Why are people calling me self centered and wasted my younger years not dating?

[MizzArtFreak89]

Why is me working on my grief selfish and people think men will leave me for younger women for being self centered for working on myself. 35 isn’t that old but it’s isn’t young anybody. This is why I don’t ask questions on here anymore because of brutal comments. I understand it’s the internet and people can say what they want but I will not put up with mean, brutal comments on here. My mom died and people are saying I’m SELFISH? And have a self centered attitude for not wanted to date? I haven’t dated since age 22. I’m just about done with this website.

[SteveSmith1985]

I'm sorry that you've experienced such cruelty from some people on here. Your situation more than most is one that people should be sensitive about. It's not a case where people are unaware of the loss you've suffered.

Anyone who would have the opinion that you're selfish, should be dismissed out-of-hand. They don't mean it. And if they do, then they have fucked up opinions and you can dismiss it as a fucked up opinion.

Your not being selfish. You know you're not. Those comments are upsetting. Undoubtedly. But they're more upsetting if you take them seriously. If you consider them to have any merrit.

If they think you're being selfish, they don't know what they're talking about. Or they have a very different idea of what selfish means. Either way, don't let them matter to you.

You do what you need to do. Let people think what they may. It doesn't mean they have a point.

I'm sorry you've had this experience.

[Shiprex]

Sorry to hear about your mother passing on and it's not you who should be feeling bad about missing them OR for working on or for yourself.

You are an authentic individual living a life for you and not these sadistic wasters trying to draw on your joy. Don't give it to them. See the precious joy in life and live it how YOU see.

You are worthy.

[Still-alive]

ignore whoever is telling you that. people grieve in their own ways.

also there's a league of people mainly dudes who are falling for and spreading this narrative that women should still be in the home raising kids and not pursuing a career or being independent. we call these dudes incels because they're just mad women aren't giving them any. so ignore them too.

[MizzArtFreak89]

I don’t know what would they’re living in but they need to get over it.

[Twalli]

You have to be realistic, though. Most guys want kids. You can't have kids for that many more years, so unless you are seeking a guy who is willing to go all the way and marry you within a few months, or a year, you have to find men who don't want kids (or those who don't want more). Personally, your age is not an issue for me, because I don't want kids. Heck, my fiancée is older than you.

[MizzArtFreak89]

We’ll I’m undecided if I want to have kids or not. So you’re saying I’ll have to date men who don’t want kids. Please? I knew someone that didn’t have kids until her late 30s

[Twalli]

You're 35, at 40 it's extremely difficult. Let's do a years game
36 meet a guy
38 marry a guy
Then you have at best 1-2 years after marriage to have kids.
My mom is double my age, 33 (my age) She's older than all of my friends moms by at least 5 years. So if you do decide to have kids abd can in your late 30s, you'll be "the old mom". Not having kids isn't a problem. My mom is one of 5, and only 3 chose to reproduce. The each had 2, so my generation has 6, but only two each.

[jahaims]

Wah wah wah listen to me I need attention to feel validated

[Fury_storm]

35 isn't that old for a GUY but it IS old for a woman

[MizzArtFreak89]

Why is it old for a woman? What the hell? People saying I’m selfish?

[Fury_storm]

because women do everything at a younger age.

it's not selfish. that makes no sense at all. but it's not a good idea.

[MizzArtFreak89]

Well guess what? I don’t give a damn.

[Fury_storm]

another bad idea. you're full of stupidity

[Anonymous]

jealous

[MizzArtFreak89]

I don’t know about jealous but I didn’t appreciate the comment I’ve gotten.