Is he leading me on?

[WinCx3d]

The guy I’m seeing says i can come see him whenever i want and that he misses me but when i try to see him after he gets off at 10:20 pm he doesn’t answer his phone. And i keep questioning him about it and he says he tries to stay up but he keeps going to sleep. He gets off at 10:20 so I’ll try to come see him about an hour after he gets off to give him time to get home and take a shower but when i text and call him he doesn’t respond and the next day says he was tired etc this has happened 4 different times

[SteveSmith1985]

Wow. Ok. I don't think he's leading you on... or if he is, he's going about it in a strange way.

I'm having trouble making much sense of this guy.

You are absolutely right to think something is wrong here. There is no good reason you weren't able to meet. You put in the effort required to time-it to make sure you could.

There is no good reason that this has happened to you 4 different times.

I don't think this guy has malicious intentions or anything. I don't know what his deal is

(that's unusual for me. I'm usually pretty good at these types of questions)

I can give you advice, even if I can't understand this guy.

You have gone above and beyond to make an effort to see this guy, after he's done work at 10:20pm.

You question him about the missed meeting. And he was too tired and fell asleep.

This happened 3 more times. THREE more times.

You need to be done. Done!

Fuck this bullshit.

You have tried. You put in effort to come in the right window of time. You gave him a 2nd, 3rd and even 4th chance.

This guy is too tired to bother meeting the pretty girl (I'm assuming) who wants to spend time with him.

You need to find a better guy. A guy who appreciates spending time with you. A guy who wouldn't fall asleep on you (within an hour) 4 times.

If this guy isn't going to respect you enough to be better. He is not worth it. You are better than continuing to chase this idiot.

I don't know his deal, but I know you need to be done.

Don't go back for a fifth attempt. It's almost insulting at this point.

Fuck this guy. This guy sucks. Let him get his sleep. Find a guy who likes you enough to stay awake a while; to spend time with you.

Sorry. I know it's not what you want to hear. It's true though.

[WinCx3d]

So he’s not leading me on?

[SteveSmith1985]

It depends on what you mean by leading you on I guess. He's obviously making you think he's still more interested than he is. But I don't think he's doing so with some master plan behind it. It's just a guy who doesn't respect you enough to not (basically) stand-you-up 4 times. But also keeps assuring you that he does want to see you.

What exactly are you worried he might be doing? (leading you on)

[WinCx3d]

He doesn’t respect my time

[SteveSmith1985]

He clearly doesn't. That's exactly (well partly. I extend it to feel like he's not respecting YOU). But if you are worried he doesn't respect your time. You are right. He doesn't.

[Summeroflove]

Being busy is understandable as well as having boundaries about what time someone can call. But if someone’s making zero effort to find time you can just break things off. It’s possible he’s either leading you on or has lost interest but is too cowardly to say that. As well as wanting someone on the back burner as well as getting supply n

[WinCx3d]

I think I’m getting less on but I don't know he thinks i overthink so I don't know

[Summeroflove]

We’ll talk to him about it and see what he has to sah

[DishLady]

"Whenever you want" is not a carte blanche to insist on pouncing on him as soon as he gets off work. You're being rather unreasonable in my opinion. The guy works and is exhausted by that hour. You should be able to see that. Now you're apparently pestering him by doing this four times? Are you sure you're seeing one another? Seems like you're specifically NOT seeing one another bc you're pestering and he's tired.

Ask him when his DAY OFF is. Ask him what day/time are better FOR HIM. And ask him to initiate from now on since you've reached out several times and he always seems too tired/busy to see you. THEN SIT TIGHT and DO NOT contact him again. If he's interested he will initiate.

[WinCx3d]

I told him I’d rather him initiate when we see each other and he said “i
Don’t care when you come you can come whenever” he isn’t giving me a straight answer

[Booboolove69]

He doesn’t care about you that’s why
You’re not a priority to him

[Med_guy1978]

If he really wanted to see you he would make it happen. If he tried to let you go easy and say hey like I'm tired after work and I can't see you, it would be understandable but to lead you on and go cold on you... He's just playing you around. Like the other guy said, pick him up or turn up at his door when he gets home 🏡 if he still shakes you off, forget him. Doesn't deserve your attention or time.

[WinCx3d]

What is he gaining by doing that

[Med_guy1978]

You're crazy about him, can't get him out of your mind. He's got you in the palm of his hand for the taking on request. If nothing else, collecting admirers... Girls do it more.

[Shiprex]

Could be he's tired and that he's in a routine. Could you meet him at his work and head back with him then there's no sleeping on the job and letting you keep waiting?

[Sevenpointfive]

does he trust you? he should let you meetup at the same time so you can shower together, then make love and eat after. it's like a reverse date that escalates a relationship. yes i made it up.

[Jamie05rhs]

Why do you wait an hour after he gets off from work? That's dumb. You're wasting time. Just come over to his house immediately.

[WinCx3d]

Because i want to make sure he’s settled in

[Jamie05rhs]

That's your mistake. Once he settles in, he's settled in. He doesn't need you anymore.

[shortster]

Have you tried seeing him on a weekend or in the morning before work? If he is asleep by midnight he should be up by 8:30 am.

[WinCx3d]

I work mornings

[WinCx3d]

But I’ve came to his house at midnight a lot of times

[shortster]

Weekends?

[WinCx3d]

I’ve came over weekends before too

[WinCx3d]

So does that mean he’s leading me on

[shortster]

No, you just might not have compatible schedules.

[WinCx3d]

But I’ve seen him at midnight before but the last week he’s sleep at midnight?

[shortster]

Sometimes you get off work and you are tired. And other times you stay awake for hours.

[WinCx3d]

It’s been a week?

[RedInnocent69]

Pick him up and do him in the car outside work

[Anonymous]

Yep. Everything is all about you.

[WinCx3d]

What do you mean by that?

[PeterLegg91]

Just go round and see him SURPRISE HIM

[WinCx3d]

Isn’t that rude?

[PeterLegg91]

No I mean like let him 40 to get home and be indoors then just go round and see him :)

[WinCx3d]

Go see him without asking?

[PeterLegg91]

Yes :)