Have I been rejected here or is she simply testing me to see if I'm good fit for her?

[Anonymous]

[Zack-Bann]

I’ve had prostate exams that were more intimate than this conversation


It felt like a business transaction
You broke every rule in texting a girl you want to date


First:
NEVER ask questions that can close the door on you: never say “would you be open to a relationship” no girl wants to flat out answer that
Just assume the answer is yes unless told otherwise


Second:
Never ask “when are you free” girls are notoriously horrible at selecting dates and making up schedules
Just make a suggestion:
“Wanna meetup? I can do Friday or Sunday. Which one sounds better?”
That way you’re giving her options but also choosing the dates yourself not leaving it up to her.


And wtf is up with that “x” at the end of the sentences.
It’s girly.
Let her do it
But don’t reciprocate it.
Keep your messages simple and maybe use the occasional emoji but not any one just these: 😏🙃😉👌🏼


And flirt. Make jokes. Make it interesting
Don’t have a flat emotionless transaction with the girl
Make her want to see you

[Asker]

Why would I assume already that she does want a relationship that sounds very egotistical.
You can only really do humor in person not on a device. Where's the emotion in that?

[Zack-Bann]

You can have humor over text it’s not complicated

And assuming attraction is effective not egotistical
Humility doesn’t get you very in these situations. You need to be bold. Even at the risk of misreading the room

That’s to say disrespect the woman’s boundaries. You should absolutely ensure consent to everything you do

But don’t ask for validation of emotions before even meeting

Basically don’t put the woman on the spot to define the “relationship”
Just go with the flow. Make the date happen see if she likes you and you her
And go from there

[Chazmatazz269]

You haven’t been rejected, but she’s definitely leading you on.
She’s not even the tiniest bit invested in the conversation. There isn’t a single question for you. Not a single complete sentence. And the nonsense outnumbers actual words.
You have to be a moron or a masochist to chase after something like that.

[Genie23]

God, She's barely putting any efforts. You're the one asking her questions, you're typing the whole sentence everytime while she's not even typing four letter word "yeah" 😬 Did she ever ask you anything about yourself to get to know you better or was it just you who ask her questions?

Also, unless she's super busy individual, I don't think it's that unpredictable or difficult to pick a day you could have few hours free time so you could go out on a date.

I don't think she is that into you. I could be wrong, though. If I were you, I wouldn't keep texting her. I would let her approach me to see if she's interested and wait for her to tell me the day she's free so we could go out.

[ChiTown33]

My sentiments exactly. But in his defense this is pretty common with most women on dating apps. For a lot of guys it's this level of effort or nothing at all. This is why I typically let women on online apps contact me. Because the sheer number of dry holes a guy drills on dating sites make an exchange like this seem promising believe it or not.🤣

[Genie23]

@ChiTown33 Promising...😅🤣🤣 I understand and appreciate men taking initiative when it comes to dating as I'm one of those women who would never approach only because I get nervous and shy.
So, it's good if a guy is making efforts but you don't want to come across as too eager because if you keep contacting her all the time while she barely talks or seem busy. What if she just joined a dating site to see whether she would like anyone enough to go out on a date and see how things go from there, you'll freak her out if you tell her I want something long term. I've been approached by guys in person and online and I was told in the first conversation or first few conversations that they want to settle down soon. I was much younger still trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life and what kind of guy I even want, I got scared but I told them honestly that I'm not even sure I want those things that they want. So, talk casually rather than be intense in first few conversations.

That's really smart. Waiting for them to initiate instead that way you know she's interested as well. Sure, there aren't many women who makes a move but those who knows you know they aren't wasting your time. 😁

[ChiTown33]

No I agree. That's why I said ONLINE I do that. I would approach women in person. But in person you have nonverbal clues to go off of. Online you have no clue. And yes, I was just trying to impress upon how many women online are just window shopping. Yes you're going to miss out on a few good eggs who would NEVER message you first. But I consider that acceptable losses. I would fully expect the guy to step up AFTER she messaged him. Yeah the whole point was so he doesn't burn himself out on women who had minimal or no interest. Because you want to be at the top of your game so to speak when you meet your match.👍

Yeah I've had women want to meet me after 3 sentences. I've also had women not want to meet me after 2 weeks of messaging. So you have to play it by ear.

[Genie23]

@ChiTown33 Exactly! It's indeed easy to tell who is interested in you in person. Regardless who makes an effort first online or in person, the other person should also step up if they're interested. Don't give false hope if you have no intention to even go out. Man, that window shopping comment made me chuckle but also surprised because it makes me think some women just like to see how appealing guys find them.

Not wanting to meet after two weeks of conversation? That's confusing as heck. I'll never understand women even though I am one, lol But glad you know how to play the field 🧐

[ChiTown33]

I probably should've worded that different. I don't play the field. I simply meant you don't want bad conversations or dead end conversations (ill feelings over the people who waste your time) carrying over to another woman who doesn't deserve it.👍

[Genie23]

@ChiTown33 Oops. I thought it meant something different turns out I was wrong lol.

[Genie23]

Yeah, I get it and I agree. I hope the QA doesn't put too much efforts on this person.

[Asker]

It seems like she wasn't being serious because she still didn't say anything.

[Genie23]

I'm sorry to hear that. I'd not text her again. There are plenty of interesting girls out there, I'm sure you'll find someone great. You should make efforts for someone else instead, not with this person. Wish you the best!

[Asker]

Doesn't seem like they want commitment.

[Asker]

My profile name is dan_5001 as you can see by my thumbnail I'm not exactly conventional attractive.

[Genie23]

It's okay. Her loss.. At least be relieved that she didn't waste your time by going out on dates and only to turn you down when you ask her to be your girlfriend. I'm sure there are many girls out there who would rather be in a committed relationship than casually date guys or just give false hope.

I disagree. I think you look great. Don't sell yourself short.

[Asker]

That's usually not what Caucasian women think of me. I've gotten so used to being called ugly fucker, or butters. That I expect it from most apart from the black community. But sadly they only ever want friendship & sex & nothing more out of me.

[Genie23]

Sound like you met too many immature, rude and obnoxious people. Sure, we cannot find everyone good looking but to call someone all that is just horrible and uncalled for.

But I know what it's like when someone passes mean comments on looks for no reason. But you can't let their words affect you.

Some people will find you attractive. Some won't and that's okay. Passing mean comment is not. So, hell with them. Now you feel that girls from black community only want you for either hookup or just to be friends with and that caucasians don't find you attractive. Just because you met some people from those communities who weren't interested in you doesn't mean you won't find one or that you're don't look good. Just have some confidence and be patient. You're still very young. You have plenty of time to meet someone. Love will find a way to you someday. (in many cases it happens when you least expect it)

[Asker]

I don't think you realize it but Caucasian women are meant to abuse me for being unappealing facial/physical. I am well aware that I don't look like a conventional white man & that their comments are correct about me.

[french_omelette]

Personally, I find unique features really attractive, and on behalf of caucasian women I can say that there are plenty of girls that would find unconventional faces attractive

[Genie23]

Don't take this the wrong way, QA... But I really think you need to seek therapy. We can't really help you when you're stuck and fixated on things that happened in the past made you feel so worthless that you feel you are meant to be abused.

I've been bullied by girls and I've heard too many comments on my face, smile , laugh, body, complexion, etc and I put up with their comments rather than speak up as I was feeling lost, but I never felt "oh, I must be ugly so I am meant to be treated that way." I never felt worthless because I kind of knew some immature people enjoyed putting me down as it made them feel better about themselves.

Now if few mean people made you believe you are ugly and won't find a good partner then you really need to talk to someone about this because it's not your looks but your overthinking and your lack of confidence and patience that are problematic. They'll guide you on how to overcome this issue.
Desperation and self hate and resignation none of these will attract any girl so you need to fix that. Sorry, if you think I'm being blunt but that's the truth.

Wishing you the best.

[Asker]

@Genie23 I did last yr but she couldn't help me.

[Asker]

@french_omelette There really isn't a Caucasian women in society that would , they just follow the beauty standards that the media tells them is correct.
Just look at my thumbnail photo @Dan_5001 and you understand why they are disgusted by my appearance.

[french_omelette]

As a caucasian woman, i really avoid the beauty standards of today

[french_omelette]

and what is that thumbnail from? i dont have social media sorry

[Genie23]

@QA I don't know how many sessions you took but healing takes a while. Therapy isn't a quick fix. You need to give it some time. Rest is upto you. Wishing you nothing but the best.

@French_omelette He meant to say just check out his profile picture on this website. You can check it out by typing his username in search engine or just type- www.girlsaskguys.com/user/(his username). com.

[Asker]

@Genie23 your telling me 12 months ain't enough?

[french_omelette]

If that's you, then you definitely need therapy for body dysmorphia or something because first of all, it seems like you fit the beauty standards. You have like a magazine cover face. When I was searching you up I was thinking of the ugliest man I could think of, but you honestly look like an above average guy. What you're dealing with is trauma with women in the past and trust me it has nothing to do with your looks. It's normal for women to insult men's looks even if the men are good looking, just insulting appearance is the easiest thing to insult. You need to learn to respect yourself more and not listen to what they say, after all, you need to love yourself before someone can love you. I think the reason that a lot of girls don't want commitment is because maybe they can tell how insecure you are. You don't need to start by changing your appearance, but do whatever makes you feel the most confident, the gym is pretty empowering. What you need is cognitive therapy to change your thinking patterns

[french_omelette]

Believe me, insulting physical appearance is a typical, go to thing, it's not even about you or how you look

[Asker]

@french_omelette
I have no problem with myself. It just means that they won't think differently regardless.

[Genie23]

@QA I’m not saying 12 months isn't enough. For some people, it is. But for others, it takes longer- especially if the hurt runs deep or if you haven’t found the right therapist or approach yet. It’s not about the number of months, it’s about how supported you felt in the process.

Healing doesn’t fit into a certain timeline but I do believe that with the right support, things can shift.
Things in your life will change the day you change the way you feel about yourself and gain some confidence. Confidence is attractive. Self loathing and being stuck in the past isn't.

[french_omelette]

There is no effort on her behalf, she's interested but probably just because of your height, she is slightly curious as to what you are like but she is definitely not giving you her full attention, she is texting a million other guys and giving you the same default replies she gives them. I appreciate you actually going on a date and getting to know her before committing to anything though, that says a lot

[LavenderHaze]

It doesn’t look like you’ve been rejected or that she’s testing you. It simply looks like she has to get back to you to check what days she will be free. If it’s been a while since she responded, I would suggest checking back in if you want to pursue this.

[Asker]

Right, I know that sometimes you girls don't always say what you mean when it comes to texting & just wanted other women's perspectives.

[LavenderHaze]

That’s totally fine. I would take her word for it if I were you and just check in again if you don’t hear anything back. Best of luck!

[Asker]

I responded with a simple "great I look forward to hearing from you" xx

& Won't be responding again until she reaches out.

[LavenderHaze]

Sounds good! Hopefully she will respond soon.

[Asker]

Her response was "yh xd".

[Cormac995]

When a girl has a height requirement to be "Good enough to date" she's a red flag. They're always shallow and have a shit personality. Run bro. It's the male version of saying "I don't date a girl unless she's at least a D cup." When you look at it that way it makes her sound like a misandrist bitch doesn't it?

[Asker]

What other things besides height?

[Cormac995]

I don't know you only showed like 5 texts, but I've never met a girl that had a height "Requirement" that wasn't a total bitch. Hight preference is one thing requirement is different it's a telltale sign she's selfish and shallow in my experience.

[Asker]

Would owning a car or house at a very young age be one?

[Cormac995]

Not necessarily but I've met a lot of successful people that are jack assess, and, in my experience, most successful people get where they are by stepping on others. Not everyone who is successful is a bad person but whenever I see someone with a nice car my hackles stand on end until I know I can trust them.

[BonzoInBitburg]

There is nothing about this to indicate she's interested. There's 3 one word replies and zero back and forth conversation. This looks more like an interview than a conversation. If she wanted to have a conversation with you, she'd ask a question or two.

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, she's just laying on the couch swiping left and right with the Lifetime Channel on in the background. No intent to ever follow through in real life. Just fantasy entertainment like porn.

[Effably]

Apart from her award for Worst Texter it seems fine. Rookie mistake asking her to pick a date instead of picking one and asking if she is free that day and time, but other than that it is fine.

[Vegasrunner]

That was tough to read. You're not being rejected you're being dismissed Your entire message string canceled you out step by step. you never ask a women if she's willing to have a long connection. Just find another and try again.

[Asker]

Same thing. But this is how Caucasian treat me anyway like shit. Then why did she swipe right?

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker You're asking me to answer a question with limited information provided. Based on what you did provide you seems, desperate, needy and inexperienced. If I were you I'd lose her number and start over.

[Asker]

Inexperienced obv never had a girlfriend.

[Asker]

Desperate no : sex is phone call away. I want a girlfriend for to start a family.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker We both know that's not true, unless you speaking of paying for a prostitute. Men don't go out and seek a girlfriend, it's on the women to reach out to be the guys girlfriend.

[Asker]

In what universe does that happen unless you've had a golden spoon your entire life like a nepo?😂 No I am friends with someone that does friends with benefits, but have been with said above too before.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker In this universe. The way it works is you just keep seeing the girl and going about you life, maybe a date a week, or maybe she comes over. If you're doing everything right and you have value, eventually she ask you what are we? Then you decide how to proceed. If you haven't learned by now, being thirsty isn't going to help you get a girlfriend

[Asker]

That does not happen even if you have value & haven't done anything wrong. These toxic concepts & communities that you see online like for example simps or mgtow they wouldn't be a thing if that was the way.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker That's the only way it happens but as you said you're inexperienced so how would you know?

[Asker]

Going by the experience that guys that ik have been through, some have been able to.

[Vegasrunner]

@Asker You're making a life decision based in 3rd Part anecdotal evidence?

[Aakash_Hangargi]

As mostly everyone pointed out she isn't intrested you maybe a backup.

Better you switch to someone who will at least have a real conversation that would genuinely want to know you otherwise there is no meaning.

[Shiprex]

The low effort she is putting in isn't a test it's a red flag of don't waste your time lad, she's testing your patience and unless you're up for being a doormat then tell her you're out.

[Staximus]

Seems like she's making the minimal effort and is not really into the conversation. If you've never met this girl in person then I wouldn't worry about it too much

[Staximus]

You asked her to go on a date and she said she will let you know what days she's free, so the ball is now in her court. She knows what day she's free, she's playing games. I would just not message her again until she messages again.

[Gaylordslav]

she's putting in a lot of effort there I can already tell she's attracted to you

[Gaylordslav]

@Harris_Lover if a girl likes you she will be enthusiastic to talk to you, want to be near you, touch you and sexualize herself in your sight. This guy is being toyed with for her ego and or used for a meal. Ikr?

[Anonymous]

Can't you read?

[Twalli]

She probably doesn't know the days she's free yet.

[msc545]

You are chatting with a scammer or a bot.

[Godihateyou]

Is she retarded? I think you can do better

[Anonymous]

Yes, I think she's just testing you.