What is something you wish you learned sooner about being social and dating?

[Anonymous]

Updates

7 mo

What do you think guys should know when it comes to dating and talking to women they're attracted to?

[Summeroflove]

What people need to learn is materialistic and superficial people many people aren’t going to be honest about what they are looking for. Some people are just desperate to get married for kids, for financial reasons, for appearances, social status, etc. Some people lust heavily after beauty they have no genuine interest in getting to know who you really are. Some people are also so beauty obsessed they lack any substance on the inside.

If someone’s with you because you have money you will probably be cheated on. If someone’s with you simply because you look good you’ll likely be cheated. As well as eventually discarded.

[Anonymous]

Most importantly*** A woman either is interested or she isn't and if she isn't there is NOTHING you can do to change that. Don't listen to people who tell you to try harder. The only thing you're doing is entertaining her at that point. It will not change anything. Can she change her mind? Possibly. But she's going to have to decide that. And that brings me to my second point. Almost NEVER give a woman a second chance. She made her choice, she has to live with that choice. Feel free to let her try if you wish. But know this almost NEVER works. If she didn't see your value the first time she almost never will see it if given another chance (only in rare circumstances).

If you're a romantic guy keep pretending to be. But learn to BURY your true feelings. That will be of no use to you dating and will actually handicap you. You have to understand women like romance. But ONLY as it applies to them. All women are different but they all have the same basic tendencies. So once you understand them it's just a matter of adjust the nuances for each woman. And once you understand those it's like a combination. You know exactly how to play her.

Know ALL women have a little crazy in them. Don't try to find one that doesn't, she doesn't exist. But KNOW the good ones will understand they have a little crazy in them and will do thier best to control it and even apologize for it. But the bad ones will NEVER even admit to her craziness. She's even blame it on you. And if you're a woman reading this. You're learning which group you fall into. Maybe this realization can help you.

[alice55]

I don't know I have no experience for it, the only things I did was talk to everyone who talked to me to fight against my shyness and it worked not bad now I'm able to make small talk but I still need to learn social cue and stuff but I'm quite bad at it in general I think.

Well talking to girls you're attracted to I think you should be polite and check for "sign" like girls making eyes contact.

[jennifer_bloom]

I learned you can’t receive great happiness unless you are willing to sacrifice small happiness to get it. My example is, if you enjoy the small pleasures of potato chips and chocolate bars every day, you will not be able to enjoy the great pleasures of being physically attractive and able to choose your life partner out of a large selection of highly attractive people.

[Changiis07]

Be careful who I give my time to. Not all guys want a relationship and just be careful with what they say and if I choose to stay or move on. Can't do nothing about it now but wish I had been more careful for sure

[DishLady]

Wish I’d actually been allowed to date before getting hitched. It would have saved me a hell of a lot of abuse and heartache.

[OneViewpoint]

It took me a while to understand just how insecure many women, even gorgeous women are about themselves. A lot of good looking people are just cruising through life without any real understanding of the way other people perceive them. And others are so wrapped up in their looks they will obsess over a pimple or a nose they feel isn't "perfect". Once you're able to read those things in women, it makes it a lot easier to talk to them in ways they find appealing... if you're willing to do it. I lost interest somewhere along the way, LOL.

[ProbablyClueless]

Men, myself included, have this really stupid and self defeating tendency to want to control things. I think it comes from having so many life experiences of things not working out the way we want them to.

But you have to find a way to work past that in dating, especially if you want to find someone to marry. The women are in charge, in dating and relationships because they're the ones who decide whether a relationship is allowed to develop. And as men, we don't really have any choice but to do what they want. Because if we don't, they simply aren't going to entertain us.

Women preen the men they like.

So my advice to younger men is to learn how to trust the process of interacting with women. If they've decided that you can't talk with such and so, or that you'd look better wearing this shirt or those pants; don't just automatically dismiss that as some controlling, mean girls nonsense. Remember, having desirable men to pick from benefits them too.

[TheSpaceGnome]

That after graduating highschool, if I didn't find a match before then, I'm probably never going to, and that the adults telling teen me to wait until I graduate are literal scum who wanted me to die alone.

Most adults have no way to be around a thousand people their own age every day, and for some reason society does nothing about this, so our odds of finding love are almost zero.

As far as the update goes, just be yourself, make friends, marry a female best friend. Nothing else will work.

[DonaldDarko]

I wish I'd understood the actual nature of women and sexuality in general. I wouldn't have bothered at all. I'd have been devastated and maybe even depressed about it but I would have gotten a pass is probably the best way of putting it. I wouldn't have stressed over women or worried about any of it. Of course I'd have had to deal with the brutal knowledge for a much longer period of my life as well.

[Jltakk]

It's tough because all those years in high school and college being extremely focused on aceing school got me to where I am today. I had to make up for mental deficiencies with sheer hard work and focus, forgoing social distractions. Of course, there's a ton of regrets because I don't have someone to hold and can't act or talk like a human in regular conversation or social gatherings, but it is what it is, that's the path I took.

[Babebytheshore85]

I'm married now and the best advice I can give other women is meet a man while in University or right after in the networking phase of your career. That way you'll meet a man just as ambitious and successful as you are

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I wish I studied psychology muuuuuch earlier in time, instead of investing my energy into philosophy only. Because this field has changed the nature of all my relationships.

[lightbulb27]

Christ, how to have my center and strength and learn to be social so could express my heart for others and navigate the complexity.

[nightowl_28]

That behavior and your attitude also matter. I'm not a particularly good looking guy. I think part of the reason for my lack of success is my lack of confidence and doomer behavior.

[Babygirl_S]

That everyone I talk to might think I’m hitting on them. I’m simply being friendly and they start thinking I’m flirting. Even the so-called “good girls” think I’m flirting when I’m simply talking to them. Typically desperate!

[Nikki1989]

Men are not the knights in shiny amour some make them out to be. They aren't trustworthy. I learned that one when I was only 13.

[MySunflowerSophia]

Never lower your standards and wait for a guy who wants you, not the other way around.

[Cormac995]

For some woman that understand what proper standards are this is good advice. The problem is many womans standards are completely ridiculous so for most woman in my experience this is bad advice. If you're definition of standards are things like "a six figure salary and a nice car or him always being the one who has to pay for everything" Than a lot of you are going to be single for life unless you have a lot to offer in some capacity that attracts a man of that caliber and these days most men that make that much don't have time to date if they wanted to because in order to be that successful they have to be married to their job.

[NicholasRedone]

Diseases the risk of diseases everywhere and not everyone is a clean freak and I'm single lol not dated lol just one stood up 😀😋

[Caughtulookin]

I never actually learned. I am a one on one person and most females today find that as clingy. Im not very good or comfortable around new people.

[Pohjolan]

I wish I had learned evolution psychology sooner.

[Maskx]

It’s better to take a chance and fail than to never take the chance and wonder about the life Id live if I had.

[Anonymous]

Everything, considering I never had a date...

[A_S_i_L]

İ learned everbody is not real own , there are all heros or fantastic

[itsannalee]

Don’t use your heart, use ur brain more.

[ChooChooHaha]

The transactional nature of things socially.

[exitseven]

Maybe if you like somebody you should tell them.

[Anonymous]

People don't change, unless they want to.

[MinaV]

Keep it casual in the beginning of the date

[kraegon]

100%. In the beginning of the entire thing, really. Take things slow, one step at a time. Trying to tie someone down too soon is just desperate and immature

[Anonymous]

That women love to fuck

[Anonymous]

Nope