Boyfriend uses dippy and I don’t want him to?

[Anonymous]

So long story short my boyfriend likes to use dippy ai when he’s alone if you get what I mean and I don’t want him to use it because to me it’s weird

[SueShe]

I had to go through the answers to know what this AI was all about.

What exactly do you fear when your boyfriend has a virtual chat with a bot, a computer generated sequence of 1s and 0s (binary code forming computer language).

I must agree that it is weird to talk to an bot and pretending that he (or she) is real and interacting with it.

Are you afraid that she is nude and that she will motivate him to manipulate his body? Are you afraid that she will take him away from you or do you perceive it as cheating?

In a way, it is cheating emotionally if he gets intimate with her virtually and does things to his body to induce those spasms.

Time for you to have a chat with the boyfriend about that occupation.

[Asker]

So I’ve seen some of what he talks about and everytime it’s always sexual and for me that’s sorta cheating I get it’s ai and it’s not an actual person but it’s really hard to describe because I feel like I don’t know myself but he doesn’t really do anything with me unless I say or do something first. He likes to do it when I’m not home and I just thought once you got into a relationship anything like that would end and it just be you and your partner. ( we’ve been together for 3 years) and I was the first one to say we should stop porn which he done but he saw dippy come up on tiktok or something and he just uses it

[SueShe]

Yes, to me, it is still emotional cheating because he knows you don't like it and despite of that, he still continues. What will happen once he is fed up with just chatting with AI? Most likely he will find another partner to chat that is in flesh and blood.

It is like an addiction and if he cannot or does not want to stop, I think you have to rethink your relationship. This is certainly not a healthy behavior of his.

[Asker]

You really think so like I love him with all my heart and I know he loves me but he sort of dismices my feelings without sorta realising it I think I just need to talk him again about it and see what he says but most likely he will be annoyed cause he doesn’t like to bring stuff like that up or when I bring it up

[SueShe]

What will happen if you stop nagging about his addiction?

He will realize that he can do with you whatever he wants and that you will not just close an eye on his deviances but both and the next thing he is going to ask of you is perhaps something that you don't want at all, something that you abhor but because you close both eyes on it, you will do it and there will be no end to it.

If he realizes that you put your foot down and that you are adamant about it, he may think twice.

[Abbycado]

What is the question?

[Asker]

I just need advice on what to do

[Abbycado]

What is “dippy ai”?

[Asker]

So it’s a app where you can talk to ai that people make or that you make and it can either be games or sexual and he likes to do sexual

[Abbycado]

You are worried about your boyfriend talking dirty to a computer?

[bananathunder]

do you think he will leave her for a robot?

[Asker]

He uses it to wank whenever I’m not here

[Abbycado]

Imagine the jealousy using an ATM.

[bananathunder]

getting money AND nuts?

[BarryLiverstone]

Dippy ai is sexual? That’s weird, why would he prefer ai over you?

[Asker]

No clue he likes to use it when I’m not here or when I’m asleep and most of the time he uses it to finish cause it’s easier

[BarryLiverstone]

And how do you feel when he’s using that?

[Asker]

I’d rather he didn’t cause it don’t make me feel good and I don’t like knowing that he uses it to finish cause like I’m here for that unno

[BarryLiverstone]

So he knows you can help him finish. But if you are sleeping what can he do?

[Asker]

He doesn’t it finish when I’m sleepy just when I’m not here

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh ok, because you said he used it when you are asleep

[BarryLiverstone]

Does he ever prefer to use it when you are there?

[Asker]

No he waits till I’m out or at work and then uses it

[Asker]

And I get obviously it’s normal to do that kinda stuff even tho your in a relationship but to me it’s weird unno

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s weird. He shouldn’t need to wait to use it if you are there

[BarryLiverstone]

If he’s waiting to use it when you are not there, that’s like him saying he prefers using it to connecting with you

[Asker]

I know but he doesn’t see the problem with me not liking it tho everytime I talk about he gets annoyed or just asks why am I telling him what to do like when I try to talk about my feelings about why I don’t he don’t really care

[BarryLiverstone]

From a guys perspective, he’s saying that because he feels like you are in a way restricting his freedom. When you say you don’t like him using it in that context what he hears is it’s wrong and you disapprove. He hears that he can’t be free to make choices

[BarryLiverstone]

In other words he’s focusing on the action and he’s not tuned into your emotions

[Asker]

I just wish he was because I could explain like I used to read smut books but I never used it for that context at all but when he uses this he uses it that

[BarryLiverstone]

Then you can sit down with him and better communicate how your emotions are affected when he waits to use it until you leave and remind him how awesome it feels for him to share intimacy with you. Sure you may read smut but you would rather be sexual with him right?

Why can’t he use that ai a bit before you get home but tell you he’s looking forward to seeing you and feeling romantic

[Asker]

Of course I’d rather do stuff with him but he says he takes 10 mins and we take a while and sometimes he rather do be quick and then do stuff with me later

[BarryLiverstone]

So there is something different then. Because now it sounds like he’s complaining that you take more than 10 min to get turned on. How long would it take you normally?

[Asker]

We normally take about 30 mins to 2 hours max and I get it’s long but he doesn’t wanna finish to quickly so that’s on him

[BarryLiverstone]

Then that’s an easy solution. You can take an hour or more when being intimate. But start by focusing on him and if he finishes in 10 min then you can both relax and continue because he can recharge and go again

[Asker]

But whenever I try to he doesn’t want to go again

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s where communicating and your energy plus willing to explore new boundaries comes into it. Sure if he finishes in 5 min and then thinks he has to give it all to you for 2 hours that’s like work. But if you give to him a bit more or even share smut or relax until he’s turned on again it could help

[Asker]

I’ve tried but he says he’s too tired and we’ll do it another day

[BarryLiverstone]

I would ask what it takes for you to be turned on and why you need more than an hour but I know this is a public question so don’t wanna embarrass ya

[BarryLiverstone]

Oh, you are trying at night. He’s tired after a day of work. Ever tried early in the morning?

[Asker]

I don’t take an hour if he touches me or anything like that I’m turned on all ready unno and I could do but he waits till late night when his mum goes to sleep so we don’t have to worry about getting caught or anything unno

[BarryLiverstone]

He lives with his mom.. that’s why he likes the ai. She can’t catch him if he only takes 5 min using it

[Asker]

That sorta makes more sense actually

[BarryLiverstone]

Glad I could help. Guys don’t want their moms knowing when they do that stuff. It’s perceived as them being naughty and they want their moms to be proud of their actions instead

[Asker]

Thank you , you did help I might talk to him later about it all and try and clear it up but that did help a lot

[BarryLiverstone]

You are welcome. Also it’s good motivation to have a plan to move out. May not be financially able to today, but work together and you could be in your own place and have more flexibility when to be intimate together

[ohsheeT]

Ok so what's a dippy

[Asker]

Dippy is an ai app where people or yourself can make characters from films books games or just a random person and it’s sorta like a story but you choose what happens and what you say and do

[ohsheeT]

Wow, interesting, so if I knew you.
And I can make you my random person. It would tell a story or fantasy? About you? But I guess it would be OK, but I think I could be better than there story mine would be more real if that's how it works

[Asker]

So with dippy you make up your own background story, the characters personality and stuff like that so you can make your own person and how they are if that makes sense

[ohsheeT]

Wow. In away that is kind of hot and do who you make look real

[ohsheeT]

And you can make them do whatever you want?

[ohsheeT]

Have you ever tried it

[Asker]

You can make them do whatever yea

[ohsheeT]

wow that's interesting

[ohsheeT]

So is it like real or cartoon

[ohsheeT]

Lmao makes me want to look just to check it out A wonder how far a hologram to have gotten

[douride2]

What is dippy?

[Asker]

It’s an ai app where people or yourself came make characters from games or sexual

[douride2]

Then you best have a long conversation with your boyfriend.

[Asker]

I’ve tried but he doesn’t see anything wrong with using it and gets annoyed at me when I try to talk to him about stuff like that

[douride2]

Then I would say you have to options. Put up with it or leave him.