Do you feel two insecure people can be together?

Question

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Well I’m inclined to say yes but both people have to be self aware and working on it , not just hoping that either or both will someone magically become secure through being a couple.

Should they not try the relationship will get extremely messy with constant need for reassurance , overthinking , clinging fear of abandonment, and avoidance of honest conversations. This may feel intense and can be wrongly interpreted because of the highs and lows but it’s just not a stable relationship.

Both need to be aware of their insecurities and face them head on , actively acknowledging them heir insecurities when they see it or hear it with what they say , like frequently monitoring and measuring yourself. A big part will be taking responsibility for their emotions - example “ you didn’t text me back for 4 hours , what did I do wrong? , are you not interested in me anymore? , “ vs. “ the other day when you don’t text me back for 4 hours , I felt really anxious , it’s something I’m working hard to change but I just wanted to be honest with you “ … you need to own your own feelings.

Should both people commit to working on themselves being honest , genuine , taking responsibility etc then over time they will become less insecure and more stable and the relationship would become stable and even start to flourish because of that.

Spencer10 · Accepted Answer

This is a good one... honestly I do not think this could work. I just cannot help but they will feed off each other and make the insecurities worse.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

Can they? Sure. My dad’s super insecure, he married an insecure woman, they both feed into each other’s insecurities in a way that makes them both feel better. Do I like my dad or stepmom? Not really, but I’m also an adult and no longer required to live under his roof so it works out.

thegreenyogi · Accepted Answer

They definitely can but I'm not sure what kind of relationship it will be. Will it be a healthy one? Probably not.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode messy hearts and turn red flags into green ones… or at least yellow ones 😉

Yes, two insecure people can be together, but only if they’re self-aware and working on themselves. If not, it turns into jealousy, overthinking, lovebombing, then ghosting or drama.

Therapy, honest communication, and clear boundaries can turn insecure into “growing together” instead of “destroying each other.”

ohsheeT · Answer

The best part about being insecure is knowing it because once you know it and you understand it you acknowledge it and then you can start working on becoming better it's just letting go and believing in yourself that you don't need anybody else's approval for anything and once you understand that and you truly love yourself nothing really matters this is your journey in life nobody else's so you have nothing to be insecure about all you have is you in this world and that's what people have to understand that's all we have is ourselves it's nice to have our parents or it's nice to have friends and we do have those but when it comes down to it all we have is ourselves and hopefully God and that's all you need but from the start until the are end Destiny it's nice to share it with somebody it really is it's one of the most beautiful things ever but even then all you truly have is yourself and there's a reason for that and it's no reason to be insecure about that at all

Summeroflove · Answer

Yes but I think it depends on how insecurity is expressed. If they communicate with one another and don’t take it out negatively it can work. Everyone has insecurities….. and your partner should be someone you can discuss that with. But in a healthy way

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

They can be, but it likely won’t last that long…

AviatorTom · Answer

Of course. Remember relationship math: 1 + 1 = 3

Cyfris · Answer

I don't see why not. Preferred method would be a more opposites attract situation where each persons strengths are the others weakness making for a strong more harmonious union long term. But if that was true about the other things in their life and the only commonality was insecurity I don't see any reason that couldn't be overcome. I think It would take two people who communicate very well because insecurity lives in the shadow of doubt so lighting up the darkness and leaving no room for doubt would likely negate the reason to be insecure about each other.

Anonymous · Answer

I think so. I think it just comes down to good/open communication, being accountable, and recognizing when you/your partner is being insecure and how to handle it. I think everyone is insecure to some degree, especially those who are empathetic.

I broke down in the car to my partner the other day, because I felt insecure in regards to my health, which I can't do anything about but I find is affecting our relationship. We had an open and honest conversation about it, and now I feel less insecure and supported. Also, when he's stressed he lets his insecurities get to him, and I call him on his behavior (in a supportive way) and we talk about it. We continue to learn what each of us needs, and how we both can handle stress better.

We do have these conversations more than I would like, but when thinking about the positives my partner brings to the relationship, they heavily outweigh the negatives.

sage2021 · Answer

It would be very hard to be in a relationship like that as you would keep questioning each other about every little insecurity and constantly having a to constantly have conversations about it.
That would be very tiring after a while. I couldn't do it! Nope!

MrChinaski · Answer

It's called 'co-dependence'. People propping up and sustaining each other's weaknesses instead of growing both individually and as a couple. It's just another way of wasting one's life.

Berethor · Answer

They can fit for each other because they similar, it might be hard for them to start talking.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't see any obstacle, and I think it's a probably common scenario

Abbycado · Answer

Eh, possibly. Probably not a good match. They would likely feed each other.

slatyb · Answer

Yes. Everyone is insecure about something, even people that are highly accomplished. Not a problem unless they make their insecurity a problem for others.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

Yes of course but it depends on how insecure they are, what it is they're insecure about. You can bring each other up, if you both are willing to listen to the other.

samael_kmarty · Answer

Secure + secure = high risk of cheat
Secure + insecure=high risk of cheat ( gaslighting,)
Insecure + insecure = mostly good relationship cAuse both of them can try to fight there insecurities. Not 1 v 1 it will turn to 2v world

beenherebefore · Answer

Only if they're understanding of each other's needs and willing to be as reassuring as they can.

NathanDavis · Answer

yes, I've seen it... and I had to look away every time... lol

CalmUntilAbused · Answer

Yes, absolutely. At this point it's the only possible pairing.

Nikki1989 · Answer

They could, but it would be a disastrous relationship.

lilBigPotato · Answer

It can work out but I believe in "opposite attracts".

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes. They can make each other feel more secure.

Starlux · Answer

I think it's difficult at first because you don't know eachother but as time goes on, as you become closer it'll be more and more relatable the more you discover eachother and the comfort settles in.

Shiprex · Answer

Yes as long as they develop a goal to be less insecure together

Wodens_Apprentice · Answer

Women hate insecure men full stop. They like their boyfriends to be emotionless drones & then wonder why they always get cheated on.

loveslongnails · Answer

Absolutely, I see it all the time; mutual dependency.

loveyouoak · Answer

Yes, they complement each other perfectly, like two halves of the same apple.

Anonymous · Answer

It could, but they would have to help resolve each other's issues.

LC75LC71 · Answer

Just as much as people that pretend they aren't insecure do.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Nope thats gonna be a problem one insecure person in a relationship is bad so you know 2 is super bad

Shy_Steve · Answer

I reckon those are the ones who are more likely to stay together.

LazloValenka · Answer

Sure they can. I think if they both openly talked about, they can grow together as people.

molonski2 · Answer

They can , but it will never be a good match..

OneViewpoint · Answer

Sure, it would be funny as hell.

queenofcardio · Answer

It's possible

Bricealan · Answer

@simslover92 could be a difficult matchup.

exitseven · Answer

yes, they can both be insecure together.

blackeagle007 · Answer

They would drive each other crazy

Anonymous · Answer

I don't think it would work out.

Zionne · Answer

possibly

dudeinohio · Answer

Sure.

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