Why don’t people call these “situationships” or friends with benefits dynamics what they actually are?

[Anonymous]

When someone makes you a friends with benefits or refuses to commit to you, it’s usually because they think they can do better than you. People make excuses for the person saying, that “he’s afraid of commitment”, “he’s not over his ex”, etc. No, he’s holding out for better and doesn’t mind sleeping and hanging out with you until better comes along.

[avery58]

Because situationships usually involve at least some level of romance, friends with benefits don't. I'd say situationships are in the middle point between friends with benefits and a relationship. It usually has more commitment than a simple friends with benefits relationship but much less than a formal boyfriend and girlfriend one.

I also think it depends on each case. Most of the time I think it is because they're just not ready for a relationship but that shouldn't be your problem, and you would be doing yourself an injustice if you want more commitment but accept to be treated as a second class relationship. After my ex, I made it a point to not date broken people ever again. I'm sorry for them, but I don't need to put myself in a place where I will likely get hurt because of their past. I'm not part of their past, if they're not ready for a different life then they just need to keep working on themselves instead of seeking validation at the expense of someone else's feelings.

[HollyK21]

People like holding onto hope, I guess.

[ohsheeT]

Well you have to remember no one makes you any of the above. It's your choice.

And when this happens. The guy might be doing it for all the reason you said.

Or he might be doing it because he likes you and is doing it thus way because he doesn't want to be hurt again. Nor does he want to hurt anyone. When done right it can be better than any relationship that you've ever had

[BadApple69]

I had a friend with benefits once. We were just enjoying sex when we didn’t have that significant to enjoy sex with. It wasn’t about love. Just physical contact.

[Asker]

Okay, but the point is, you more than likely thought that you could do better than her (hence why she wasn’t your girlfriend).

[BadApple69]

The reality is I had a LDR relationship at the time. The friend knew that and knew I wasn’t getting any sex and neither was she. It was her idea to start having sex. Honestly I didn’t like the idea but go 6 months without sex while a girl is offering it to you all the time. I finally took her up on it. We never had any ideas of being girlfriend and boyfriend.

[Asker]

Would you have dated her if you were single?

[BadApple69]

She was single I was the one with a long distant girlfriend. If I didn’t have the girlfriend I probably wouldn’t have dated her. Her and I are still friends today but I wouldn’t have wanted to date her.

[Asker]

Why?

[BadApple69]

I guess because we were really good friends and that was something I didn’t want to ruin by trying to date her. That was 2009 but her and I are still good friends today. She got married and I was her best man for her wedding. Friends can be more important than girlfriends sometimes. She has been a good friend.

[jahaims]

They don't want to admit the situation to themselves so they cope by doing mental gymnastics. People that are too immature for healthy relationships but still seek validation end up like that.

[Anonymous]

You are mostly wrong inmost cases. The fact is, commitment / marriage is far riskier and offers far fewer benefits for men today than in the past. That's all in the world it is.

[scott04sa22]

Those people were only looking for sex with no commitment.