What do you think of a woman that has always been single all of a sudden decides to start dating at 40?

[Anonymous]

I have a lady friend who is trying to do this? She's coming to me for advice and I'm not sure I'm the best person to advise her.

[InknKink]

What does that mean, always been single? She's 40 and never been in a relationship?

If that's the case, then honestly, tell her to seek out a professional. There is so much baggage in that scenario that many things need to be addressed before anything meaningful can occur.

You don't end up 40 and forever single without trauma.

[Asker]

She doesn't seem trauma'd

[Pumpkinpie222]

I see what you mean. Why hasn’t she had any relationships? That reason needs to be unpacked.

[InknKink]

People spend their entire lives hiding their traumas from everyone around them; especially themselves. Being 40 and forever single is not normal. It doesn't just happen. It's made to happen.

She's got a minefield of issues hidden behind a carefully cultivated garden of flowers.

[Pumpkinpie222]

I think it’s fine? The only thing I would advise her is to be open and flexible. Not dating or being married tends to create people “set in their ways”. A big part of being with someone else is being able to adapt. Not change but be open to being able to allow someone else into your world and you into theirs. Be open to new things.

[Asker]

Yeah, I think that's getting older in general.

[Pumpkinpie222]

Good point!! Us oldies like what we like.

[Avicenna]

Actually, that’s quite healthy. She probably needs encouragement more than advice.

[jahaims]

She is going to get low quality leftovers

[In_Trance]

Whatever works for her