Guys, Someone's trying to tell me an older guy wants me because other females his age don't want him?

[Lalalove11]

I haven't seen any evidence to really support that I mean, in my eyes, there are many nuances. Is there any truth to this person's statement? I'm 25 he's 34.

[RHK36]

I don't do things based on what other people tell me. I learn the hard way and through my own experience. I usually have a good detector for bs. There's not enough info to say otherwise, but odds are he is single for a reason. There's no such thing as that much bad luck. It always takes two to tango. Even if his track record is getting treated like shit there's a reason it keeps happening and some of that probably has to do with him.

[Lalalove11]

I don't know I've been single forever I know I'm only 25 but.. I guess I have no idea his dating history as we haven't talked about that. I don't know how long he's been single for etc.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

It's as true a statement as me telling you that there is a teapot orbiting around Mars?

More interestingly, I would wonder WHY they're choosing to form this statement, what's behind the scenes lol

[Lalalove11]

I'm not sure but also apparently the age gap is a red flag? I get that I should be wary and cautious but it's just kind of funny to me I don't know

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Well, you mean a red flag for you or in general? Cause age gap pros and cons are subjective, depends on your tolerance level

[Lalalove11]

Not really for me but people have pointed it out that it could be a red flag. That I could be taken advantage of.. but I've been taken advantage of by guys my age so I don't know risk is always gonna be there in my opinion

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I agree with you, age gap is not threatening for anyone per se, it is only threatening when someone is threatening, separate from age. But it's also logical that your friends, relatives etc. alert you on the matter. This is their role.

It's also a funnily gendered thing, as a man and a father, I'm leaning towards perceiving threats, by default, when the man is really older. Except that, in practice, what I have seen is a couple of young girls knowing exactly what they were doing with an older man, the man just didn't realize they were taking the lead 😂

[slatyb]

It's possible that older women see something you are not. What do you see in him? Is he a single father? Does he have a career? Is he financially stable, not deeply in debt? Is he emotionally stable?

[Lalalove11]

Well, he has no kids. He has a career. I don't know the answer to the other questions yet at all. He strikes me as someone calm but it's too early to tell.

[slatyb]

You are 25 and old enough to make up your own mind about him. Ignore the haters. If you like him, then date him and see. There are many happy age-gap marriages.

[Lalalove11]

Yeah agreed. I guess in somewhat surprised by people's responses but it's fine. I've dealt with previous bad relationships so I've gotten better at looking for red flags.

[bowenw]

It sounds fishy to me. There must be some reason they don't want him.

[Lalalove11]

Maybe, but to be fair I don't know if others don't want him too.

[bowenw]

Maybe ask the person who told you that for more details.

[Lalalove11]

Well he's just said he's close to 40 than my age so I'll ask. But do you really think it's that bad? I know some people in ages ago relationships that are very happy , and I don't want to let one thing override everything if it's not a huge red flag to me.. I don't know

[bowenw]

There are a lot of age-gap relationships that work very well. It can't hurt to meet him and see what he is like.

[HusamRocks]

He's been rejected for a reason 👍🏻

[Lalalove11]

Really who knows. what if he's been cheated on? So many variables.

[HusamRocks]

Then he's been cheating on for a reason 😅

[Lalalove11]

Aw man you don't think some people are just cheated on because humans are shitty? Haha I don't know

[HusamRocks]

I know that as a fact that some men get cheated on for a reason, and yes I might be wrong but 1 man against many women implicates the man is the problem

[Lalalove11]

Okay I'll keep it in mind

[Jeff51]

Doubt it