guy that you are going to want to keep as a friend. Unless, you fee differently. The right thing to do here, is to not get with him, if you don't have the feelings.

It's kind of a nightmare. Put the shoe on the other foot.

Don't

🙂

[Summeroflove]

Feelings should be mutual as well as people should be honest with one another with where they stand. Such as if someone expresses being in love but the other just isn’t there yet it needs to be communicated in a kind way.

It really isn’t fair to the other person for someone to string them along just for the sake of being in a relationship until they can discard them for someone else. I would assume you don’t like it when people do they to you.

I think you shouldn’t do the same thing to someone that other people have done to you. Sure, give him a chance and see where it goes. If you’re just not feeling it let him down easy as well as be honest where he stands. DO NOT…. Do what others have done to you or else you’re as bad as they are.

[Nikki1989]

That is a recipe for disaster right there. Feelings should be in sync.

[jahaims]

No lol