Do you think the breakup and makeup phenomenon should be reserved for after marriage?

[Vneila21]

Before I woke up (got out of bed,) I imagined what my response would be if someone asked me out. I prefer laying all cards out before it becomes official (not talking about my life story at the moment). In this scenario, I mentioned that I date to marry and have specific boundaries that he needs to follow as my boyfriend. Then I'll paraphrase what I said, "If we break up, that is it. No hate." I believe I have a purpose to fulfill on Earth and it's not just one. There are mountains to overcome with it. Anyway, I just think about life as I live it.

[Zack-Bann]

I think as soon as someone else is involved with either party after the breakup it’s over


If it was a short break up and both parties still felt faithful to one another then it was only a fight and it’s fine to get over it


A few years back I went out with a girl who was reluctant at first but eventually threw herself at me
we had a wild weekend. Did unspeakable things one another


Then I learned she was freshly broken up with a long term boyfriend she had just moved in with.
And the guy was driving himself crazy to get her back. Threatening suicide and such


So she asked me if I intend to date her long term or if she should go back to him


I told her it was too soon for us to plan for the future like that.
And if she wants immediate stability I won’t stand in her way with him
But my opinion was she should stay single and let us progress slowly towards something


She went back to him
And since then every few months she drunk dials me or calls me “by mistake” and after asking how I am she starts telling me how she can’t even look him in the face let alone be intimate with him after experiencing what she experienced with me
Suddenly he’s truly ugly and crapy in bed


Imagine that: their relationship will never fully recover.
She will probably name her dildo after me
And after years of marriage wonder about the road not taken
It’s no way to live


Which is why I wouldn’t break up and make up with a girl if in the meantime another guy got a go at her (even if it’s not cheating since she was single)

[Vneila21]

I hear ya, that's unfortunate.

[HusamRocks]

If you want the best outcome of your relationship, let it be marriage, don't get involved in any relationship unless it's marriage, and of course there is time before getting married to get to know the person first 👍🏻

[Nikki1989]

If you are planning those games, you have chosen badly and should never have been married in the first place.

Furthermore, some people are simply NOT marriage material, they don't have the relationship skills to make it work.

[alli-112]

I mean, I don't think it's a particularly good process to be on and off with anyone. If anything, it'd be worse if you're married.

[Vneila21]

Of course, that is likely. :)

[ohsheeT]

Wow this is deep and Interesting

[WonderingManII]

I think everyone who is in a relationship must choose to continue the love or not continue it. If you choose to continue it, you will going through ups and downs with it. Sometimes you will feel like you love them, and sometimes you will feel like you hate them. That is where, I think, breakup and makeup comes into play.

21 Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

22 Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-22

[Vneila21]

Oh I'm pretty sure they'll get annoying. And you're right, forgiveness is a vital part of love. In worst cases, making up can propel them to act the same way, in turn putting you in a cycle. Forgiveness will free you from getting affected by negativity but won't do anything with the offender.

[WonderingManII]

@vneila21
That is what you got to do in marriage. My parents thought about separating cause it gets hard. But people don't change for the better. You just got to put up with it.

[Vneila21]

Agreed

[WonderingManII]

@vneila21
As a Christian, if they cheat on you, you can divorce them. Some say if they are abusive, you can too.

[Gwendoline]

I think as a Catholic when you are married its for life

[wolverin38]

You should not be in a hurry

[Vneila21]

Oh, I know that! Thank you.