Is dating hard for men simply because of their high standards?

Question

Men are always complaining on here about how it is so hard to find a woman. They claim to be rejected by women all the time. But then when you take a look at women they go for, its only pretty, slim, young women under 30 years old. After they get rejected, they go online to trash women about how ALL WOMEN are stuck up and have overly high standards.

why wouldn't pretty, slim, young women under 30, have high standards? if the entire world of men are chasing them?

maybe lower your standards a bit and you would be able to find someone.

They all complain about how all women hate being approached. Most women actually barely ever get approached and love getting approached. Its just the top 10% of women who get approached all the time, that are sick of getting approached.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

OK, you have to listen and read everything. You just wrote because you just answered your own question

First of all it's hard for guys to find somebody they say

That's not true. Most guys find anybody and They put their eyes on but they get turned down

Then once they get turned down , they An attitude and that's when women are all wrong It's their fault blah blah blah blah blah

Those are the women haters. That's why they can't get a date , because their attitudes the Ways if they treat women

And as for the older guys wanting younger Women that's not always true When a physical man gets to a certain age , he wants to do Things all the time that are physical to keep him in shape Women his own age don't want to do that So they search for somebody little bit younger that likes to do that

And now away Younger women like.
Older men because they know they're gonna get treated right They're not going to have a petty argument every five minutes It's just a much more.
Mature Type of relationship

But if a guy cannot get a date and then he starts talking about Women and how bad they are You can see why they don't get dates

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

No, it's mostly because of women's high standards or, quite often, LOW standards!! They don't like the nice guys that want them, they only go after the assholes that abuse them and just use them for sex and then they come crying to the nice guys about why is it they can't find a nice guy? YOU'RE CRYING ON HIS SHOULDER, BITCH!! WAKE THE FUCK UP AND SEE!! Mr. Nice Guy helps her get over it hoping she'll see that he's exactly what she's looking for and crying about why she can't find such a guy and the next day, she's fucking another asshole!!!

HawkPerception · Answer

I personally don't care whether a girl is older than 30 or not. But 30+ year olds in the West tend to be out of shape. Is it that hard to put effort into your appearance and physical health? And is it wrong to have the desire to look good for your partner? Obviously, appearance isn't everything. They have to have a good and compatible personality with myself. But part of your personality is also having the desire to stay in good physical shape and take care of your appearance, not just for yourself but for your partner as well.

Girls nowadays tend to have the view "I shouldn't have to look good for you". That's fine, but I'm not gonna be with a chubby she/her. I'm much happier being alone than dealing with the shit that comes with being with a girl like that. Everything is "Me, me, me". He needs to initiate with me, he should buy me flowers, he should pay the bill on a date, he should work, have a place of his own, not expect me to cook and clean, treat me like a queen, only have sex when I'm feeling up for it, etc. I'll pass on girls like that. Not gonna simp my way into a relationship.

ShellyB · Answer

OK this may be dumb but, I can’t figure out how it can actually be harder overall for men in the long run, I understand that getting a date might be harder but how can it be harder to have a relationship? There are about the same number of men and women and most relationships (at least most straight relationships) have one of each so, wouldn’t about the same number of men and women be in relationships? I do think that a girl getting a date is easier on average than a guy getting a date but I am talking about relationships, that is not always easy for anybody or sometimes it just naturally happens but either way it is a mutual thing with two participants. I think some of this is just how people feel about it especially about getting a date, for example if you are a single guy and thinking “I want a relationship, I am going to ask some girls out” and they say no you might feel really frustrated, vs if you are a single girl and thinking “how come Michael won’t ask me out, Michael is who I want to be with, these other guys keep asking me out but I don’t want to date them I want to date Michael”, either way you are not in a relationship but maybe it feels different.

Finchie40 · Answer

People that have high standards in general , is going to find it harder to date , It’s ok to have standards but if your standards are way too high , then the chances of that person finding a great connection and chemistry with someone , is going to be a very slim chance if they do.

Avicenna · Answer

LOL, a majority of men do not have high dating standards, and certainly not unreasonable ones. For those who do, sure, it doesn't go well for them, but I suspect after a while they moderate their expectations.

DishLady · Answer

Everyone is (1) too picky and (2) too focused on the wrong thing. Saying is hard bc everyone lies and so everyone presumes that everyone else is lying….

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I've never been rejected and instead am the one doing the rejecting, but yes my standards when compared to the world's population of women are very high, not because what I want is objectively better, but because its rare.

My criteria are as follows:
1. She has to be a virgin and have no STDs.
2. She has to be unusually clever, like inventor clever.
3. She has to be silly, bubbly, goofy bundle of energy. Very loving, very affectionate, clingy, and full of joy. The type to have an "infectious" laugh/smile and not be jaded, moody, or bitter.
4. She has to have a cute face, very thick scalp hair, a petite body, huge boobs, and looks very young/healthy for her age.
5. She has to not want any kids, but has or wants lots of exotic pets.
6. She has to be an artist/illustrator (being an animator, programmer, writer, and musician as well is a plus, but not required).
7. She has to like science, sci-fi, fantasy, CGI, practical special effects, robotics, and anime/cartoons.
8. She has to be a collector or at least admirer of geeky/nerdy things, such as action figures, model kits, retro games, etc.
9. She has to be good at difficult video games and not be a sore loser nor a gloating winner, the type to revel in a challenge and enjoy fun over easy progress.
10. She has to be altruistic, but not martyr.
11. She has to be lewd minded, but not promiscious, the type to watch porn/hentai and make dirty jokes, but not the type to cheat, sleep around, or get in bed quickly.
12. She has to like bugs, spiders, snakes, dinosaurs, cats, etc
13. She has to be a logic driven atheist.
14. She has to have never drank any alcohol, never smoked, and never did any other recreational drugs.

Aside from the part about boobs, I'm the male version of that archetype, its only reasonable I expect to get the female version, and I refuse to settle until I find her.

Hellraiser1984 · Answer

I just go with the old 5 years younger or older than you. I doubt as a 41 year old would have much in common with a 25 year old. I don't like bad girls much because they are bad. Good girls are out here but usually religious and I'm an atheist so there's no way that's going to work. At 41 I've had a few flings but my problem is I don't see why anyone would ever love me. I like comics , build model kits, and watch really weird old movies. I'm not in shape but I do go to my apartment complexs gym every day. I'm a grad student at 41 and am on social security for PTSD major depression, social anxiety disorder and borderline personality disorder. That right there means I'm not dating material because no woman is ever going to be with a guy a screwed up as me. I'm a huge red flag to women. Not worthy of love. That's why I gave up. On my good things about me I'm a good cook, I'm very intelligent and knowledgeable. I can probably destroy your beliefs in God in 20 minutes with all the religious/mythology knowledge. I'm very kind hearted and a good person. I adore my niece and respect my mom ( my dad can go to hell). I have great respect for women who have respect for themselves. But all women are ever going to see Is a guy on meds in counseling and a nerd. I don't drink or do drugs, I've never had a speeding ticket. I've been told I'm good looking but need to lose the weight which is what I'm doing. But even if I do I'm still not good enough to be loved. Why because the"experts" in dating in your womens magazines and websites tell you I'm not good enough for you. The "experts" are not telling you what you should be doing in dating: thinking for yourselves. If you like a guy who's Chubby and he makes you happy why should you care what your "friends" and the "experts" think. I love intelligent women but damn a lot of you are so ignorant and vapid.

dragoblack · Answer

There's multiple reasons and that is definitely one high on the list. The other is men are not being seen as people in dating, but as a social and/or economic tool for a comfortable/fun life without consequences. Dating isn't seen as trying to find someone you feel so comfortable with, that you can comfortably talk about anything, anymore.
The other issue is all of the bullshite mind games and tests, there's no genuine interaction & honesty, and honestly i see it bleed into relationships making them insanely unstable and filled with unneeded & pointless drama.
People make relationships & dating into this extremely overcomplicated & self-sabatoging game, when it's not actually supposed to be that hard.
Hell, most of the bullshite comes from old magazine's dating sections, filled with toxic dating advice from the 1940s through the 2000s, but most popular in the 1980s. It just became so ingrained into dating over the years, that it turned into the unstable bullshite we see today.

Anonymous · Answer

No. Average guys have to work ten times as hard to get a woman that was below Average in the times of their mother and grandmother.

Modern women in general can't cook, won't clean, are overweight/obese, aren't loyal, refuse to contribute financially to the relationship but expect men to perform their traditional role as protector and provider while on top of that come home look after the kids, cook and clean.

So basically if you are a young attractive in shape woman who will pull her weight in the relationship, basically a woman who was average in our mothers and grandmother's time you are able to pick and choose above average guys.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Yes, your instincts are correct. Both men and women in this social media society have ridiculous expectations about dating. If you're only willing to accept a "10" then you're rejecting "1's - 9's". That's 90% of potential dating partners. 90% of people can't date the top 10%. Do the goddamned math, LOL. But men and women have been conditioned to think they deserve "the best" and they all believe they're gonna win the dating lottery. Luckily, not everyone has bought into the insanity. Normal people still find each other all the time.

RavVid · Answer

Oh online dating has made a difference. Lets hypothetically take a pre internet small town with 100 single boys and girls. Broadly we could expect the most attractive guy and girl to pair up and that to replicate all the way down. Maybe everyone wanted someone more attractive but would have to settle for what was possible locally.

Now the town is connected. The girls and boys now have say a million potential partners to chose from. Since 20 yo girls are at their peak of attractiveness with firm breasts etc nearly every guy wants to spend quality vagina time with them.

So it is a lot more competitive for guys. Instead of competing with 50 other guys suddenly every guy is competing with a million guys.

Hypergamy goes wild. It is entirely predictable.

Anonymous · Answer

for the redpill dudes yes. for the average normal dude no. I don't think men on average have crazy high standards. i'm a 5-6/10 and i get plenty of attention, even when i was kinda fat and goth i got hit on quite a lot actually. you dont need to be the top 10% to get noticed by dudes.

dating is only easier for women because a lot of men are horny and will say anything to get sex including "i love you". but it's hard to get a real relationship where the man actually loves you for real and isn't just there for regular sex and other little benefits. while if a men gets in a relationship, it's almost guaranteed the woman likes him. women aren't nearly as horny and want real love, so it's harder for men to get a girlfriend because women dont want to be used for sex and assume most interested are after that

Anonymous · Answer

So basically what you're telling us is you're one of those not so pretty, not so slim women that guys don't want to touch.😆

Yes, there are guys like that. But by the same token the same thing can be said about the majority of the women on this site. I actually listened to one woman on here say, "I only date avg. guys like Chris Hemsworth". Talk about delusional.😆

You women ignore a dozen guys (well maybe not you, but attractive women) only to choose a guy that if you're honest with yourself is out of your league. Then you wonder why he f***s you and then tosses you aside.🤦‍♂️😆 this ain't rocket science but somehow your gender still f***s it up routinely. Then after repeating this pattern you claim ALL guys are this way. It's f***ing hilarious to watch.😆

HarveyLaw · Answer

Imho, it is a matter of focus and goals for both men and women. After a certain age, and lots of scars, people realize that truly meaningful relationships are much more related to chemistry and connection than being into certain beauty standards. It is a big problem when people reduce themselves to their looks or use similar criteria for either seeking someone special and allowing themselves to be this someone special to other people.

overlord337645 · Answer

truth is dating is hard and my high standards do make it hard but thats ok because without them I would not find a partner I want in truth if my partner cannot rise to my standards I should not be dating them anyone worthwhile has to meet them I do not care if I have to wait for it however I do care that they share my core values are a kind person and treat me and others with respect these are non negotiables and if my partner cannot accept or follow them they have no place in my life

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

"Men are always complaining  on here  about blablabla" I'm on GaG since less than one year, prior to that, I hardly ever heard about any man complaining. Which makes me think that this place might be a honeypot for a specific category of men.  I wouldn't and I can't use what I read on this platform as anything representative of men, because it contradicts my experience and observations about the average man.

zagor · Answer

No, it is pretty hard to meet ANY women. I go to a bar, 90% male and the few women are either with a guy or are old alcoholics. My favorite brewpub, where it WAS possible to socialize and there was a younger, friendlier crowd, went out of business. I go to church with my folks, and everyone is over 70. I go to the beach or pool - all families. The only places I know where there are single attractive women are the colleges, and they aren't really my demographic anymore.

Friendlybro79 · Answer

Whatever you're observing isn't able to answered with more than some men aren't realistic. Just like some women. Some women are completely unreasonable and unrealistic because in total some people are just this way.

Anytime you have a similar question that asks why do men or women behave like xy and z... it's just the same answer. It's just how some people are and that's why things are difficult in general.

Leon1 · Answer

Standards for women are already so low, modern western women are a shadow of their grandmas. Men on the other hand are still paying for dates and doing all that jazz.

But of course the issue is always put back on men’s standards, because reality is it’s us that lift the world, invent the aeroplane, electricity and all the little toys you use at home while you cuss em out.

Pohjolan · Answer

I don't think that most men have high standard. Like not wanting to someone obese or a single parent isn't a high standard for either men nor women.

However you would have found more people who took care of their bodies 50 years ago before fat positivity became fashionable.

Apple1996 · Answer

Yep most mens standards are out of control. They have a laundry list of standards that not even a super model could meet yet compalin when women have a bare minimum standards of just wanting a man who has a job and brushes his teeth

Vegasrunner · Answer

Dating will always be difficult for men he seek one woman. Women are simply a numbers game the more you approach the more you get. When I was a VIP host on the strip years ago. I would approach 200 - 300 women a day. I would get rejected 90% of the time but that translated to 100-150 different girls a week.

SamWinchester058 · Answer

Men shouldn't complain, period. Instead they should focus on their purpose. Make themselves the best they can be for themselves, not for women. Everything else should be 2nd. Maybe the world is unfair to both sexes. But so what? It's like complaining about the wind blowing and expecting it to change. You're wasting your breath. I say find your purpose, push towards it, and the WOMEN will find you.

Nikki1989 · Answer

It is true that some men are their own worst enemies.  They whine about their failures with relationships, without ever considering that THEY might be the problem.

genericname85 · Answer

nope. data from dating sites show that men actually have wa lower standards than women do. while men swipe 50% of women right, women only swipe 10% and less of men right.

Kaneki05 · Answer

Pretty sure I have the opposite of high standards but ya know... I am sure that's the problem lol

Cormac995 · Answer

No, it's actually often the other way around.

Anonymous · Answer

Really? Men have low standards. They will fuck anything.

Anonymous · Answer

All of my loves were unrequited - When I was 18, when I was 25, when I was 30, when I was 35... and now, when I'm too old for a relationship.

I never had a date, never had a kiss, still a virgin

Think about it.

ilistengood · Answer

Lol yeah that's where a lot of guys i know run into problems.

Luopio27 · Answer

I agree with your post! The men who get rejected all the time are the ones that only go go for super model types!

Anonymous · Answer

Guys have their normal, legitimate expectations. It's difficult to also date plain women, not only pretty girls. Frankly, I find it easier with pretty girls than for average women.

blackeagle007 · Answer

Is this a joke? Usually it’s women with high standards. You all only go for the top 5 percent of guys

grega239 · Answer

So men should date women they aren't attracted to?

Anonymous · Answer

Make a profile on a dating site as a guy and see how it goes.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

With my good looks and brains, OF COURSE I have high standards !!!

Anonymous · Answer

You can't understand men. Don't care about them at all.

spartan55 · Answer

You have this completely backwards.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

Ell oh ell!

foxsquirrell · Answer

What high standards? You (girls) make it hard. Guys are the easiest thing ever for a date.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Dating is hard?

In_Trance · Answer

No, it's hard because of women's high standards

Jeff51 · Answer

No. I'm pretty easy going.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

And women don't?

MrZameer · Answer

I don't know who do this

Is dating hard for men simply because of their high standards?

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Is dating hard for men simply because of their high standards?

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