Talking to random girls outside?

[Anonymous]

"Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling a bit socially in Sweden and I’d like your advice. I find it difficult to meet and talk to women here. In some places it feels more normal to start a conversation in the street or in a park, but I’m not sure if that’s acceptable in Sweden or in other European countries, or how people would react.

For example, if I see a girl sitting in a park, is it okay to just walk up, tell her she seems interesting, and ask for her Instagram? Or would that come across as uncomfortable?

I’d love to hear what’s considered normal or respectful in Swedish (and European) culture when it comes to approaching someone new."

[Tarifa]

Is it okay to just walk up and talk to a girl? Sure. I think most of them would want you to do that, or be OK with it. No harm done.

I would never tell a girl she seems interesting, nor ask for her Instagram. That might come over as creepy.

[Asker]

Oh ok i understand

[capriVib]

It happens in Sweden, I know someone who does it, but most of the time you’ll get rejected. In fact, in some countries you could even end up in prison for doing this.

[Abbycado]

No, no, no! Do not just walk up and say either of those things. Wanna know how to do it?

[Asker]

Why no? And yes

[Abbycado]

Because you don’t just approach and be like can I get your info? What if some dude did that to you. Doesn’t matter gender. Weird, right?

So, sit down next to her and mind your shit for a bit. Read a book. Look at your phone. Find an in without being blatant. “Oh, see you are reading. Like novels or?”

Like common sense type stuff. It’s a public park and public park. The worst that happens is she gets up and leaves, right @HollyK21

[Asker]

Thank you for everything I did read your comment its smart and everything but my problem is not asking someone info.. im shy to start a conversation do you get what i meant..

[Abbycado]

I get it. It’s not easy. Holly gives good advice too. I can extrapolate if needed. I’m sure Holly will give the usual good advice to genuine users.

[HollyK21]

One of my biggest pieces of advice for starting a conversation with a woman is to treat her like a friend you just ran into. I say this because a lot of times people tend to overthink the approach — what to say, how to say it, how the person will respond. Do any of those thoughts cross your mind when you run into a friend out in public? Nope, you’re comfortable, laid back, being yourself. Try to have that same energy when you start a conversation with a woman, don’t blow the encounter up in your head either, it’s just a chat.

As for the approach, I really think how you do it matters and like Abby said, you don’t want to be blatant. If you see her doing something you can play off of like reading a certain book or having a certain drink, you can comment on that in your own way to get the conversation going.

If the idea of that approach is just too overwhelming, why not try something safer? I’m not a fan of online dating but I know I can’t rule it out completely since I’ve personally gone to both a Tinder and a Hinge wedding lol, so maybe try an app. Speed dating is one that I didn’t know was a thing anymore but a good friend of mine has gone to a few and apparently it’s a lot of fun.

Last option — get a hobby. It can be painting, dancing, whatever. You’re likely to run into a single woman or even just make a few new friends in class. Making new friends can mean new opportunities to go out, potentially meet a woman or even meet a single friend of theirs. You’ve got lots of options at your disposal, for confidence building at the very least ☺️

[Abbycado]

@HollyK21 Ty Holly. Right on.

[HollyK21]

I try lol☺️💛

[Asker]

Thank you so much abby for your effort.. you're a kindhearted person... please one more question.. as you are a girl.. whats your reaction if someone come to you and say hi, i saw you and i think you are pretty and i had like to get to know you? Whats ur reaction?

[Asker]

Thank you Holly you're very smart

[Abbycado]

Ty for such a nice compliment.

Okay, so PERSONALLY, I would probably be quite flattered. For me, it is nice to hear a compliment on my looks. I try to put my best self forward in that respect. However, some girls are going to be caught off guard (at best) or creeped out (at worst).

Here is the thing. Leave out the pretty part. Don't roll the dice when you don't need to. Guess what? If you come up to me and tell me you'd like to get to know me... I know you think I'm pretty. So, don't take the chance.

And I am not saying that many girls would not be absolutely flattered. You are still taking a chance and an unnecessary one since we know that already if you want to get to know us. Know what I mean?

[Asker]

Omg i dont wanna bother you Abby 😭 my English is not good if you can explain in simple and im very sorry to tire you

[Abbycado]

Okay, no prob at all!

So just say the "Hey, I'm _________ and would like to get to know you" part and leave out the "you're pretty part".

I say leave out the your pretty because different girls might react differently to that (good or bad) My point is, we know that you think we are pretty when you approach us so you don't need to say it and to a girl that might be creeped out by a stranger saying that.

Holly, am I saying this right or maybe you can do it better?

[HollyK21]

No problem☺️ I personally don’t have anything to add, Abby gave some great pointers. Asker, what is it that needs to be explained?

[DryGermanGuy]

You could always talk about your Swedish made penis enlarger pump? 🤔
https://m. media-amazon. com/images/I/61GXR5CoawL._UF1000,1000_QL80_. jpg

[Anonymous]

I'm also too shy with girls.