My boyfriend doesn’t want to do DDLG?

[chloenm]

So I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months and i told him that I’m into ddlg and told him what’s it’s about etc, so he said send me some links and I’ll learn more about it, so obviously I got excited... but then last night he said that it’s not really in his personality to do ddlg and he also started crying cos he was cutting my off from ddlg... I don’t know what to do. Ddlg is a big part of my life... and he said he doesn’t think he can do it...

[Intraluminal]

As with many fetishes, not everyone is into them, and they have that right. The question you need to ask yourself is, is there anything in this fetish that could meet *his* needs. Think about what he likes and that turns him on, and see what aspect of DDlg would meet that desire.

[Anonymous]

It's possible he's just really not the right guy for you.

If he's not at all turned on by being dominant, I think... it's never going to really work.

If he finds it a turn on but feels really awkward about it, or guilty, that could be worked through.

[chloenm]

He isn’t really that dominate at all... which is really bad for me

[chloenm]

He’s more of a softy but not in a good way

[Opinion Owner]

RIght, but is that because he find it a turn off, or because he's too nice to actually DO it. (it may well be the former, but it does matter. It's not that uncommon for guys who are young and nice to feel like... being rough or dominant or making you focus on them is 'bad' or wrong and they feel terrible about it... even though they -like- it. Those guys, ultimately, are probably the -best- dd, because they blend affection and warmth and caring and protection with being dominant and rough as well. Buuuttttt... if he finds it a turn off, it's never gonna work. If he was just some guy you'd dated for a week, i'd toss him back, but assuming you really like each other, it's at least worth making sure he's NOT a future amazing dd before moving on!

[chloenm]

He said he won’t be able to do the punishments... so he’s too nice to actually do it

[Opinion Owner]

Does it arouse him at all? Like if he watches a video of a woman being spanked, does it turn him on? What kind of porn does he like? What are his turn ons?

I'm not feeling too optimistic here, but like... saying just 'walk away' when maybe it's comfort, you want to be sure, right?

[Wonderer89]

Why didn’t you bring it up with him sooner if it was that important for you? It’s not unreasonable to have kinks you need in a relationship, but it’s also completely fine that he doesn’t share them.
It’s just incompatibility

[chloenm]

Because I was scared that he would walk away, some people thinks it’s weird

[Wonderer89]

But he’s probably going to walk away anyway honey, if this is something you need. Getting it out of the way in the initial stages before sex ensures you’re each capable of meeting the others needs before developing feelings for each other

[chloenm]

I guess...

[AzureGirl]

Either accept your boyfriend isn't into it and move on or leave him if it's more important to you than your relationship.

[Tchau_bebê]

Maybe you can come to a compromise or at least try it out together, he might come to really like it

[Anonymous]

Well a couple of ways this can play out.
maybe he doesn’t know how to be a dom. Or is afraid of what could happen or has happened.

if he isn’t willing to even try, that’s really a bad sign. Also, if this is a core thing for you, he needs to know that. Will you be satisfied without this? Will you resent him or worse down the road? Relationships are about compromise.

I would layout the minimum you could tolerate and then ask him to try to take small steps for you. Lay it all out and be clear. Reinforce the positive he does, coach on the negative. The male ego is very, very fragile.
explain it’s not about abuse or stigma but trust and giving yourself to him completely and allowing yourself a place to explore those driving needs.
I am a dominant but I never desired it in bedroom. My wife expressed her desires to me in a cautious slow way. Dropping hints etc. she is absolutely thrilled. We are equals in all things. I was afraid of hurting her or being a bad guy. When I figured out I was fulfilling her the light went on.

[Tuomaaash]

Move on. When it comes to these specific sexual "orientations", you can´t make someone into something they´re not. You do him a favour by letting him go and ofc for yourself too. Guys know if they want that so if he says "no" then it´s no use.

[andreasderjuengere]

I feel too lazy to look up what THIS fictional abbreviation (one of dozens) stands for. If he does not want it, then most likely because he does not want it. Whatever it is. I cannot see a conflict here, unless this ''TNT-what'' has something to do with HARIBO gold bears of course. Your guy may feel similar confusion. Give him a rest.

[dublin_sexyeyes0]

If its not his thing obviously your can't drag him into it. But nor can you deny your own desires either. Ye should, if you haven't already, have a chat about a way to compromise. Could be a few solutions... some more risque than others.

[Socal99]

So you really want to do it but he doesn't. Maybe he's not the right one you just need a good daddy to take good care of you. I like the list of things you have

[TheRedLemon]

Is this a serious, long lasting relationship? If yes, you should be able to give anything up to keep things going (with limits, of course).

[NightFlirt]

Sounds like you need to find a Daddy and not a boyfriend then little one

[reptocarl]

Then you’re not sexually compatible so you have a decision

[VikingWarLord]

Leave his Azz and get that Azz over here I'm your new DADDY now!
Say YES DADDY YOU ARE I WILL BE YOUR little TOY

[_dardorsama_]

What's DDLG?

I've never heard of it before? can you explain it to me please?

[Brutal_Honesty]

he's not up for it. whats the big deal? plenty of fish in the sea

[jadelouxx]

Seriously consider your options why give up something u love for a guys who clearly dosnt care

[bennyhana2]

If you're a little then I think you need to have a daddy to take care of you baby girl.

[edgyfox]

I hope you got what you needed.

[AsianLancelot]

So many other daddies out there for you princess

[devoygf]

what does DDLG mean

[Anonymous]

Respect him