Is it true that sometimes the person you’re looking for has been right in front of you all along?

[Anonymous]

One time my grandma told me that sometimes something that you’re looking for a right in front of you and you need to just open your eyes to true love and the person that’s always loved you and notices you, even if that person isn’t the type you want. She said I need to let go of that checklist and sometimes my type isn’t always the right one.

I’ve always gone after guys that were what my friends say “out of my league” because they’re authentic, jocks or whatever and I was a big girl. Like I was 266lbs but I’ve been 5’11 since middle school. My slim friends had ALWAYS had guys hitting on them. I have a guy friend that liked me but I’ve told him I didn’t like him and we’re just friends. He was also a big boy and overweight, tall. I though he would like hot, slim or fit girls too. He’s asked me to every dance, Valentine’s Day, out on dates, prom, I rejected him. We’ll I went to junior and senior prom with him but just as friends and two dances with him. Again JUST FRIENDS. No other guy wanted to go with me. Anyways my crush that was so mean to me according to my guy friend humiliated me during prom night senior year and abandoned me and didn’t even tell me. My guy friend checked to see if I was okay and I ended up hanging with him and his best friend. Only his best friend had a girlfriend that he stuck with.
My friends and even my parents know that he likes a me and says I should give him a chance on a REAL date. Even my grandpa and some family even could tell he likes me. My dad and brother really like him better than the other guys I’ve dated. My ex boyfriend only wanted to go out with me because I got thinner. That was done.
Now I have no man to go with since my guy friend moved in and has a girlfriend. I mean I’m happy for him but my grandma said “You snooze you lose. You had a chance and we tried to tell you. Good for him for moving on and having a chance to be happy. I guess my guy friend was the one for me.

[PrincessC16]

I don't know. I mean it sounds like you only want him back because you don't want to be without a boyfriend. Do you have any sexual/romantic feelings for him? It's that simple. If the answer is no then move along and let him be happy. If that answer is yes then let him be happy with his current girlfriend. So, either way, let him be happy. As you said you had your chance. If you find that you do have romantic feelings for him you will just have to wait to see when this relationship is over. If you were the one that was meant for him and he was the one that was meant for you then it will work out and it will happen. But it has to come at his time. If it shouldn't work out for you, then there's someone else out there. You just have to wait to find them. Don't rush, ok. I'm 239lbs and have been a big girl all my life. I'm also a lot older than you. I promise you that there are men out there that absolutely love big women and will adore you no matter what your weight is. Work on it because you want to be healthy but not because you want or need a lover. Because any man that truly wants to love you will not care about what you weigh. Best wishes!

[SeriouslyNotSerious]

Well, you shouldn't feel bad either. If a guy really wanted to date you, he will directly say it, or ask you out. If he didn't have the guts to tell, maybe it's not really meant to be anyway. So, move forward and don't feel bad. You have a bright future ahead of you, and more will come. ❤️

[Anonymous]

I spent six months up almost every night 10 PM - 4AM including school nights and days I had plans with other people when helping my first love deal with depression. She strung me along as I doted on her near daily propping her up and listening to her cry over and over and over. Then at my birthday gathering she asked out my best and oldest friend and they started going out the next day. He spent several months fucking her but gave her no emotional investment and when she said she needed love and not just sex he dumped her. I may have been awkward and overweight but in spite of all the shit woman have repeatedly done to me I've never hit one and remain respectful until given a reason not to. I'm not saying I was prince charming I'm still not, but I think you can see the difference in the treatment she received between me and my "Friend" He was better looking than me and he was charming, and I was overweight and awkward. Sadly, this is a very common story Anon.

[TheSpaceGnome]

You are mistaking frustration for compatibility and love.
Just because what you want isn't currently available, doesn't mean you should go for someone you don't want.

He was right to move on, and you were right to reject him.
He isn't your type, and you don't love him, and neither of you would be happy in a relationship based on settling.

Lose any extra weight that is still their and go find a guy who you actually like that likes you back.

[MrChinaski]

There was a Princeton speech (some time in the 2000s) where a female alumnus told Princeton women roughly if you want to marry well, look around you in this hall. You are more likely to find someone worthy here than you will after you graduate. I paraphrase. It caused a lot of furor at the time. But I think she was probably correct.

[NicholasRedone]

I'd say even those types can be misleading or "a book by its cover" can be just as true or false as flipping a coin 🪙 🪙 👛 it's always a 50/ 50 outcome unless the coin rolls away completely lol ☁️ ☁️

[ChicoFromThe305]

Yep a blown opportunity, your grandmother is wise and what she said was true, the dude tried really hard it seems.

[LiamS95]

I think that can sometimes be true and my grandma used to say there's none so blind as those that don't want to see.

[jahaims]

Beggers can't be choosers

[Asker]

Yeah true

[RedInnocent69]

You mean Ms Right Now

[Asker]

What’s that suppose to me a

[Asker]

Mean

[RedInnocent69]

If I can’t fondle the hand that I’m fond of, I fondle the hand at hand 😉😂

[Eempriyanka]

You gotta set up the mood

[Anonymous]

Yes.