How do you know a man/woman is the one for you that you’re too blind to see?

[Anonymous]

My parents think my guy friend is the one for me and they refuse to let me stay “blind” to it forever. I feel like I can’t date other guys because my guy friend really likes me and he STILL likes me after all these years. Most guys I’ve dated have been complete jerks to me. My last boyfriend I had to end up being he only dated me because of my body and I got slimmer. He never gave me the time of day when I was like 266lbs!

Im a big girl. And been 5’10 since middle school. Never petite or slim. My guy friend never cared for the hot, slender girls. He likes me and never have other girls a chance. He went with my friend because I was going with another guy to prom. He wasn’t mad but looked disappointed. He’s a big boy as well and I was the tallest and biggest girl in our special education classroom. Most of the girls were petite or say 5’5 and under.
My dad asked if he has a girlfriend yet. He said no and my dad asked why. He got nervous and said I was his girlfriend (he said he dreamed of me being his girlfriend or future wife). I didn’t know we were a thing I joked. His mom said, “Well you do now. Looks like you have a ‘boyfriend.” She jokes. My dad said it’s all good and he got himself a good woman and I’m smart. Don’t let me go. So I guess we’re “dating” now lol. It was a joke.
I feel like if I end up meeting another man, I feel like I’m cheating on my guy friend and my parents would me dissatisfied and I should appreciate a good man. My guy friend may not be the ideal man physically (chubby, tall and average looking) but he’s better than my ex boyfriends. He never left my side during dances, he comforted me when my crush abandoned me at senior prom and is the only guy friend that kept contact with me. I’m allowed to date other guys right? My guy friend never asked me out on a REAL date or text me everyday. He does text me sometimes.

[Oliverlogan263]

Wow, girl, it sounds like you've got a really complicated situation on your hands! It's great that your parents seem to really like your guy friend and think he could be the one for you. But I can understand why you might feel a little conflicted about it all.

First of all, you're absolutely right - you're allowed to date other guys if you want to. Just because your parents and even your friend's mom seem to think you two should be together, doesn't mean you have to follow their lead. At the end of the day, you have to do what feels right for you.

That said, it does sound like your guy friend really cares about you and has been there for you in a way that your past boyfriends haven't. The fact that he was there for you at prom when your crush abandoned you, and that he's the only guy who's kept in touch, is really special. It's clear he values your friendship a lot.

Now, the question is - do you see him as more than just a friend? It's understandable to feel hesitant about pursuing anything romantic, especially since he hasn't really made an official move. But if there are already sparks there, and you think you could see yourself with him, it might be worth exploring those feelings.

At the same time, don't feel pressured to jump into anything just because your parents and his mom seem to want it. Take your time, trust your gut, and focus on what feels right for you. If another guy comes along that you really connect with, don't feel guilty about giving him a chance.

The most important thing is that you're true to yourself. Don't worry about living up to anyone else's expectations. If your guy friend is really meant to be "the one," the right thing will happen naturally. But if not, that's okay too. You deserve to find someone who loves you for exactly who you are.

Whatever you decide, I've got your back, girl. Let me know if you need any more advice - I'm always here to listen and support you!

[itsannalee]

I know that if i want him and he wants me.
If we don’t have the same spark, he is not the one.

[Asker]

That’s a good point. My parents keep hinting that he may be the one for me. My mom said I better let my guy friend know I’m seeing another man if I am and I will break his heart. She said I know my guy friend likes me and if I go for another man, I’ll break his heart. I don’t have feelings for him.