I’ve heard and read these many times today… “When the right one ☝️ comes along…”
Have you found or met the right one yet?
I think its a myth that there is a "right" one for everyone. It's more or less a false platitude said by the more fortunate to conjure up a false hope in others. Truth is, in life some win and some lose. Instead of looking for the right one, one must temper their expectations.
Do they make you happy to be with them for you feel like you can tell them anything if yes to both questions in my opinion you've found the one
Opinion
48Opinion
u I think that usually, when you meet the person who is right for you, then you don't need to ask others if this is the right person for you.
Two separate systems come into play. The love drug, or pheromone that women and men exchange is directly attributed to the butterflies and infatuation love at first sight phenomena. It’s is determined by fertility and health of both parties but is also mitigated by promiscuity in females that have a reduction of the ability to produce the live drug and bond in this manner lessened with the more partners they have. It’s a sexist fertility indicator and isn’t fair to women but as a procreation tool for nature more means less for women.
the Love drug actually makes men illogical, infatuated and by design it tends to only last for a few years. A evolutionary Biologist would explain the impregnation and high resource demand of the first few years for women are served by the pheromones infactution keeping the father present for at least the first hard years.
Unfortunately keeping that bond going is improbable so once the first phase infactuation is gone a successful relationship depends on actually liking each other. Unfortunately Media, feminism, movies all paint a terribly screwed and unrealistic expectations of romance, and “the one”. This has been greatly accentuate by social media and dating apps as almost any woman can jump on an app and get attention from tons of high value guys because you are shopping out of 3.5 billion men.
compared to your grand parents that had a graduation class of 40 people thief own age and that meant 20 women or men to chose from. Many actually attribute the success of a marriage partially to the low number of choices available. These people new each other years befor pairing and had a more realistic view of the effort it takes to love the one your with.
There are lots f “the one” if you make it so. But don’t lose sight of why we pair and why we have marriages. For the last 50 years Marraige has become more a lark or role play for the participants satisfaction completly ignoring its actual reason to exist as an institution. Kids.
before birth control, sex out of wedlock was less common. Shotgun weddings were literal. To have sex men needed women. To ensure planned pregnancy women needed a commitment that was marriage and sex was the enticement. Feminism, birth control and easy out divorce have almost destroyed the institution of marriage. Pre marriage sex is common and birth control or abortion is common so putting a ring on it no longer means kids. Buy every metric a two parent home is overwhelmingly positive for children’s health, development and future success. Once a couple has children, short of criminal acts of extream violance and abuse a parental pair is always the best choice. To accomplish this parents need to understand once you have a child it’s no longer about your happiness. Men work to provide, not for fun. That’s why they pay you to do it, it’s work not play. Women give birth, it’s what they are designed for. This means that after the story book romance is over and infatuation subsides those children are still your prime directive. So if you are responsible for being a parent you work to stay married, if you are no longer in love that child is still number 1. So parents can be friends or even just partners to raise a healthy adjusted child. Very few lasting couples still slept in the same bed. They were friends (hopefully) but most of all partner parents.
so the “the one” is determined by how hard you both put into making it work. Physical attraction is important as is that euphoria of the passion of the bond but it’s fleeting. The sooner people realize, men and women, that the story book old couple growing old together is because they are mature committed adults that made it work and long lasting love is possible but is never easy or free. The one is what you do not who.
The right one is a misconception and a metaphor that describes a man or woman you are compatible with. You can tell that by conversing back and forth. Then you both feel the good vibes and click.
One thing is true: "You are waiting for?" Because you don't force everyone to be with you, force things to happen. There is no magic formula to turn every woman/man in sight into your soulmate. And just in case if you are wondering if it's normal that it is soo difficult to find. Yes it is difficult and very normal. I am myself 26 years old and still haven't had a real relationship. When I had, then they were relationships with compromises (half a year).
Why? Because we didn't match. Well. Yes I know what you are thinking. "I will never ever find anyone in my entire life".
That statement my dear could be an insult to every reader's intelligence and soo unlikely to happen. A plane crash would be more likely.
Now how do I know that one day it will happen?
-Your Life pace
-Even when you are fed up and had a string of disappointments, you still meet new men/women that show you signals which gives you another hint that one day you will find your match. Pain is a part of the game if you are a baller/warrior. If you were actually destined to be single/lonely forever, up to this day, you'd never ever meet a man/woman in your whole life. And if you still do even after failures, there is still hope. Pay attention if it still continues.
-You have standards, thanks for bad experiences. Now think for a moment what you used to love/like types of men or women. Do you still like them? No? Delightful news!!! You have standards now and know what you want. So there is another sign! And yes boo, the other man has also standards (your match) because he has been also hurt. Why am I saying this? Because it is with just like friends. Because when you are friends with someone, you have a lot of things in common. So is it the same with the right one. That's why. Or else it wouldn't make any sense.
-Your hobbies revealed your favourite place to be so you paid attention to your environment. you have a favourite place. The environment has a huge impact on our emotions. When we are at a place we feel unhappy, so is it the same with the people as they are a part of it. So you visit a place where you feel very comfortable.
Yaaay. Another hint!
Please girl, relax and do you :) So like I said. It is very very very very unlikely for you to be single forever and always. At some point of your life. There will be one. Because look... how many times have you tried? How hard have you tried to have a relationship? That is something that either happens by itself. You. Will. Find. Him or her (for the guys who are on the same boat). Because your life is always shifting! Be yourself and stay strong guys
Try being double that age and still haven’t found the right one. At some point you come to terms with being and dying alone, probably because there is nothing you can do about it. I thought I met the right one a couple of times in my life but maybe I wasn’t their “right one”. And I get the “ you are a good looking nice guy” thing when the why are we single topic comes up, but we all know it’s not about looks. But one thing does ring and always has rang true. Nice guys come in last or not at all.
Want a straight cut no bs answer? There is no "right person" out there. It's most probably just a myth, like the Loch Ness monster or the sasquatch (even though there's evidence which suggests that those still may be more real than true love).
Now I'll come clean and say that I myself haven't met this fictional person either, but I think the real "right person" isn't meant to be as perfect as what the fairy tale stories and rom-coms point them out to be anyways. Nobody's like that. This is real life. People are born with flaws and mistakes in them, and so are we ourselves.
It's about which of their mistakes we choose to overlook and ignore, and which qualities and traits they have that outweigh the bad ones. Your S/O may not be as handsome as half the guys you see walking around every day, they could be clumsy and absent-minded, or even be low-key cringe and annoying asf at times. But then when you think about it deeper, you realize they're genuinely a good person. They love you and care about you so much. You feel comfortable in their presence and you enjoy their company and spending time with them even if you're a loner at heart and you'll never give them up for the world, and just the thought of losing them is enough to make you tear up. Why is that? Why would you want to stay with them even if they have these many bad qualities?
Because THOSE people are the real right ones. When you're ready to overlook their flaws for their good qualities or even if you find their bad ones kinda cute and wholesome even if everyone else's repulsed or weirded out by those habits, that's when you know they're the right one. When it happens, you'll know.
That's a good question. I don't know it it's right or if it's wrong. But I try to keep it simple. Do they make you feel better about yourself a majority of the time, or worse? Do they challenge you (in a positive way) to be a better person than you are now? Do they bring out the best in you? If you can answer yes to these questions then you probably have found that person. I think the important thing to remember is whoever the person you choose you always have to remember that relationships are WORK. I think we are conditioned early on that love just happens and it's not true. ATTRACTION happens. Also called "LIMERANCE". Generally from 18 months to 3 years. This is why allegedly people "fall out of love". Because when limerance wears off if it hasn't been replaced by a deeper bond of love, then people tend to break up, get divorced and head their own directions. Sorry I'm rambling.
I like this scene in Juno. Yes it's a manufactured Hollywood scene but i think it encapsulates what you're asking. I think too many people spend too much time projecting what they think people want from them rather than just what they are. I think bad communication is 90% of people problems when it comes to relationships.
Certain boxes need to be ticked. I can't afford to have any more psychos in my life.
She needs to show that she can bring in an income and be responsible with money. Sharing financial responsibilities while living together under the same roof is huge! If one person gets all or most of the finances dumped on them, the relationship will more than likely be doomed. This is not 1956. Both partners must struggle together.
She needs to have a good head on her shoulders. She (and he) needs to be flexible, accepting (forgiving), and patient. Verbal abuse, constant negativity, and anger will destroy a relationship. If you can't accept your partner for who they are then you shouldn't have gone long term with them in the first place. Couples that practice being flexible, accepting and patient with each other tend to be those happy couples that stay together for their entire lives.
Some degree of compatibility. I don't believe that Type A personalities and Type B personalities are prone to get along with each other. If one needs to be working on getting things done all the time and the other doesn't have the energy and prefers to procrastinate (that's me). It's not going to work. Same with likes and dislikes, in and out of the bedroom. One likes loud rock music, the other doesn't; it's not going to work. One likes to stay in all the time, the other needs to go out for some social time; not happening. One likes kinky sex, the other doesn't; ain't gonna work. Resentment will set in. The relationship will go south.
Me and Caroline clicked and clicked and clicked the first time we met at a coffee morning. We talked and talked until morning drifted into the afternoon. We were singing from the same hymn sheet as they say. She is the most beautiful woman I have ever met. A force of nature, she is still the most intelligent, strong, creative person I have met. None of the reasons above was evidence that I had found the one. It was how we felt and argued and laughed together and rolled around in bed together. We shared so much as if we had always known each other, and I have never looked at another woman since.
I am engaged to my lady and we have been in a long distance relationship for 4 years now. I met her on a dating site and I never believed in long distance relationship like that but She's definitely prove to me that she's the One for me because for the first time, I have never found a woman that have impressed me like her. How I know that she was the one is She treated me like how my Late grandmother use to treat my Late grandfather back in the old days and in a traditional fashion. I saw the qualities of a Wife, Mother, and the Godly fearing believer in her on the first impressions when we met in person plus she convinced me to let go of another woman that have been pursuing for years.
Right person doesn’t exist
You be yourself
And if that is expected good from the men/women you are dating then well congrats it means they tolerate your dislikes and likes. That’s what love is — to accept them as they are.
If In any situation you feel ashamed of them or want to change them , that’s a sign you aren’t the one.
The right person is the one you accept their shit as they are.
Not an expert on this topic but I have lived that long to finally see it from other people life dramas lol
People conflate "right" with "perfect".
Few are willing to accept any kind of compromise to maintain or establish a relationship. Most want their partner to flatly submit to their will.
The "right person" will be nearly good enough but will require you compromise or submit something from yourself.
It's likely they would be framed as some kind of oppressor based on those terms. You and your friends will both enforce this norm. It's important to recognize that we're 20 years into the "never submit" mindset, which leaves -1% clearance in any direction for your partner to be a human being.
Gotta play a lot by ear. I had no idea when Sunny first sent me a friend request anything of who she was, or what she wanted. I never expected to fall in love with her. She originally went by the alias of "Titanium Jessica," when she worked for a titanium ore firm. I even suspected she might be a bot, but gave her a chance to be my friend anyway.
I had no idea why a titanium ore saleswoman from China would randomly want to know me. It made no sense. But the next three years that followed were beautiful on account of her. Alas, it didn't last. The cruel winds of political instability around the world took their toll. She wasn't willing to be a martyr for me. I had to let her find a safer life. I still miss her, but I can accept that she needs her family in China.
There was a story about a man who wanted to plant a tree infront of his kitchen window to block the sunlight. He planned that the tree will grow its branches in a specific way but it did not happen. He cut down the tree and planted a new one, same thing kept occuring that it never pleased his mind enough until one day he thought, fine I work with this and then he found that the tree was always perfect, only his own expectations caused anything else to be imperfect.
But a good person to be with is someone who is sensible enough to be wonderful towards themselves and their environment. Eventually you will learn one another, adapt and overcome situations that require growth and together you build an unbrekable bubble through the efforts you make together. Only now, this person might have become the best match. Perfection is a consequence, not a start.
Sorry I might of read "know the perfect person" 😂 but we can change perfection into success if it sounds better.
I thought i found her on 3 different occasions. The problem is that they didn’t feel the same. Ell oh ell!
I’ll paraphrase a quote, “Men fall in love with the perfect woman and expect she’ll never change. Women fall in love with a good man expecting he’ll become the perfect man. They’re both wrong.”
I, and many other people that I know, don't believe in "the right one" or what some call your "soulmate". You meet someone, you mutually like each other, and decide to have a relationship. In different circumstances, that could be someone completely different.
Easiest way. Imagine losing them. Does it hurt?
It’s a strong gauge. The heart and mind are of one in that moment.
That has a burn of it’s own.
If they're still being their genuine self after a few months and always bring positivity and willing to call you out on your bullshit, then it just might be.
Otherwise, your gut will tell to fuck off before they damage like they gonna be beating your cheeks.
Some mathematicians actually created a formula. Go on a date with 10 different people. From that group of people, pick the one that suits you best. Then when you meet a person who's better than THAT one, that's the closest person to your soulmate or perfect match.
You just know.
I might have found my right one ten years ago. But she died. You don't get two "right ones."
Thank you. And no. I gave up letting women bash me self-esteem in with a sledgehammer because I'm too short for them (even though my ex was almost 6'4" ironically enough). I'll never grow any taller, so I'm done with attempts at dating or finding someone else. At least I'll keep my confidence in-tact that way.
@Pinay_ako
Considering female nature, I doubt women like that still even exist. I don't even know any Western women who are still genuinely into men. Women nowadays are either queer (gay, lesbians, bi; all the same thing), feminists, OnlyFans sluts, or burnt-out because they picked too many Chads and ignored too many good men.
But yeah, if in the one in 20 billion chance a woman comes along who's heterosexual, monogamous, not a man-hating Wokémon, not a sex worker, and not bitter, AND she's into me (who's neither tall and ripped, nor rich), then sure, I'd give her a shot.
You never know because there can be someone you unconsciously had your eye on thinking "this person is out of my league" and come to find out they were thinking the same exact thing which in my experience a chance encounter being in the wrong place in the right time everything falls in the right place bi know from 1st hand experience ☺️
No such thing...
Imagine a world where you have the power of choosing, of limiting yourself, of committing and making leaps of faith?
I've always treated loving someone as a responsibility I incurred myself, and people always envied my love life.
Of course, it's not wise to do it without having some wisdom in choosing partners...
Once I get proposed to and I say yes. Until then, there's no telling! And marriages still fail, perhaps the only way to know is when you both grew old together but still love eachother very much.
My cousin once told me, if he is the right one, you don't have to ask yourself questions and be like insecure or anxious, there will be no reason to doubt anything and you will just know
I have not met "the one" yet, but I really have been focused on other things. I just trust God to move in my life. I believe I'll know on an instinctive level when I find the right match, or at least someone worth pursuing.
I always hear it in the movies saying “you just know”, “you can't really explain it”, “there are no words that can describe it”, and other crap. I feel like its true, though its not real life. If thats the case, no i have certainly not.
Once you realize there is no such thing as a perfect romance you'll be much more likely to find a good one.
As for the right person, you can just feel the vibe that brings you both up to a higher energy level.
I have not. But I would definitely like to meet one!
I am pretty sure she will meet me in the most unexpected of places.😅 That's how it is right?
I know I'm much too young and way too new to relationships but it feels like it. Prob just honey moon phase and whatnot but I hope it lasts forever.
I just knew, my girlfriend and I were off and on throughout high school, didn’t talk for a couple years and reconnected about a year and a half ago, we were both doing our own things but we thought about each other constantly sounds sappy I know
No I thought I did and then she left after a 3 year relationship yesterday so truthfully no and I think I'm done dating 😅
You're far too young to give up on relationships. There are people who had relationships 10 times longer than yours and wound up in better ones later.
I personally hate that expression. People change and the right person right now might be the wrong person 10 years from now.
Mourn the relationship (it takes time and effort), work on yourself and be open for whatever good comes your way!
Nah man it hurts like he'll she was the literal definition of perfect to me I mean I'm starting to feel like I'm ugly bro I might as well just do plastic surgery and starve myself so I good enough to date somebody that's what it feels like bro XD
nooooooo. You think it's the end of the world because ONE PERSON hurt you? I went through that in my younger years but lemme tell you something, one day you'll meet someone better! I thought I was ugly af coz he cheated on me but no, I was wrong. Someone will come along and find you are perfect for them just the way you are! No BS
Don't do that Don't give me hope
Sometimes we got to know them for a while before we can say that we know them real good we need to take our time.
It's tough to pin down exactly.
Myself I just never pictured myself with someone else after I was with her for a while.
You know it in your heart that they are the right person. If you don't want to be away from them for longer than a couple minutes and you think about them all the time, they are the right person.
@sparkie460 Only through deductive & inductive reasoning, can a person know if they met the right one or not.
She doesn't mind me feeling her giant boobs up in public,
We had sex while making our first date plans
You bragged to all your girl friends about my huge dick...
And other stuff
Well there can be more than 1 right 1 I've had a few but some times people change an some times they want a different person which is what happened with my exs they went back to ex husband
Where is he? Why haven’t I found him? Do I have to do anything?
I don't date
women a cunts
and prostitutes made for stroking cock
they prefer validation from other people more than
their partner
so I let cunts go be cock whores
and tell men not to date,
so here is some money sluts
now shake that ass
stroke that cock and be a good whore
I have not met him yet, but I think it will probably be obvious when I do meet him. Maybe love at first sight?
I think that you should date someone who cares about you. Protect you. And love you. And you will know that that's the one for you
When she ✅ off all the boxes, then she's the right one
You only know if they are the right one when you are on your death bed looking back over your life.
No such person as 'the right one' except someone I can't get out of my mind who makes me smile every time I think of her.
You have to get to know them. That’s practically the entire point of dating.
@clampfan101 On the contrary, deductive & inductive reasoning is the only way to determine if the person is the right one without dating.
@Shiningtempest No, that’s how you strategize who to try dating. Dating is still required.
@clampfan101 Unfortunately, I don't believe in dating or marriage after reading news stories about court battles between Johnny Depp & Amber Heard.
@Shiningtempest Then you don’t believe in love. That’s no reason to argue with my opinion.
I don't really think you can ever know with certainty.
There is no such thing as "the right one".
"Right One"... meanwhile they're 37 with a phd and some dogs.
I have no idea... as I have never found her yet...
Everything feels right until it goes wrong
I have not met the one yet. Then again I am only 20 years old
Both or one will be want to be be with each of other
There is no right person. there's no outside force that has your match out there. The math just wouldn't add up. If it did, your perfect mate would be in Mongolia or something.
I don't think someone like that exists for me.
Maybe but I've already given up trying, been hurt too much already and not looking to open myself to the possibility of it again.
As I believe with everyone, you're value grows and like OP said, you're young, and so am I. I'm 22. Just focus on yourself with your prospects in mind and the most wonderful person for you will shine. Just keep your head up day after day. It's hard for both M & W, but it's also "possible".
I am focusing on myself and i don't see any issues with my values. I just believe that to be open to a relationship you have to be open to the possibility of getting hurt and that doesn't seem worth it to me. So it's safer to just not try. I'm better off on my own.
You don't. That's why you date them. To find out.
You gotta try it, to know it
If she fucks me, she's the one!
uhmm where is he
Not yet, still waiting
@Pinay_ako Thanks for the Like
there is no right one 😂
Simple don’t believe it this concept
There’s no “the one” there’s several people that match what your looking for some are fortunate enough to find one of those thousands that would be suitable and likewise for them.
you just do.
there's a powerful pull to them and a deep connection to them.
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