Men want to feel needed?

[Anonymous]

Men say they want to feel needed but when you ask for help it's a no. So then what do you guys want? I asked my boyfriend I wanted to wash and clean my car and maybe he can help me, his response was babe I love you and all but I definitely not in a mood to clean a car..

[DishLady]

It depends on when and how you’re asking.


If you’re nagging, bonus most likely what you’ll get. Nobody wants to give into a whiny nagging person.


Some guys are also a bit contrary and get off on seeing your feisty upset side before they appease you by doing what you’ve asked.


But I asked a guy to do something for me the other day and when he realized how arduous the task was I said THAT was why I asked the big strong guy to do it… It made him feel recognized and manly enough to actually go through with the task. He then declared the task was complete and I said he was my hero. Guys love to be seen in a heroic, masculine light. They like the recognition and ACTUALLY don’t get much of it. I don't know why. They’d rather die than ask for it too… smh.


(Girls, by contrast, also like to feel needed but know to ASK for recognition if it’s not openly offered.)

[Summeroflove]

All men are different I don’t want to feel like someone NEEDS me. In a way I guess I want to feel needed. But I would much rather have someone who just genuinely wants me because she loves me. Not because she’s needing me because as soon as that needs gone or she finds someone else I will be left in the dust as well as probably cheated on.

For all men what they want is different don’t focus on pleasing all men because you can’t. Same as men shouldn’t try to please all women. Figure out what you’re wanting out of a relationship and find someone compatible.

If someone needs me for financial reasons chances are if I loose my money, she becomes financially independent, or she finds someone with more money. She’s gone… Because she’s not with me because she genuinely loves me and wants to be with me. For any other reason as well I don’t want a woman who can’t wipe her own ass and needs a man to do everything for her. No thanks…

[HawkPerception]

We want to feel needed in the sense of doing something you cannot do. Opening the jar because it's too tightly shut, reaching something you can't, lifting something you can't, building something because it's much more difficult for you, etc.

A car wash isn't absolutely necessary unless you can't even see through the windows of your car, and it's something that a woman (you) can do yourself. I probably wouldn't be inclined to wash a car if my partner told me to either. I'd think that she's being a bit too demanding.

Men lean more towards getting things done when they HAVE to be done and not when their partner tells them to do it.

[ProbablyClueless]

We like to feel needed, but we don't like to be given busy work. If you can wash your car yourself, I'm not going to be thrilled about being expected to take time out of my day to clean your car just because you don't feel like doing it yourself.

My love language isn't a "honey do" list.

[Asker]

I see what you mean, this makes more sense but still I got a bit upset with his text. If anything the car was going to get g the drive through and then the vacuuming was going to be much since my car is clean. If anything the company would have been nice but with that response

[ProbablyClueless]

I feel ya. He might just be tired or in a generally bad mood today. Maybe you could directly say that you’re looking for his company next time, just to eliminate any misinterpretations.

[Asker]

True you’re right

[slatyb]

I don't want to feel needed. I want to feel wanted by a woman who is free to leave me. But I do wonder how hard it is for two people to clean a car. It seems like a simple request. Does he commonly refuse to help you when asked?

[Asker]

I mean I wanted him to help me install my dash cam and he said no to that but didn’t tell me what day would work better but he did help me put in my filters in my car

[Shiprex]

Just helping doing stuff so you don't HAVE to isn't the answer. Want to be NEEDED in the ways that you can't do something yourself.

[SamWinchester058]

Seems like being needed as a labor slave wasn't his idea of being needed. Maybe talk to him about it instead of random strangers on the internet? I don't know.

[Asker]

I know and I am texting him just wanted to hear from a men perspective

[RedInnocent69]

No, we want to feel desired. Big difference

[Asker]

True but still want to feel needed in a way

[RedInnocent69]

Sure, but needed for tasks, unless it’s rail me to an orgasm

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Speaking for myself, no. I'm secure enough in my ego.

[Tom567456]

Double standard