Is it bad to tell a guy you’re attracted too early on? will it make him run in the other direction. You often tell hear that doing this can have a negative effect, but at the same a girl might feel those feelings, so what are you supposed to do. Does it come across as too needy?
If you are smoking hot, no. If you are average looking and chasing a guy that is gonna attract other girls due to his looks (in other words perhaps a tiny bit out of your league but not way out but still out) then yes. He will get annoyed quickly and the novelty of you will wear off. Guys like bitches to some extent but only when they show him their sweet side enough to keep him chasing you... If you're always a bitch then that won't work for you... but a good guy knows that women are emotional creatures and that irrational behavior is part of the way that women test guys if they are keepers or not (by seeing if they can handle the craziness with calmness and patience). Girls do this instinctively and most don't even realize they are doing it. If a guy has knowledge of this ahead of time he's more likely to have a successful relationship with a woman. But to get back on track... DON'T OVER COMPLIMENT A GUY... just once in a while and be sincere and authentic. We know desperation and we know when it's too much. Desperation makes dicks go soft. Truth. )
Well not being egotistical but yes I have been told I’m hot. He is also really good looking but at times seems a bit awestruck by me, as in a bit stunned when talking,
I guess I thought to tell him, because I don’t want him to think I’m not, but yes I know what you mean, being too keen or full on can be a turn off.
I would be flattered and not run away , I honestly love girls’ that are up front and honest with me compared to a girl that isn’t. Because I am an honest guy , I don’t play games when it comes to a girl that I find absolutely beautiful to my eyes. I want her the same way I hope she wants me , hoping her and I have a great connection band chemistry together , if she is lying to me? Oh well that’s her problem not mine , so that’s something she has to figure out on her own , I sadly meet lying girls’ more than I meet honest girls’ these days. If I find out she is lying? Oh well it was nice knowing you for that short period of time.
Do you want someone who makes huge negative assumptions anytime you are honest? Would you do the same?
I think it’s good to weed out hysterical people by being honest with them. If you are calm and honest and people freak out, you saved yourself some potentially wasted time.
that’s my opinion. I don’t care if someone will react badly to a logical action ( I e which like a person and tell them to see if there’s any point in not moving in which would be logical if there’s no interest) bc I don’t want to cater to their presumptuous and negative... It will be a headache to get entangled, so I’m glad to know in advance.
also this is strange, if you are already dating how is it too much to say you are attracted 😂
😂 I don’t know why people keep telling you that you “only need to tell them once and “ don’t go overboard”.
You very clearly just said it’s OK to tell somebody if you think they’re attractive.
It’s such an extraordinarily minuscule action in the context that you provided, a person has to seriously reach so hard and so far to find a problem with this, that it is honestly a bit disturbing that this causes such a strong reaction in people- just from a basic human perspective.
I would hope that whoever you’re on a date with or going to be on a date with -if it works out that way- would be able to handle a very basic Statement such as “you are attracted to them” when that would be ostensibly _literally_ why you guys are spending time together.
So I’m still on the side of —yeah do something simple and honest like that to make sure you’re not dealing with a hysterical person that cannot handle human emotion on even the most minute scale.🤏🏻
You really don’t need to surround yourself with people that are going to make you feel like your ability to communicate directly is some kind of character, flaw, or psychological impairment. You really really seriously do not need that and I would consciously avoid putting yourself into situations like that.. avoid dedicating your time to people that are going to react in ways that are just ridiculous and that means if you find yourself worrying about things like this, you’re not spending time with the right people.
Your question about what you should’ve shouldn’t say to a guy is really a question for yourself about why you’d want the company of people that are going to make you feel they need to do your own character.
There are absolutely people in the world that will want you to feel like 💩 pls do not do the work for them in advance. It is not a respectful way to treat yourself and it will also embolden them to treat other people this way. The fewer people that put up with stuff like this, the less people who behave this way are going to feel comfortable doing it because it won’t get the results and they might actually at some point in their life reflect.. maybe. maybe not.
There’s a lot of misery in the world and a lot of people don’t even have the time health or ability to spend a relaxing hour or two or three with a person that they might have mutual interest in.. in relative terms it’s a privilege were lucky to have and for any person to want to turn that into something miserable. It’s it’s really pathological in my opinion
Good luck!! it seems really rough out there, clinically speaking. 🫥
Well… no, if you’re sure he likes you as well. But some guys are just messing with a gal and so it’s very awkward to declare yourself then hear that they’re not “into” you.
Opinion
43Opinion
I think it's OK Something like cause you're looking deep into his eyes to say you're a very interesting Handsome man.
And just leave it right there .. But it also depends on what type of guy he. Is I mean, he could take that as she wants me. I want her and.
One thing leads to another. But do it when you feel like you want to do it.. There's nothing wrong with that
Not necessarily. A lot of guys don't realize how much a woman actually likes him,
No, just don't go overboard or get weird with it.
That's the thing a lot of women get wrong about confessing feelings for guys early on. The part that scares men off isn't the fact you told us about your feelings. It's that a lot of women get obsessive, forceful and weird once they develop feelings.
Thanks for this, that’s great. Yeah makes sense. When you say forceful, obsessive what kind of things do they do that’s off putting?
Sure thing! I'm happy to help.
Umm... lots of jealous and controlling behavior. A lot of neediness. A lot of pushy but sweet gestures/gifts/etc.. A lot of forcing herself into activities we're doing. I've had women (like adult, female humans lol) get super comfortable telling me who I'm allowed to speak to. And in other cases, force themselves into my conversations to make it super awkward for women they don't like to talk with me.
Stuff like that.
Oh I see, yeah good to know. Yeah I can imagine that would be very off putting.
I imagine it's the kind of thing that the women don't even realize they're doing. It's really common though.
Yeah I can imagine, I guess sometimes they just get a bit too keen lol
-Nice gestures- are only awkward if you don’t like someone or don’t like yourself. There’s nothing objectively creepy about nice gestures. There are a lot of people that can not deal with their or others affection but that’s another topic.
-Neediness-.. this is another meaningless nebulous term that again means mismatch or inability / unwillingness to communicate. I e 👇🏻 :
“ I don’t like thus person but I want something from them so rather than being honest with myself I will endure and project my discomfort onto them hoping they change who they are long enough for me to get what I want”
Or
“I can’t handle my emotions and I can’t communicate honestly with myself or otters, so projection time”
Or
“Something is being done that is making me misunderstand behavior or making me uncomfortable and if I communicated this honestly we can come to a greater understanding or decide we are not a good match. I don’t want to deal with any kind of accountability so I solve the problem with projection and blame.”
This is not about women or men or “kinds of people.” It’s about an mis match. Or inability and unwillingness to communicate. People who genuinely like each other and are emotionally healthy do not get scared by gestures. If something is off they can communicate that respectfully.
As far as controlling… this is vague but if it’s objectively controlling, this person is not ready for a relationship. Nothing to do with timing.
Too early or otherwise.
There is nothing that can not be solved by communication. Either bc it allows people to address and solve the pronoun or decide there is an mis match she part ways why h again, solves the problem.
Women also will say guys come off as needy or creepy or weird and it’s the same exact issue as the one you describe. It really makes me wonder what it is that is such a relief for people to avoid communication trust they prefer to leave themselves in emotionally repellent situations develop contempt for their counter parts.
I guess it is scary for many to confront solitude.
@VIVANT I generally agree with that, but I think it's absolutely a "kind of people" issue. I think communication is scary for so many people because they haven't taken time to identify and actually process their feelings.
If you feel something that you don't really understand and you try explaining it to another person, you might end up uncovering a bunch of other stuff that you weren't expecting to uncover. That can get really scary really fast.
m In my experience, anything told, in any direction, during the teenage years can be interpreted in a bad way. At your age range though, everyone, in general, was more relaxed and way less judgy so there's that. Nothing special, it's how maturity works.
So I wouldn't fear coming across needy, in your age range, by just declaring you're attracted. I would see high chances that it comes across as wholesome. Unless stumbling upon someone not mature enough, emotionally speaking, or very inexperienced and caught off-guard?
I don’t see anything wrong with it, other than I thought the whole reason that the date was agreed upon is because we’re already mutually attracted to each other. Like that’s WHY there’s a date, that part doesn’t need any work, it’s if our personalities mesh on top of that.
Maybe I just still don’t understand women after all these years, lmao, but for men, the initial interest IS the admission of attraction, physically anyway. I’ve never gone out with a woman with the feelings of “I’m not into her yet, but maybe she’ll grow on me.” It’s “nice…found one I’m attracted to who said “yes”, let’s try not to screw this up on my end via personality or actions.”, haha
telling him you are attracted to him shouldn't have any negative effect...
but telling him you are in love with him, when you know each other not enough to develop a proper infatuation... definitely can have a negative effect... :D
i think guys always like that. wait what guy wouldn't like that? haha. even if a girl that isn't my type or isn't necesarily “deemed” attractive tells me that im still like oh ok cool thank you. i mean i dunno i guess if some guy is hot but mean maybe hed bellitle you. but then you know he isn't dating material ! haha
Thanks for this, yeah good to know. If he was really good looking why do you reckon he could belittle you, because he knows it or he has a big ego anyway?
Attraction and feelings are different.
I let my current partner know I was attracted to him within a month. Later he said he was worried about one of us catching feelings. I told him "Bro I'll let you know if I catch feelings and we can go from there."
Honest us super important tho. If he can't handle that you're attracted to him and that the attraction could lead to feelings then he maybe wasn't planning on sticking around?
It doesn't have to be a big deal. There are lots of ways to tell him you're attracted to him. Touch his arm when you are speaking to him. Smile into his eyes. Every time you compliment him about something it says "attraction". When you reciprocate interest by arranging something to do together, it says "attraction". Lots of ways.
No it's not bad it's expected and will make him perhaps be more in to you and thus see the reciprocation you're birnging.
Why do you think telling him telling him, might potentially make him like you more?
Most guys would want to hear that :) I know I don't wanna be stringed along
Great thanks for this. Yes that how I also feel, I’d rather know.
Mmm and vice versa right if a guy liked you you'd want to know they found you pretty or hot etc lol 😆😜
Yes 💯
Have you found Mr Right yet? Or the Prince? 👑💖✨
I think so, just see how it goes, 🤣
Can I ask a personal question? ❓
Yes sure
Do you have pubic hair preferences for you or partner, if you are sexually active or dating? :) or private message
Hmm I say Brazilian for me but not for a guy no preference.
Lol would your eyes widen if he was smooth razor smooth down himself? 😝🤭😝🤭👀👀👀😈 The work of the devil
lol yes!
In a good way or bad way? 🙃 👀 Let's use a more female eye 👁️👁️
For me in a bad way. I think men should just be men, it shows their masculinity, but maybe it’s a new trend, so maybe some girls like it,
Oh okay 👌🏻👍🏻 I'll trail off here then as a modern man at 31 who's always preferred myself smooth like my chin on my ideal woman from her armpits to her - 😋 anyways look each to preferences - some folks want a man with a hairy chest - uh uh
No, it's not. Be honest about your feelings, but don't make them his responsibility.
Thanks, good to know. When you say don’t make them his responsibility how do you mean? Don’t pressure him?
Why play games? I used to hate these games. Girls would play hard to get or give mixed signals. After a while I just got so sick of it thst when some girl would do thst I would just not call her anymore.
You have to stop being afraid of a man running away, let him run if he’s not well intended. In fact thank god if they run after you ask even some semblance of a serious question, because that’s how you know he wasn’t serious in the first place and you won’t waste or invest any more time on a lost cause. Sure can keep walking on eggshells if you want since that fear of losing is so great but a woman who also knows she is the prize wouldn’t fear that.
Excellent advice!
It depends I believe how far you're willing to go with him. Because if you let him know that you're attracted to him in a sexual way, yet you're not ready for intercourse that's kind of like teasing. It depends on how fast you want the relationship to progress after you say that. But no I don't think it's necessarily wrong to let a guy know early on that you are physically attracted just be ready for him to try to push it faster.
If you are on the date I would assume you are attracted to the person. Who goes on a date with someone they aren't attracted to
Sorry I wrote date, but I didn’t mean that, we are not at the dating stage, we are friends in a group,
Telling him is not a problem, but opening your legs for him isn't smart if you want to find out that his intentions are the right ones.
I don’t think it’s bad at all. If a woman tells me that, I would probably think she wants to fuck me.
Thanks,, why because she said she’s attracted to him, would you think it was a come on?
Why would that be bad? I can only see good things coming from that.
If he thinks you’re too keen too soon. Thanks
Again, why would that be bad?
Yeah I guess, if he finds that off putting.
Not sure how that could possibly be off putting. Knowing a woman loves you.
Aw thanks
I've had a girl say I'm "kinda cute" but never straight up said she thinks I'm attractive or anything like that so for me personally I would really appreciate and absolutely adore a woman if she told me this on a date bug I would follow up with a little probing of her thoughts on what makes me attractive to her and if she asked the same if me I'd simply say "I think your an amazing sweet and straightforward woman and think your beyond attractive you are just beautiful"
No, Of course not not.
Those things you usually find unattractive in Guys well us Guys can find them attractive and indearing in Girls so don't listen to your emotions, Listen to him.
It would be bad to tell him you like him when you really don't.
Be honest and up front when dealing with men. Don't listen to advice from women because it will often harm relationships.
I don't understand why you would consider telling him that.
If the attraction is mutual he's going to keep pursuing you.
If it's not mutual, then telling him you're attracted to him isn't going to magically make him desire you.
It's a huge compliment. Just speaking for myself, I'd be flattered 😊
Aw thanks
It won’t make him run away, but it will make him feel complacent like he doesn’t need to work too hard to earn your affection and it might make him more likely to use you just for sex
No, attraction is just lust. Now if someone told me they loved me, I wouldn’t believe them and I would think that they think I’m naive and stupid.
Is it bad to tell a guy the reason you are on a date with him in the first place... 🤔🤔.. I can assure you that you are overthinking this.. There's nothing bad about acknowledging to a guy that you are at the very least attracted to him..
The assumption is that you're attracted to me if you go out on a date with me. Hearing it would just be a confirmation of the assumption, and a bit of an ego boost.
I can't speak for other guys in this case, but I'd love to hear it.
yah its gonna be like the happy birthday it would be good
How do you mean?
I don't think is it? When I'm attracted to a guy I tell him during the flirting stage so even before the whole dating phase (but only when it's online flirting)
please do so we don't have to guess if you are or not lol. cuts down a lot of that mystery down.
Go for it. Either he feels the same or he doesn't and he runs away. Either way, you win. You know where you stand.
Women need to understand men are very bad reading signs. So to be honest i dont see any negative effect if you say that to him. If he is attracted to you also he is more confidents to make plans with you.
You shouldn't feed a man's ego too much.
No its not bad. It doesn’t cone across as needy at all. If your both mature adults it will be a very likely lead to positive result. The people who say it always will or likely will have a negative effect are stuck playing middle school games.
It's only bad to the wrong person.
You mean if they are not nice to there’s no attraction there?
Hopefully he is able to run in any direction. Its a sign of basic mobility and agility signaling physical fitness.
I don't think so. It's better in my opinion as that way you will know either to spend time with him or not.
No I think that's the least you could do to make it crystal clear you really like him.
In my personal opinion it's not bad at all. I for one want to know how much my partner does or doesn't feel about me.
Depends how you say it
You can have some funny banter like
"Did you miss me?"
"You think I missed you? Haha"
In your body language it will be apparent you like him🙂
The right amount.
It's good as you don't go overboard about it.
It could be easy compliments, or even joking about it.
Not if I'm the guy 💀 but I don't know women and men nowadays are so upside that I don't like speaking for anyone else anymore.
Don’t say anything, let him make the first move
I think women are more put off if a guy tells them that
Of course not. What kind of silly question is this? Obviously you’re attracted to him if you are dating him?
I think you’re misinterpreting telling someone you’re attracted as telling them you’re in love
No unless you want to loose him
How do you mean?
no i’ve done it before and he just complimented me back
Why would it be hard you are trying to make it work
Not at all. Removes any and all doubt
No, he'd take it as a compliment and be flattered
It's not bad at all.
Jesus Christ fucking gen z
lol, what does that mean?
What kind of idiot question is this? What kind of idiot has a problem with a girl he's dating saying that she's attracted to him? Don't people date each other because they are attracted to each other in the first place? Do you date people you're not attracted to? Does anybody? Time to check back into reality. Your generation is a bunch of idiots who can't communicate their feelings and are emotionally retarded
Well I know what you’re saying, but I think the thing is here is that you’ve assumed we are dating, when we actually aren’t,. Its a bit more complicated than then, but we have spent time together in a friends group, but not really solo.
So I get you have a bit of angst against that generation, but in this occasion I think you might have assumed too much.
No it’s good
You only need to tell him once.
If he's rich! Go for it!
It isn't bad
Nope.
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