The last few months of our relationship have felt very strained. I feel my boyfriend pulling away from me...we don't talk like we used to, we don't hang out or go on dates, and I'm not really invited out with his friends and family as much. I have felt so much guilt over what I did, I haven't had the courage to voice my concerns about our relationship. I have spent a lot of time inwardly wondering if his actions are a result of my cheating, or just settling into a long term relationship where we don't have to be glued at the hip anymore. Also, there are our new work situations...he has a new job where he works from 6am-7pm and is exhausted, while I am underemployed now and have no money to even propose we go out and spent quality time together. While I haven't voiced any concerns because I don't want to rock the boat and lose someone I love so much, I have just been getting more and more neurotic about our relationship, and feeling more insecure within it.
We got into a fight on Sunday. Today, still feeling horribly insecure after our fight, and knowing a lot of his anger probably came from from my previous indiscretion...I don't know why...but I checked his email. He hadn't done anything to make me question his actions...I guess I just wanted proof that we are good and that I am being just a nut. I ended up finding some emails back and forth of naked pictures between him and a girl. I know they were taken while we have been together because he has a newer telltale tattoo in the photos. When I asked him, he said they were "taken a long time ago". A lie, obviously.
What the hell do I do now? He is pissed I'm spying on him. I am pissed that he has allowed me to shoulder so much guilt for my actions that were unplanned...while this obviously has to have been purposefully orchestrated. Naked pictures of your **** don't just shoot themselves into cyberspace and come back with tacky girls fingering themselves. We have some trust issues, clearly
Most Helpful Opinions
Well... That's not a good situation, I think we can both agree on that.
To put it bluntly I would leave. There's too much lying, too much mistrust, too much sh*t blocking the way of a clear, honest, loving and caring relationship. Yes you may love him but at what cost?
So go talk to him. Right now communication is key, maybe you guys can work things out, salvage what's left. Or just start anew, take some time apart and do some personal assessments then meet up again to figure out a final decision.
You both did wrong and neither of you have any good excuse for doing it (it's irresponsible to get so drunk. And also know you want to get drunk yet not have any one look after you, especially when you're as old as you are, you should know better). Maybe he was sending pictures as a revenge to you? Maybe he was doing it before you made out with that other guy? I don't know but if you talk about it maybe you can clear a few things up. Maybe he was just so hurt he didn't know what else to do but hurt you back? Not an excuse but still something better than he doesn't want to be with you anymore.
So sit down and talk like grown ups, figure out a course of action and then go for it. Whether it's taking a break to reassess things, or starting over or just breaking up you need some big changes and you need them fast because things are pretty broken.