Why is dating an INFJ so hard?

[Anonymous]

We have been seeing each other for going on 4 years. Just a year and a half ago we started seeing each other more. She was very loving at first but now seems more distant at times. She has been very slow at making any moves in the relationship. Is this normal?

[avery58]

As an INFJ myself I can understand how dating one could be frustrating at times.

I become distant at times as well, I just feel like I need some alone time, hard to describe why. Even things like sending photos and making phone calls feel like something I feel pressured to do for the other person at times rather than something that I want to do. And misunderstandings only make me more distant. I've been trying to change that aspect about myself without sacrificing a reasonable amount of space that I need.

I think it comes down to each of you compromising a little. Tell her how it makes you feel, and ask her why she's been distant. Hopefully she puts in the effort to make you feel appreciated.

[Clear_Skies10]

You could ask her why she seems to be more distant now? I suppose that some introverted people value their alone time more than most. Maybe she needs some space. If you're feeling unsatisfied with this relationship you always have the option to end it. I would struggle to be with a person that seems distant and unsure about the relationship.

[ohsheeT]

Oh its a long story. Something to do with mixing up the. I. for and E invice versa it's way over my head.

[slatyb]

That's not an INFJ problem, that's a him problem, or maybe a you problem, or both.