Should you feel insecure around your significant other and their family?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a few months. I’ve been a good girlfriend to him. I don’t do everything he expects from me. I’m still young, we aren’t married but I’m still not horrible to him. Whatever he ask from me I give or I’m there when he needs me. If he’s hungry and I’m not around I’ll order him food. If I know he’s been out late with his guy friends, though I don’t drive and he doesn’t have a car right now or isn’t working at the moment, which I don’t mind because I am, I always make sure he gets a Lyft or a Uber home. If he calls my phone at 2-3am telling me he can’t sleep, he has a problem sleeping alone, I’ll get up out my sleep and Lyft my way to him. I have even taken public transportation to his house a few times and I don’t live close to his home at all. I’m always staying the night at his house and I don’t complain about him never compromising and choosing to stay the night at my home some nights but it’s like whenever we have disagreements or arguments he’ll make comments about what I don’t do as his girlfriend despite what I have done and at first I wasn’t sure if he did that out of anger in the heat of the moment or if that was how he really Felt until one night while I was at his house his mom pulled me out of his room to “Talk” with me she mentioned how much he loves me and how he calls me his “wife” when I’m not around but supposedly he’s been telling her and the rest of his friends and family how he feels I don’t reciprocate that love. That I should start cleaning and cooking around his home, disregarding the fact that I don’t live there and I only come over because he wants me to and I know he’ll never stay the night at my house. Then she starts mentioning how he’s part Nigerian, which I knew already but she also says his dad is a rich Nigerian and that it’s plenty of women over there with money that would appreciate him so I should “Step it up” as if only his needs matter. I had never felt so insecure and uncomfortable in my life.

[Mickey9999]

It sounds as though you two are going to clash. He seems very old fashioned dominant and you sound to be more modern independent. He won’t change and you won’t either. i would seriously think about this relationship before you get too far in. And another thing do you want to be in a threatening relationship? He’s basically threatening you saying there’s rich women that would be happy with him... he’s manipulating. Be very wary of a future with him

[slatyb]

Get the hell out of this, They view wives as slaves to the husband and his family.

[Effably]

You sound like some sort of indentured mom. Not a girlfriend.

[Asker]

To me it just seems like he wants a mom rather than a girlfriend. Always telling me it’s my job and duty or wake him up with a motive and plan to motivate him and keep him going. That it’s my job to be his “peace” like some things I don’t mind doing. Encouraging him and being there for him but he expects me to be the reason he gets out of bed every morning with a plan to better his self and his life. I can be assistance but I feel
Like it isn’t my job to make him want better and more. He has to go out and get that on his own.

[idkwattoputhere]

Nope