Is it true that the person you’re looking for is right in front of you?

Question

My grandma once told me one day the guy you’ve been looking for has been right in front of you all along. He may not be your type or the guy you want but he could be the right one for you. You just need to open your eyes and pay attention to him. It could happen. I just laughed and didn’t believe her. My type was always good looking, handsome, tall or whatever, but I was the tall, fat chubby black girl growing up and it was hell. I’m getting slimmer but I’m still chubby. I’m 5’10”. I have a guy friend I knew since first grade my parents know he really likes me. We’re good friends but we’re not close. My best friends told me back in high school that he’s had a crush on me for like FOREVER. He always asked me to go to dances with him and always asking me out. I always rejected him. I did go to the face with him twice but only because no other guys asked me or I got rejected. My crush abandoned me.
My guy friend is a great guy but he always asks me if I’m his girlfriend and I looked at him weird and said stop. He’s a big boy. He’s tall (5’11), white man and chubby himself but he’s losing weight. I never understood why he prefers my fat ass over the hot or cute thick or slim girls. I’ve only had one boyfriend in my life and he was a jerk to me and cheated.

My girl best friend said, “He’s reacting this way because he wants YOU to notice him. He’s had a crush on you for YEARS. You’re always paying attention to guys that won’t give you the time of day.”

My parents said stop being in denial. Just STOP and realize that he’s always been the one for me, since DAY ONE. He’s the only guy (other than your guy best friend) that’s stayed in contact with you. He’s never abandoned you, he’s stuck by your side and he’s doing better for himself. I think you like him too but you keep fighting it. You blush when he comes around but you’re dating guys that are losers. Trash.

I once introduced him to my slim, hot neighbor but he wasn’t interested. What? He chases my fat ass.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

"My grandma once told me one day the guy you’ve been looking for has been right in front of you all along" I think that's a typical speech from a typical granny, the "guy you've been looking for" is the one she projects, in her eyes any random nice guy may have been THE deal. One you'll find in every streets, because maybe she just needed that, a nice guy. And maybe it was a-okay for her, fine, no problem. It's her life. What is a nice guy though? Answers might be veeeery different depending on who you ask. I've heard women saying that a nice guy is simply a guy who doesn't slap or beat them... It's very sad, but in some locations, it's also very true, such guy might be rare. And in other, safer, locations, that guy who doesn't beat his wife is just the strict bare minimum. Sounds like you could settle for this guy, for a relationship based on your own resignation. I can envision how you could quickly turn against him, because when you'd look at him, you'd look at your own disappointment,  you'd look at how you settled for... The least worst , instead of settling with someone you wanted. Such future smells really bad to me. Or you can disregard entirely what I'm saying , and test things with him. After all, I didn't get the nice relationships at the beginning, I got the silly ones first and it got better over time, through iterations. Maybe you need to be with this guy to experience whatever you have to experience?

TrimmedTip · Accepted Answer

What your grandma said carries truth for a lot of people: sometimes the person who's right for you is right in front of you—but that doesn’t mean they’re the one just because they’re there or loyal.

Let’s break it down simply:

He’s a good guy — clearly loyal, consistent, and caring.
You’re not attracted to him — and that matters. Chemistry isn’t everything, but you do need to feel something.
You feel pressure — from friends, family, even yourself. That’s natural, especially when people around you keep pointing at someone and saying, “He’s perfect for you!”
But here's the key:
You don't owe anyone a relationship out of guilt, pressure, or history.
If your heart's not in it, that’s okay. You can care about him and respect his loyalty without forcing feelings you don’t have.

That said…
Sometimes attraction grows over time, especially when someone treats you right. If there’s even a tiny part of you that wonders, “What if?”, it’s okay to explore that thought. Maybe not a relationship, but something as small as spending more quality time with him just to see how you feel without pressure.

Bottom line:
You deserve love you feel excited about. If that’s not him, that’s okay. If it might be him but you’re afraid to admit it, be honest with yourself and take your time. Either way — it has to come from you, not everyone else’s expectations.

Flower7 · Accepted Answer

If you don’t even like him in that way, then he’s NOT the person you’ve been looking for. Just because someone is “there” doesn’t mean that you should be dating them.

Brittanyrunner06 · Accepted Answer

I think it would be a really rare, fairytale type thing to happen. Like something from a romantic comedy movie.

SotiCoto · Answer

Not sure. I'm not looking for anyone and there is nobody in front of me... so I'm not sure if that counts as confirmation or not.

In your case though... I'm not sure what to make of it. You admit to being heavier yourself, but you not only hate it in yourself but also in others... so you reject not only anyone like yourself but also anyone who likes you as you are...

Honestly I pity the guy. He has the right of it. Skinny girls are crap. Bigger girls are better... but you have a major personality problem, so I guess that'll never really be resolved.

lorenzomichael · Answer

I don’t think that a true statement. However if you want it to be then I guess so. How are you looking for a spouse i’ve had one. I got two wonderful kids out of it one is living with me now I have a daughter and about six female friends that I fuck with on the regular, but if you’re single trying to look for that person in front of you or whatever I say fuck that, stay single, that’s my advice

Staximus · Answer

Did the hot slim girl even like him? If you're fat, stay in your league and you won't be so disappointed. It's fat and chubby guys for you or a skinny crackhead.

Shiprex · Answer

Sometimes the person you least expect to be ideal for you is not even in your sights for a relationship.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Wait hold up, you demand tall and handsome slim guys. But how about your physical appearance? Are you serious? You demand but won’t bring to the table.

fonduegirl · Answer

Your granny probably married the first man who proposed

exitseven · Answer

In my case she lived right up the street from me. We did not meet until we were 23.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

Nope. It all comes down to what you look like how much money you have and the possessions you own. That's it.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

You won't get anywhere, if you're looking for perfection

Anonymous · Answer

No, I don't think so. It seems that the girl I'm looking for is far away, maybe on some other continent.

MOUTHWASHING · Answer

No. You have to really look for the one you will share you life with.

najekim · Answer

You'll find the right person for you when you're not looking.

NoDecision · Answer

If he was you just ran him over. 😯

molonski2 · Answer

Yes that certainly is always true.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Give him a chance. He really likes you.

jahaims · Answer

It's not a literally saying...

Iron_Man · Answer

No lol

In_Trance · Answer

Not always

Is it true that the person you’re looking for is right in front of you?

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