What do I need to do to fall asleep?

Question

I am a bisexual woman, and I have been struggling. I lost my boyfriend 2 years ago to suicide. I then started dating a girl, but she recently passed away as well. Ever since then, no matter how tired I am, I can not sleep. It is becoming unbearable. I already cry daily, but it keeps getting worse. I can not afford therapy, and I just don´t know what to do.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

I have trouble sleeping also. And some trauma also. So I can understand your difficulty dealing with the trauma you have had. Without distraction it comes out at night.

First I suggest you google "havening" my pysch prescribed it for me and it is a simple technique that may help. The thing is gradually reduce these sharp damaging images to faded sepia as my pysch put it.

Another technique is when you have distressing memories say STOP to yourself. Neurons that fire together group together. You need to stop the broken record in your head from playing. The stop technique works - might take a month.

For sleeping I use a usb sports/sleeping headband. There is a lot of stuff on Youtube. I think the trick is to divert your mind to just one thing. Meditation is thinking of nothing; your mind on one thing is almost as good.

ASMR mostly didn't work for me. One of a girl sleeping did work for a bit.

What is working for me is long form narrative. I like history and science so I am listening to Boring history and Boring science channels. I think the trick is that it needs to be interesting enough that you will listen to it but not interesting enough to excite you. So your mind is modestly engaged enough to not have distressing thoughts and nature will take over and you will sleep.

I think anything that modestly engages your mind has capability. Could be a collection of old fave music. Part of the thing as you are lying in bed you can be enjoying listening.

Hope this might help.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Just about every night all of a sudden I become wide awake i dont know why

I usually go online and look for Somebody to chat with.
Or I will play games online until I get sleepy and fall asleep.

Did they die from the same causes?

itsannalee · Accepted Answer

See a psychiatrist, they might give you some meds to help you to sleep.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Seeking medical advice would be your best bet.

Iron_Man · Answer

Why don’t you go to a Christian counselor and psychiatrist to get help

Anonymous · Answer

Sometimes I've found that bringing myself to orgasm relaxes me enough to fall asleep rather nicely

What do I need to do to fall asleep?

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