Can two insecure people work in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend and I have only been together officially a month and we're both pretty insecure and anxious people. We both worry about everything and care a lot what people think of us and I think this comes out in the relationship. We kind of have to keep reassuring one another we're into them still, him more so than me, as he keeps saying I'm out of his league. He tells me I make him happy anyway that i've chosen him.
I'm a blunt person, with a blunt sense of humor and sometimes some of the things I worry have offended him due to his past but he jokes about it, mainly as a coping mechanism I think. I can laugh at myself, but I worry too much if I've hurt his feelings, even when he tells me I haven't. I tend to apologize a lot without realizing, and he jokingly tells me stop. He struggled to grasp at first that I was fine with his interests in nerdy crap, where in the past he was judged. Anyway, I'm worried that even though things are okay now, could this potentially be a destructive relationship? He told me that in arguments he needs to get out for the house, instead of communicating the problem. I can't work like that. I'm a very caring person so I support him and his struggles and he does with mine.
Does this sound like it can work?

[Scorpio962016]

Hello! Well based on my experience if both individuals are insecure I do not believe that the success of that relationship will be high! and this is based on my limited knowledge and experience because; insecurity will bring a lot of trust issues with both parties not feeling secure in the relationship which will only perpetuate doubt on both sides. Why spend so much time in your relationship feeling insecure? And unsure and just afraid all the time? You want a relationship where you feel secure, safe and just trusting of one another. Therefore, in your scenario you both are similar in that spectrum in that you share similar fears and insecurities! but in communication style there seems to be a problem as you have suggested which isn’t good! communication is critical in a relationship and you need to both be capable of sitting down as mature adults and sorting out your problems, differences and uncertainties! there cannot be a “real” relationship when two people cannot talk things out in a mature manner! so think about these aspects and communicate any problems and so on ! but remember insecurities are not ingredients to a successful relationship!

[melanieeeB]

It can work, but you both need to figure out what works best for you both, like when he wants to go out for a moment, let him, and after that you both can sit down and talk calm about it and also both of you, stop worrying what others may think of your relationship, it's YOUR relationship and not from other people, in situations like this I would say concentrate on yourselves, you have him and he has you, thats all what matters and if you both love each other than stop thinking about leagues, that shit will make both of you even more insecure, you both fit and if it fits it sits

[melanieeeB]

Also try to stop talking about your insecurities and talk more about the awesome stuff the other has and both of you, you need to build each other up, so talk about what is awesome about yourself and your partner

[Asker]

thanks. We're not insecure about what people think of our relationship. He just worries sometimes that he think I can do better than him, when I don't feel like that. I have to reassure him and sometimes it can get exhausting. I'm a caring person but there's only so much emotional strength I have :(

[melanieeeB]

Oh I understand! Maybe just tell him again one last time with a really strong voice that you do love him and he should finally stop making himself less worth then he is and than like really tell him that you are exhausting to always tell him that, he should believe in your love and decision and if you wouldn't think that way, you wouldn't even be in a relationship with him
I hope he finally gets it, I'm sure it would make your relationship a lot easier

[Asker]

Thanks hun. I'll give it a try. x

[Razorr]

I think yes but they cennot be same or mirrored- like guy with mother issues and girl with father issues. If they are diffrent you can suppory eachoder with diffret look on yours issues- like therapists do.

[Criptic]

If you both support your insecurities it most certainly can work especially since you both know how important it is to have a supportive person.

[HappyDominant17]

anything can work. understand we're different creatures, if he wants to go for a walk let him, women screaming, crying and shouting at me are my main *destructive* triggers