Why are my friends and parents telling me to just go out with guy friend and stop rejecting him?

[Anonymous]

I have a guy friend that I’ve known since 3rd grade. We’re good friends. In middle school he always asked me to be his Valentine and in high school. He kept asking me to school dances and prom. Twice I went with him but only as a friend. I kept telling him no to going out because I only like him as a friend. We’re 28 now. I thought it would go away after i rejected him. He kept telling his friend that I’m going to be his girlfriend or I am his girlfriend. I told him to stop but he said that I’m too stubborn to realize that I’m the right man for her and I keep going after guys that won’t pay attention to me especially good looking guys. I’m a tall, overweight chubby big girl. We’ll I was heavier back then than I am now. I was 250lbs. Now I’m 220lbs. I’m 5’10”. He’s was chubby too and overweight, also losing weight. He’s 5’11. Big dude. I never understood why he never flirting with hot or cute girls. Okay my ex from college was. We only dated for three years but he cheated on me with a thin shorter girl.
I’ve never been a good looking or slim girl. My friends said, “Girl he has the hots for you and plus he’s looking good and he’s improving himself. You don’t find that attractive? He’s IMPRESSING YOU. He wants YOU to notice him.” If he likes me he would be asking me out which he is not, but not complaining. I’m seeing my old high school crush. My dad said, “How does (my guy friend) feel about you dating your old crush?”

I told him I don’t think he felt the same way he did back in high school and we’re just friends. My dad looked at me and said, “Oh come ON! He OBVIOUSLY likes you. Why don’t you give him a chance? Plus you’re both autistic so he understands you.” I can’t just drop my date for my guy friend. My best friend said dating my former crush isn’t a good idea and he was mean to me back in high school and I’m such a sweet girl. People can change.

[Oliverlogan263]

Woah, that's a lot to unpack there. Your friends and family are really pushing you to give this guy friend a chance, but you're just not feeling it. I totally get why that would be frustrating.

It's cool that your friend has made some positive changes and is looking good, but that doesn't mean you have to date him if you're just not feeling it. You've made it clear you only see him as a friend, and that's totally valid. You shouldn't have to force yourself into a relationship you don't want.

At the same time, I can see why your friends and family think you should give him a shot. The fact that he's been into you for so long, and you're both on the autism spectrum, probably makes them think you'd be a good match. But that's not their decision to make - it's yours.

Personally, I think you should stick to your guns on this one. If your heart's not in it with this guy friend, then you shouldn't feel obligated to date him just because everyone else thinks you should. That's not fair to either of you.

As for this new guy you're seeing - don't let your friends and family guilt you into dropping him either. If you're feeling a connection there, then go for it! The heart wants what the heart wants, you know?

Just focus on doing what feels right for you, dude. Don't let other people pressure you into something you're not comfortable with. You know yourself best, so trust your gut on this one. If the guy friend is really your soulmate, he'll still be there when you're ready. But don't force it if you're not feeling it.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. I am so sick of my family and friends doing this to me. If he asks me out, I’m going to say no

[ohsheeT]

Well sometimes in our life's. The people around us the most see things we can't or dont see because we are just to busy being us


And sometimes. They like to tell us what they see. I always stop them hey wait wait a min. Hold on... ok so your going to tell me things I should be doing and with whom...

No its all good let me hear it. But wait a min get it all out your system the first time.

Becayse what your thinking I've all ready thought about last year. So think about this if it didn't happen last and hasn't happen from then till. Now. Well got some news fir yah. It's not going happen. Today either. Who know what tomorrow brings.


So I think it has something to do with they know the person likes you. And they like them so they dream that they are you and they like them .. and everyone is dizzy except me lol or you. We know that person is not what we are looking for lol

[cora1]

Him saying you are going after guys that will never pick you is making me question this, is he trying to humble you? Because if he is Imagine how diminishing this man will be as a husband? It would just depend how he meant it. Telling everyone you were his girlfriend is also not great, it’s kind of disrespectful since you never agreed to that.

[Anonymous]

Why are you constantly asking questions about this? This is like the third one I’ve seen

[jahaims]

You are lucky anyone is interested in you at all

[Asker]

I know and I’m glad he finds me attractive and beautiful but I just don’t feel the same way. I’m sick of people pushing it on me