Why should girls and women be forced or encouraged to date their male friends?

[Anonymous]

We shouldn’t have to be forced to date the guy that’s been there for us since day one, UNLESS we had feelings for them back. If we don’t have feelings and we’re honest, you can’t get angry at us. If a boy or man rejects a girl or woman, people support that but females we get shit for it.
My parents like my guy friend and kept a telling me he “obviously likes me”. I told them if he did, he isn’t the one for me and I’m not attracted to him. My dad told me to stay away from them popular guys or the most good looking guys because they will break my heart. I should give guys like my guy friend a chance. He isn’t the most attractive guy, tall and chubby (losing weight) but still. I’m a tall heavy chubby person myself. I never understood why he like me over the slim, cute girls. Even good looking girls didn’t appeal to him. He always sat next to me, followed me around before we became friends (back in 1st grade) and I got irritated and yelled at him to stop following me and follow another girl. Even some of our high school teachers noticed that he’s asked me to the dance SEVERAL TIMES. And to prom twice. I went to prom with him once but only as a friend. I did go with him to the dance once too because no other guy would go with me. Even cute guys wouldn’t even look at me and looked that the petite, average height slim girls.
anyways to adulthood, he joked that I was his girlfriend after my dad asked if he snagged a woman yet. Then he told him it’s okay if he doesn’t have a girlfriend and he got himself a very good, beautiful woman. I’m smart and intelligent.

We’re not really dating. Im afraid if I start seeing another guy, my parents would get angry at me for hurting my guy friend but we’re not dating, he hasn’t asked me out and doesn’t call me everyday. Not that I want him too. He texts me sometimes. If he really like me he would ask me out.

I am allowed to date other men right?

We’re both autistic.

Updates

11 mo

I’m allowed to date whoever I want and if my guy friend doesn’t like it, then bummer for him. I need a guy that is on the same level as me. I work, go to school and mostly independent. My guy friend is a little independent, but still needs guidance, goes to a day program and has no job. I need a man that is also working. We both live with our parents. I don’t understand why my parents said it’s better for me to date a man that’s also autistic and understands me like my guy friend.

[fmac718]

You shouldn’t be forced to do anything by anyone. Just make it clear to him how you feel about him and move on. Then he can decide if he wants to continue being your friend or not. Boundaries need to be communicated.

[Asker]

I did tell him but he won’t accept it. My friends told me even if he didn’t ask me out, still tell him before I meet another guy because it isn’t fair to move on to another guy knowing he likes me. He should get the point that. I don’t like him that way

[fmac718]

You have every right to choose who you want to be with. Keep looking for your person and it’s up to you if you want to keep him as a friend or not. He sounds annoying.

[Daniel707]

Nobody should be forced to date anyone. If someone was forced to date me it wouldn’t be genuine

[Anonymous]

Fellow autistic person here , it is good to have someone who understands you cuz people can be mean , if you don’t like the guy you don’t like the guy , but don’t crush the poor man.

[Asker]

I’m not going to crush him. I let him down nicely before but he won’t accept it. What do you mean poor man? Do I only need to date autistic men? I’m sick of people telling us autistic people what to do and who to date.

[Opinion Owner]

Im saying as an autistic person the non neurodivergent people aren’t always nice

[Asker]

So? Not all of them are like that. I shouldn’t have to date only autistic men? Fuck that! I’m sick of being told to only stick to neurodivergent men. Neurotypical women are allowed to date neurotypical men and not women like me? That isn’t fair!

[Opinion Owner]

I didn’t say you weren’t allowed to did I? You’re very abrupt

[Asker]

No but I’m just saying.

[Opinion Owner]

I understand , you have not been rude about it tho

[Subtle_Luminescence]

They shouldn't.

[Asker]

Exactly! Just because I’m autistic doesn’t mean I have to date an autistic man.

[jahaims]

You are just ranting/projecting.