My bd/ex has choke in every argument. He call me a dumb bitch & im the worst woman he ever been with. How to get over him if I think he would change?

[Anonymous]

[ohsheeT]

He's proving to you every time he talks to you that he's not going to change how many more times do you need him to prove it to you. He can't change. Other wise he would be saying the things he is saying

Don't you think. I think you know he doesn't want you and your really asking what do you have to do to get him to want you...

I guarantee you every girl before to the exact same thing that you're going through. He never has change. he will never change He doesn't even make himself. Let' alone you

I can say this. I have a lot of friends that are girls.
And that 1 of them have told me when they were a little girl
That there dream guy was a guy that would hate them.. be mean to them call them names every day. Not 1 of them even has come close to saying they wanted a guy like that ever

I need to tell you something else to. Or ask you
When growing up did you mom have a guy like this. And thus is what you learned and you think it's the way life if.
NOOOOOO THATS NOT THE WAY IT IS
RUNNNNNNNN.
GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HIM BEFORE HE HURTS YOU

He is telling you he hate you and never wants to be with you take the hint and runnn

[SteveSmith1985]

No. He won't change. This guy's abusive. Are you living with him still? Is your child safe? (does he have partial custody).

This is serious.


No, he will not change. It will not get better, it may very well get worse.

Keep that man as far from you as you can. Don't leave him alone with your kid, unless he has legal custody rights. This is a dangerous guy. Women get killed by guys who do shit like this. That happens regularly.

Please take this as seriously as it deserves.

I'm really sorry you're going through this.

🙂

[Asker]

No I don't live with him but he do want joint custody of him. And I'm tired of being treat like this but somehow it's hard for me to move on

[Asker]

When I visit him recently he push me when I was holding our son and told me I don't have the rights to hold my child. And he slap me and choke me and toss me to the floor and had me coughing up blood in front of my son. And my son was watching and start crying.

[Asker]

I know I deserve better I just can't move on fast

[SteveSmith1985]

Oh you need to move on. There is no clearer sign in the world. I'm glad you don't live with him. I'm worried about your kid though. I mean, this guy clearly can't control himself when he gets angry. You should be tired of being treated like this! It's awful. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.

When you say its hard to move on, does that mean that you're emotionally hung up on him? (understandable)

or do you mean you're still considering rekindling a relationship with this man?

Look, I'm no fan of cops. I'm really not. But have you considered calling them when he's attacked you?

He's not above hurting you while your holding your son. You need to protect yourself, and your son. I don't see who can intervene aside from police in a situation like this. What are your feelings about that?

[Asker]

He said if I call the cops he would beat on me before they get there. I'm still emotionally hung on him.

[SteveSmith1985]

"He said if I call the cops he would beat on me before they get there."

That's what all abusers say. You do need to keep yourself safe. You do need to call the cops though. It can be after an attack when you're no longer with him. But don't let him scare you out of calling the cops. Get a paper trail started.

Being emotionally hung up on him is not uncommon for abused partners. It's unhealthy, and hard to untangle, but not uncommon.

You need to deal with this before he seriously injurs you or your son. I was not exagerating when I said women are killed by men like this every day. Get the police involved. It makes future abuse more costly to him as well (if the police come to arrest him for beating you for a third time, courts will start looking at things like custody and restraining orders etc.)

You do, again need to stay safe. but as soon as immediate danger is past after he's attacked you. You gotta call the cops. Seriously. I talk to any woman in an abusive relationship I come across on here. Your case scares me more than most. (in terms of your physical safety and life)

[Asker]

Would u think it makes me a bad mom to keep my son away from him because he like saying that as well

[SteveSmith1985]

No. I think keeping your son away from him as much as legally possible is being a good mother. You are a good mother for protecting your son from his father (which you shouldn't have to do. But he can't act right)

[Anonymous]

Why aren’t you protecting your son? Why are you letting him be exposed to seeing this happen to his mother? This goes beyond you wanting to stay in an abusive relationship, it’s not just you anymore. You are responsible for a whole little life and what he is raised to believe is right and wrong. Is your baby daddy the kind of man you want your son to idolize? Is that how your dad treated your mom or how you’d want your kid to treat a woman? You HAVE TO DO BETTER. For your kid!

[Opinion Owner]

What would you do if an explosive fight happened and CPS called? If your BD can hit you, what happens if your son tries to protect you one day? Then he’s the one getting beaten maybe worse! Break this cycle! Leave that man for good and file for sole custody until he gets professional help for his anger issues! He is a danger to you and your kid who needs you here, alive!

[EllyVick]

Honey, he won't change, there is no hope for men like that. The fact that the man is treating you like that shows that you need to up your standards.

[Celticwolf78]

He'll never change if he already did that don't expect him to change because he won't

[Anonymous]

Get real. Might as well shoot him.

[Anonymous]

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