He told me he wasn’t into me anymore but just wanted to be friends after leading me on but is still trying to message me after I didn’t reply, why?

[Anonymous]

I don’t get why he is still messaging me, after he basically lead me on or at least I felt for a year. And the he met someone. He said he wanted to be “friends” and he cares about me and said sorry, and I didn’t reply because in my mind I’m sad but said to myself, it’s ok, your hurt, you will move on. It’s not like I’m blowing up his phone and acting crazy and bi*ching about it. I’m just sad, kinda angry, annoyed and all that but I’m keeping it to myself and not saying a word.

[Anonymous]

“And I’m keeping it too myself not saying a word”, that’s the problem, you expect him to be a mind reader. If you aren’t communicating how you feel to him then how would he know? Why are you so afraid of being a bit vulnerable? He probably feels bad because you pulled away but doesn’t know what happened. Saying that he should just know or whatever is an excuse, there’s tons of things that even you “don’t just know”.

[Asker]

I was just curious and I was just wondering that’s all. Yes I should be asking him why he still messaging me but I just came on here for opinions because I don’t know why he still messaging me when it’s what he wanted.

[Opinion Owner]

Nothing’s wrong with coming on here, that isn’t what I mean. I’m talking about all these things you’re feeling and have been feeling, but won’t communicate it to him for whatever reason is. Put yourself in his shoes, if he were secretly feeling led on, hurt, mad, confused, wouldn’t you want to know why? Wouldn’t you be confused as to why he just ghosted? Like this guy doesn’t know what’s wrong with you and is trying to find out because it was so abrupt. You don’t owe him an explanation, you can continue handling the whole situation how you have been. But the reason why he’s reaching out and confused in general is clear as day.

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like he maybe wants a friends with benefits relationship. Were you two sexually involved?

[Asker]

Yes we were.

[Alex-Snow]

It sounds like he s missing the sex. Would u be open to a friends with benefits with him or are you ready to move on?