In a relationship is it okay if one person likes the other more?

[pancakesaremylife]

Okay, so there is this guy. I like him, but I'm not crazy about him. I genuinely do like him, but I can tell he likes me a lot more than I like him. I like him as a person, and I like the way he treats me. But, I know he has the "drug" thing going on way more for me than I do for him. What is y'all's take on this? Is it okay for one person to like the other a good bit more if both parties like each other? I'm relatively new to the dating world and all, and I don't want to hurt him in some way as I do like him, but I just have never had this situation occur before.

It's fine to have unequal amounts of attraction, it will always happen

It's not good to have one person like the other more ever

N/A / other (I'll explain my view below)

[BearsAnswers]

It's really common in the early stages of a relationship. It will also flare up again when NRE (new relationship energy) fades, because it will usually fade for one person before it fades for the other.

But the goal would be to have those NRE-fuelled bumps and bruises normalize into both partners eventually feeling real, genuine love for one an other as the relationship matures. If both people don't love each other once the NRE fades, then the relationship could be in some trouble.

So... yes, it's ok in the beginning, and during the fading of the 'honeymoon' phase. But no, it's not ok long-term. After you've been together 5 years, for example, you should both be on the same page.

[pancakesaremylife]

You make a very good point. I had not thought about it that way and it makes complete sense. Thank you!

[BearsAnswers]

You're welcome. I hope things work out well for you :)

[xxxHolicxxx]

It can happen. For me it happened when I started dating a guy, but then I started liking him more. So there can be shifts. I think that it will even out eventually, you find your balance as a couple. But yeah, it takes time. If you still have doubts later or it puts you off that he likes you more, you can always break up with him.

[RationalLioness]

I think there has to be a balance. How to achieve it may take time. But someone who is head over heels devoted might be upset with some things that another person who "like likes" them isn't.

It also makes the other person feel a bit of validation and not like a chump (I love her, but she only likes me sort of thing).