Until the words, "we are officially in a relationship" are spoken, can someone you are seeing date around?

Question

If you have been seeing/dating someone, yet you've not defined your relationship as being solely wanting to exclusively see each other, IN YOUR OPINION, can they/you date/sleep around until there is an official title or do you think at a certain point, it should be obvious to someone you're seeing routinely that they should not be seeing other people?

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Dating is not a commitment. Fucking someone else during this is not cheating because there is no commitment to cheat.

Think about all the different types of relationships. The terms and conditions agreed upon in an open relationship and in a monogamous relationship are different. What you're committing to are different, and then the relationship is defined by what the commitments are.

If at a certain point you just 'assume' you have this relationship status and you two haven't even agreed on the terms and conditions (commitments) of this relationship... this is retarded. It reminds me of that saying, "To 'assume' makes an 'ASS' out of 'U' and 'ME.'

Retard, is kind of a strong word to define someone that thinks the way you put it. I guess 'gullible' or 'presumptuous' is better suited for it. To me, it's someone who's probably going to get used and tossed in the garbage with semen leaking out like an old condom... they're probably going to get their feelings hurt and not even be able to make a logical reason or argument as to why they're feeling a certain way. (This is starting to sound like a stereotypical woman)

Look, if you want commitment out of this guy, start asking for it. He wants something from you right? Well, are you just going to give it away for free? Read the art of the deal or study negotiations... do something more than being presumptuous.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

One of the first questions I always asked was if she was talking to anyone else, because that's a deal-breaker for me. I will not invest in a relationship with someone who is keeping other options open. I know some people are OK with it - usually people who aren't looking for a serious relationship - but I don't play that. A relationship costs me a lot of time, effort, money, and compromise, so if she isn't going to be focused exclusively on me, then I won't bother.

Thankfully I have a girlfriend who wants to be with me and me alone.

Brittanyrunner06 · Accepted Answer

No. Lots of people don’t say any specific words about it and would assume you weren’t sleeping around if you were dating them. If you’re actively dating someone and spending a lot of time together, it’s a relationship. If me and a guy had gone out on a few dates, and I found out he was actively dating other girls at the same time as me, I’d end things with him, immediately.
The only grey area might be if you only had 1-2 dates, things didn’t seem very serious or like they were going anywhere, and it had been a little while since those dates. But even that could be iffy because the other person might like more than you thought they did, and then you hurt them. I think most people consider the time where you begin dating someone, where the relationship starts. Even if it’s not really serious yet, it’s still starting.
The best thing would be to be up front with them right away about not being ready yet for a commitment.

avery58 · Accepted Answer

It's basically getting off on a technicality. Still a douchey thing to do... It's cheating in a different way in my opinion. The least they can do is to tell the other person that they're still planning on meeting other other people and let them decide if they still wanna see you or not.

Avicenna · Answer

It really depends what your expectations are, but ultimately you can’t expect exclusivity until you’ve agreed to be a couple, which usually isn’t going to mean an official agreement to be exclusive, it’s implied. Now, if you expect the other people to only “talk” with one person at a time, I’d suggest first explaining that that is what you do.

Since a lot of people look for partners on social media and dating apps, it should be understood that they’re talking to multiple people until there is exclusivity. If you like the other person enough to want it, talk about it and get their agreement so there isn’t any misunderstanding.

HawkPerception · Answer

I personally think so. It doesn't have to be those words exactly, but it should be a verbal agreement of some sort. How can you just assume anything about your relationship with someone without them voicing it? It's very simple to communicate.

DishLady · Answer

If it takes you a while to get together and you’ve been through hell and back before you actually start going out with the person then you better clarify from the start that you’re exclusive.

AviatorTom · Answer

Words are nice, but there comes a time in a relationship when you know you are committed... without having to say it. Until that time happens, both are free to see others.

GetJinxed · Answer

I've been off the market for 13 years so maybe I'm a little outdated in saying this. If we are seeing each other, we're already dating. Once we have crossed the line into romantic territory, I have an expectation they give me the same exclusivity I give them. If you're talking to other people, I'm out. That tells me you aren't invested. But then again, I fell in love with my best friend. We knew the other person was "it" without needing to talk to other people. So much so, we never really needed to officially ask anyone out. It just developed naturally until one day we were holding each other and I asked what we were. He looked surprised and said as far as he was concerned, I was his girlfriend. 😅 I felt the same. But I also understand everyone is different and this is a bit of a gray area for people.

Beckybooboo · Answer

If I go on a couple dates with a guy and like him, I'm not going to see someone else. If I catch wind of him seeing other girls between our dates, I think I would lose confidence in him as being able to commit to a relationship. I'll definitely talk to him about how he views our future but I think, for me anyway, it would be tough to continue. Wow, that's a good and also tough question.

HighValue · Answer

No. If there is more than one date, it should mean each person is not seeing anyone else. If they want to see others, they shouldn't have repeat dates with anyone. It is only the modern common immorality that makes people think it is acceptable to date multiple people multiple times each. They are effectively cheating on all of them.

Purpleronnie · Answer

As much as the idea is abhorrent to me I guess one can’t assume that the other is “seeing” other people …or not , or in another pseudo-relationship or arrangement as they are better known these days.

Being a fairly traditional guy I have always signaled that I want to be in an exclusive relationship around the appropriate time and when agreed then I know where we both stand or sleep as the case may be.🤣

DannyUk2017 · Answer

If i'm dating/seeing you! Then for me... THAT IS IT, YOU ARE THE ONE, but if you don't feel the same way? I'll still be staying Faithfull and Loyal, until you'll decide, but if i see/feel that You're not in to me, or just want to "test me/test the waters"? I'm sorry but i'll be GONE in a blink of an eye, as that will just be wasted Time! And i'm No Time Waster!

Anonymous · Answer

I think by the third date even if you haven’t had sex it’s implied that you’re a couple and you shouldn’t be seeing anyone else. If you are, you should disclose it to both people (hopefully you’re not seeing more than two by the time you’ve gotten to the third date with them).

msc545 · Answer

I think it should be obvious to them when we start having sex, but it often is not. When I find out that they are having sex with me AND others, I simply ghost them. I have done this numerous times in the past, and will continue to do it in the future.

If I am not important enough to them to decide on their own, without prompting, that exclusivity is important to our emerging relationship, then they are not worth my time or presence.

Zack-Bann · Answer

No.
Unless we agree to be causal and non committal

But even if we’re not officially dating
Between the first date and the time we decide to get into a relationship I won’t stick around ig there’s someone else

NoDecision · Answer

Question: If someone is sleeping around a lot, why would you want them? Or perhaps you do the same thing? 🤔

Miristheiss · Answer

No. I would have been gone. Going out and having regular dates with me... but go have sex with another man? I do not didn't tramps with nasty value systems.

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I mean, you can since you both are technically single, but should you? I think it's a bit sleazy to date multiple people especially if you've been getting close to a certain person...

jshm2 · Answer

LOL, until you are MARRIED someone can fuck around all they like.  There is no legal basis to a verbal agreement.

RavVid · Answer

I think you should begin as you might hope to end. I would take it amiss if that was not reciprocated.

SunnyCaliGirl · Answer

Yes it’s only fair and you have to experience what you like and don’t like in personalities, because if your gonna spend a majority of life with them mind as well find out what ya like in people

Yannae · Answer

Doesn't have to be those exact words, but in theory you can. I just won't stay around if she does. If she's not invested as I am, I won't pursue any longer.

Zylos · Answer

Yeah, but that makes it much less likely those words will ever be spoken.

dustybiker2 · Answer

If you aren't communicating with each other there's a big problem.

Cormac995 · Answer

I always felt doing that felt disingenuous even mores so if sex is involved.

Drumlin2001 · Answer

In theory. But not a good look. Should be discussed between you, manage expectations

fonduegirl · Answer

Notice how only men are affirming to this weird rule. LMAO.

HelenaHandbasket · Answer

If you are rowing your boat toward one village, how many others can you be rowing to at the same time?

BarryLiverstone · Answer

That’s how it works. Until being exclusive is clearly agreed, people are free to date and interact as they choose to.

SotiCoto · Answer

That seems a way to make sure you never end up in an official relationship.

Pohjolan · Answer

Well they can and its not cheating at that point but its telling that they don't want a committed long term relationship.

Guanfei · Answer

I refuse to do that. If I'm talking to someone, there won't be anyone else unless it doesn't work.

Anonymous · Answer

It’s not cheating, cuz you’re not in a relationship, but it also says I’m not really interested in you so I’m keeping my options open

Anonymous · Answer

I don't know, I never had a relationship, nor a date.

Anonymous · Answer

I do not like people like that

XXTruthfulOgrexx · Answer

If they are honest and upfront, sure.

Caroline91 · Answer

When I was dating, yes. And so could I.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Yup. So can I.

Dargil · Answer

Yes, until we agree.

beenherebefore · Answer

Yes.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes.

Until the words, "we are officially in a relationship" are spoken, can someone you are seeing date around?

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Until the words, "we are officially in a relationship" are spoken, can someone you are seeing date around?

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Does “we’re dating” mean in a relationship or just going on dates and not official?

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