Who wants to go on dates to discuss the things that may not be very pleasant and ruin the mood of the night. We generally find a persons dislikes along the way without having to discuss it.
No, it makes sense to be positive when meeting someone. Take you, for example- if you followed your advice, you'd instantly start talking about how much you hate white Americans. Not something that will make a good impression on anyone but the craziest leftists. Oh, wait...
But what fun would THAT be talking about problems already only on the first date? A first date shouldn't involved getting into serious topics right away. Maybe reserve that for the third or fourth date? I don't know. I guess yeah, if you wanna be practical. But I've never done this so may be it IS a good thing to do that but then, being negative right away COULD be a turn off in and off itself. But I guess it's just being realistic, not negative?
That's probably a wise idea. Everyone's always talking about their likes, but when it comes to their dislikes they're all hush hush. I think people are afraid of being judged also. And then there's a people that act like they're not into certain sexual things but really they are but they pretend they're not and judge other people for the same things that they're into because they're afraid of being judged.
I did it a girl once who had about 50 different fetishes, maybe more and she was open, but when I came to a dislikes, the only way you would know what they were was if you told her yours first, and built that level of trust, which is fine but a lot of people fear they will be judged.
From what I've seen, a lot of people will lie and say they like the same things and pretend to have the same hobbies as the person they're crushing on, just so that person will date them. If you have nothing in common but attraction, that relationship is heading down a slippery slope real fast. That's usually one of the things that breaks people up. So yeah definitely likes and just likes are both important when meeting someone for the first time or getting someone for the first time.
Anyway the flaws someone has can influenced by context. Take a recovering alcoholic for instance. This person might of truly nailed the demon in a coffin and be an otherwise decent person. But if they admit that on a date most people will assume the worst just avoid trouble.
Anyway this is like interviewing someone who has a criminal record for a job. Some people are career criminals and are dangerous pathological liars. Others made a one time mistake and are truly repentant about it. They would make otherwise good employees.
But unfortunately some companies won’t hire any felons period. No matter if it was a violent crime or not. They just won’t take the chance but they can ultimately lose out on talent.
Same with people during the dating process. Women especially “test” during the early stages and are looking for a reason to disqualify men. Sometimes it’s the right decision. But other times they might of self sabotaged a good opportunity because they didn’t take the time to see the guy’s qualities (which can outweigh his flaws).
Very few people likes whiners and complainers. It's unattractive. This applies in everything - you go to an interview & whine/complain you're NOT getting a second interview even if your qualifications blow your competition out of the water.
Most people think whiners & complainers do not have good personalities. The most typical ideology that goes with complainers is you can't cope, that you hold pointless grudges, that you have anger issues, etc. None of which is appealing either.
.
And why the old saying "misery loves company" was coined - because a whiner & complainer attracts other "miserable personality" people in work, life & as partners.
So NOOOOO it is NOT a good idea.
Because by the end of the date - if the other person hasn't left early - the other person is gonna be running away unless they likewise have a "miserable" personality.
What? You want to start out a relationship on all negatives? At that rate the people will ghost you after the first date. Negatives can come later, preferably when you have gotten your foot in the door and they see the positives first. Then later on the negatives won't be the main focus, at least if they are not overwhelming. Hmmm, how can a person be overwhelmed, but never underwhelmed?
I'm assuming this is someone new? This would be borderline complaining, and so early on i don't think the relationship would be fun in the long run. Could also show that she has unresolved issues with a past boyfriend.
I wouldn't focus too much on what I hate on a date. It can dampen the mood. I'm definitely more interested in what my partner likes; how can I make her happy? I can't make her happy only knowing what she hates lol.
A lot of people do, the good thing about not making it the norm is you get to steer the conversation where you want it, you get to hear the persons take wether she see’s things as a glass half full or half empty. Letting people know everything you dislike 👎 makes you seem like a party pooper. You can add some into the mix but I want to see the cool side of you, what makes you fun and charming. ✌️
Yes because it's easier to admit you hate something and people like to bond over dislikes. It opens you up as a real person not just someone who's trying to impress.
lying leads to nothing. i think this is practical and realistic because that's the purpose of getting to know unless yoy just wanna fuck and not really into relationship. the good thing about thid is yoy already know what to expect on the perdon. i did this with my ex because i don't want him to think i'm always nice. actually what i want to know is what makes them mad. i wanna see when they're mad. i think i'm very realist when it comes to relationships
Thinking this over, I think it's a brillant idea! People who treat other people badly, especially servers, people who hate animals (any animals), too much makeup, ...
I think it would be a fun question, issue is talking about things you dislike brings in a lot of negativity and can make you seem like a horrible person
I think it is important to ask any date both their likes and their dislikes, that is part of the process of getting to know that person and finding out if you are compatible together.
Ask a woman direct questions to get direct information about her likes and dislikes that you're already supposed to automatically know? Of course not! Didn't you get the memorandum that only exists in her head? You're a terrible guy and a lousy significant other.
Going into a long term commitment like marriage, yes that is the more important thing to clear up before making any decisions. You will DEFINITELY get a more honest, clear and useful answer to "what are your pet peeves?" than "what do you like?" (or " what turns you on?" ... putting it here because that is all the braincells of GAGers can think of).
A little bit of both would make sense. If you're both trying to figure each other out, why not ask questions from one end of the spectrum to the other that shows interest and can seem interesting to that person at the same time?
I mean you should've added a 3rd voting option in the middle. Because you both should know both. Goods and bads. But if you only tell her what you don't like the mood will be too negative for her to like you
Its been shut down, at least that was what i discovered googling it, its not on the android store and several articles report it shut down after only 2 years
Yes, I see your point and I think it's somewhat valid, but I would be concerned about the date turning into a negativity experience with some individuals.
No, but yes? I'd first direct my/our attention to positive things. It's often also about how we look at things. Example: instead of saying 'I hate KFC' I could also say 'I prefer my food edible'.
I don’t know… ideally if it’s a good date then the conversation will just flow organically, and there won’t be any concern of what you or them is or isn’t focusing on.
No bc people lie all the time to get what they want. everything comes out on it own if you want to learn things about someone just have natural conversations.
You need to focus on positives and not negatives. The disliked things will come out slowly in their own time. If you want to have a goodndate and good future dates, learn what they like.
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