Does it make you insecure when your significant other has options?

[Summeroflove]

For me a long term relationship comes down to trust and loyalty. If I know a woman loves me and out of her options she chooses me. That says a LOT more then me simply just being the best house in a bad neighborhood.

Because chances are once someone finds better they’re gone.

[Purpleronnie]

Everyone should know they have options , there are over 9 billion of us on the planet … it’s also assumed that when an ‘adult’ relationship starts , both people are actively choosing to be with the other , not just through submission and are doing so in spite of any options they presently have or the potential of options down the line
Should a person have insecurities around their “self worth “ then any relationship is just going to apply pressure and cause the relationship to fracture and breakdown.
Starting a relationship when you’re not invested to benefit from parts of that relationship until “ better comes along “ is shallow and repulsive behavior and really damaging to the other assuming they are more invested and will only breed further insecurity down the line but clearly I accept this happens.


The only real defense is is deliberately taking the time at the start of something to get to know the other , measuring how their communication , behaviors , interest and actions to root out the insincere and un-naturally motivated.


In my opinion people are generally in too much of a hurry to get to the “fun” parts or a relationship without doing the work beforehand to protect themselves emotionally and or physically. Leaving yourself so wide open can only mean your more likely to invite which then perpetuates the cycle of insecurity etc

[SamWinchester058]

Monkey branching at its finest...

[Purpleronnie]

Your not wrong

[ChicoFromThe305]

For the most part almost every woman will probably have options, it's just much easier for women to have options than men, just find a loyal woman and it won't matter if she has options or not

[DishLady]

How tf is that your SO if they have options. We all theoretically can HAVE options if we allow it. Why would you be with such a loser? Pfft. I’d show that guy the door.

[Summeroflove]

Agreed. But some people become jealous or insecure. When obviously their SO chose them…

[TrueConfection]

Never take each other for granted.

Knowing my husband has options makes me feel more secure because I’m not his only option. It would be awful to just be better than nothing.

[jshm2]

LOL, not how it works.

If you are both shallow, or insincere - then of course they will move on when they see an opportunity.

But just like you're not going to buy a house every week, but take careful decisions to ensure you have the right thing, so it is with partners.

[Angelo75]

It does make me feel insecure.

But the behaviour is supposed to be stopped on BOTH sides.
Once you choose a partner, you're supposed to stick and fight for your relationship.
Having options means you're mentally having a backup plan on your relationship. But a relationship is supposed to be a lifetime commitment. So the very idea of having options should be off the table.

So if I were to find out that my S. O. is keeping "options", I would just pack up and leave.

[jazzy34]

The fact that he would even CONSIDER another woman (just one) would be enough for me to break up with him. You have options, huh? Go sample them all, asshole. -__-

[Summeroflove]

Not that he would consider. But the fact there are other women yet he stays loyal and doesn’t even consider it

[jazzy34]

"The fact that there are other women." That's him considering "hmnm, wonder what it will be like to be with her?"

[cora1]

No, they should have their own opinions, they’re a separate human.

[Summeroflove]

I agree. But there are some things that affect the relationship

[cora1]

Just realized I misspelled options. But she is lying if she says she doesn’t have options.

[blackeagle007]

You seem female

[Summeroflove]

Well most people do. The thing is if someone genuinely loves someone for who they are they won’t leave. If they do leave because they become unhappy they will be honest about it.

[TrimmedTip]

Insecurity creeps in when you confuse ‘options’ with ‘intent.’ If my partner has options but chooses me daily? That’s trust fuel. But if they flirt with those options ‘just because,’ it’s not insecurity—it’s self-respect kicking in.

Real love isn’t about being the ‘only option’—it’s about being the clear choice.

[OneViewpoint]

LOL, everyone always has options. Accept that. So do you. Be the best you can be. If the worst happens, accept it and move on. You fucked up. Learn from it.

[Abdulw]

Well women will always have options yes I'd always be protective of her.

[Summeroflove]

But if she’s choosing you…. You can’t stop someone from cheating. If someone’s going to cheat or leave they are going to. Once trust is lost. Just cut your losses and move on if you can’t work it out

[Rides_Big_Guys]

If my SO has options, I’m out. That’s not a mind frame to be in with your spouse. Grow up.

[blackeagle007]

You seem like a female

[SixFootSexy]

Women want to know they locked a man down, but the fact that other women want him also just makes her mate choice feel validated. I think guys are like this but not as much. As long as our friends don't think she's ugly it's probably fine.

[MikeTheBartender]

I date hot girls. They will always have options. But that being said, men are pigs, you can date the ugliest girl in your city or town and probably 20-100 people daily in her life want to hit it.

[lorenzomichael]

Nope not at all if she ever feels like she can do better and starts to think that I might not be the one I’m cool with that I wouldn’t stop her all I would say to her would be “Bye don’t forget to leave me Key on the way out.”

[dustybiker2]

No. I do not own them.

[Summeroflove]

I agree! I know that if someone genuinely wants to be with me they will be and I can’t stop someone from leaning.

If someone can’t leave you that’s not genuine

[Summeroflove]

But that’s just me

[dustybiker2]

If you think about it the more someone clings to you the less attractive they are. When you know someone trusts you those people are rare. You take care of them.

[Phoenix98]

If anything I would think it would make me feel better knowing that out of all the options she had she chose me over all the others.

[Anonymous]

I'm single, so I don't have to worry about that.

[exitseven]

No, I think it would be worse to know that she had no other options and was settling for me.

[slatyb]

No, it makes me happy they have chosen me.

[Panthero80]

It shouldn't if you have a strong relationship.

[LiamJHayden]

Everyone has options.

[juleyboo74]

No, means I picked a good one.