What do men quantify as effort from a woman in relationships?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

Evidence that he is important to you in your thinking. That you are making it clear that he is someone you care about. By making time for him. Showing him the real person underneath. A million little things that show that you care; that he's someone you think about as a matter of course; that you seem to want to make time for him. Not letting anything seem one-sided insofar as the amount of effort he is putting into a relationship.

I worry you might be asking the wrong question. Effort in a relationship essentially looks the same whether it's a guy or a girl. But..."effort" should be... effortless. It should just sorta happen naturally, for the most part.

The exceptions being, if you've been together for a long time (like a few years, and have started to essentially take each other for granted). And right at the begining. Like in the pre-relationship stage, or the first week or something. But early enough, that nobody is clear on what the other expects (and therefore unclear on how much effort they should put in, to not scare them off, but also let them know you're interested).

Other than that, the effort is generally just... something you don't have to think too hard about. You WANT to make time for them. You DO think about them as a matter of course. etc.

It shouldn't take "work" for the other person to know you're putting an effort into the relationship. Not usually anyway.

[Chazmatazz269]

“ Every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life are based on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.” ~ Albert Einstein


All relationships are this way. If you are not exerting yourself to ensure that your partner feels that you value them as much as you feel valued by them, you are doing yourself and your relationship a grand disservice.


The young’ns seem to be saying “Match that energy”. I think it basically means the same thing.


I’m a simple man. I do lots of little things somewhat randomly to demonstrate that i care about someone. A woman can similarly do little things to reciprocate.

[ProbablyClueless]

Making time for me. Asking about my day. Telling me about her's. Respecting my wishes and interests. Making a point to present herself as being with me in front other people.

Showing up and being present is a really big thing for me in relationships.

[SecretsofKB]

Honestly, these are such "basic" things, but they make a world of difference in any relationship. I feel like they should be present in all relationships. Mutual respect.

[ProbablyClueless]

@SecretsofKB They really do! It says so much (and so much louder) when someone doesn't do them.

[Anonymous]

Like woman to woman it probably varies from guy to guy. But in general most guys are pretty simple. Guys are self sufficient, we don't need a woman in our lives, but we want a woman in our lives. Guys are natural problem solvers that are made for work. So we work to make the woman we're with happy (so long as that is possible)😆. It's not that guys are lazy on thier own. But as I said before, guys are simple. A woman usually helps focus our energy. So really the only thing we look for in a partner is someone we know supports our efforts. Some that's in the fight (of life) with us. Someone that as @probablycluless said someone that's present. Someone that wears our relationship proudly. Because when everything works like it's supposed to, a woman can be a guy deepest well of strength.

[Nikki1989]

What one man values as “effort” might differ significantly from another, depending on his personality, upbringing, and individual needs.

[Zack-Bann]

The same as women expect from men really


It’s a two way street:
Love, respect, support, oral sex, appreciation, pride in the relationship, assistance when needed…
The usual stuff

[DannyUk2017]

To keep her mouth shut, Give us Space/Peace! No moaning every 5 minutes! 🤷‍♂️, we are simple creatures!

[slatyb]

There is no "what" ? It's different for every couple. If he's keeping score, that's your sign to leave.

[Godihateyou]

The bare minimum. Expecting more is pure fantasy