I'm a 23F virgin in all the senses. How can I get myself out there and keep them interested?

[Anonymous]

I have gone on 2 dates throughout the years and I only kissed one of them multiple times. But I freaked out and never talked to him again. I am currently on hinge and I try to keep conversations going, hopefully get a date out of any of them but they stop answering or they never want to keep conversations going. What can I do?

[SteveSmith1985]

Dating is hard. For everybody. It really is.

I end up chatting with women a lot about this. I've become friends with some on here, and been there for lengthy periods of time to witness second-hand how hard it is. I've seen beautiful successful women who had great personalities struggle with this. It's not you. (not from the little I know about you from this question anyway)

It doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong. You aren't failing to get yourself out there (that I can see here anyway).

It's not uncommon for a chat to fizzle out before anyone wants a date. That just means they weren't compatible matches.

Usually, women want to chat with a guy for a while, and feel him out before going on a date. Not always, but usually. It's better that the text conversation fizzle out and die... rather than the face-to-face conversation if you end up on a bad date. Also, to make sure the guy is... not... weird. There are some legitimately messed up guys out there. You want to do what you can to make sure you dont' get any weird vibes before meeting.

So the fact that you're 23 and a virgin in every sense means that you need to navigate things a bit differently.

It depends where you're coming from in being inexperienced.

If you're someone who has made a choice to save your virginity (for whatever reason)

Then I would assume that you are not looking to jump into bed with someone anytime soon. You do not want a guy going on a 5th or 6th date thinking he'll have sex with you. That's not where you're coming from. You know that you want to take it slow (again, I'm assuming).

If that's the case, then you need to be pretty up-front about that. I don't mean put "virgin" on your profile. I mean more... when you get to a first date, or first kiss.

You will be working on a timeline (sexually) that will not match-up with the "standard" or "default' timeline most people will be presuming. That's totally fine. No problem. But you do need to let a guy know that you will need him to move slow. Then you give him some rough idea of what "slow" means (however you define it)

Some guys will have a problem taking it slow. That's ok. You don't want those guys anyway. Many guys would be willing to take it slow, but you need to let guys know what they're to expect. So this will make your selection of guys who work out a smaller pool. But it's a good quick way to weed out guys who aren't willing to go at your pace (don't ever date a guy who isn't willing to respect the pace you're comfortable with).

or

Maybe this isn't your situation at all.

Maybe you hate being a virgin, grew up in a convent, and are just sex-starved; and on the hunt for some man-meat

(... get your mind outta the gutter. I didn't mean it like that!).

If that's the case, then all you can hope for is a better texter next time (some guys are just really bad at texting)

If you tell me more details I can give you a better answer.

🙂

[Asker]

Its definitely the first. Thank you so much for your advice. I appreciate it, truly. I will take it into consideration!!!

[SteveSmith1985]

I figured you were probably the first. You're quite welcome. Good luck!

[ohsheeT]

Well what ever it is it's right in front of you. . or you have to have a little more insite to it.. it's something within or shyness or he will want to do something and your going to say dude stop. And you dont want to deal with that. But what ever it is it it's real and it's messing with you. .. so let's figure it out

[Kelley1]

Basically, it is a matter of looks. You can do no wrong if you look like this girl:

Otherwise, if you believe you are doing well, guys don't hang around unless they are getting sex. Even then, it is hit and miss. If a guy believes he is doing well, he will hang around unless you mistreat him. Even then, he might unless you close the door.

[Asker]

Its a sad world out here girl😪

[Kelley1]

Girls in the top twenty percent in look have it pretty good. However, below that, it is increasingly more problematic. Movies and our media have indoctrinated men to believe they deserve a pretty girl. Therefore, even if they are average, they will do without rather than accept girls who don't meet their unrealistic beauty standards.

[Anonymous]

Well don’t do what you did to the other dude and ghost them cuz nobody will take you seriously that way. you should have apologized to the guy you ghosted.

[Asker]

I didn't ghost him per say. I told him that i just didn't think we would work out😫

[Opinion Owner]

Oh well that’s sad but not terrible

[Opinion Owner]

thanks for mho

[Berethor]

You not kiss virgin, if you not anonymous then maybe you would found someone here.

https://allthetropes.org/wiki/Sacred_First_Kiss

[Pterodon]

Be patient. You just haven’t bumped into him yet

[Asker]

I feel like a sitting suck though. I work all the time and there's no opportunity to meet peopel through my job

[Pterodon]

It’ll be the least likeliest of places

[Shiprex]

If you can meet someone organically like at a gym, club or hobby activity you've probably got more chance of having a meaningful and thus happier time of it.

[trumpetplayerforlife]

Honestly not the answer for everyone but for me I picked a man at 18 and just got it over with lol

[jahaims]

Most people are low quality. You have to play the numbers game and dig through the weeds. Most guys are only going to want pussy

[ChicoFromThe305]

Go for people with less options I guess

[Anonymous]

I'm double your age and still a virgin.