Why do I keep thinking about my guy friend when I’m dating this incredible man I’m seeing?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been seeing this guy I met at college for three months and I really do like him. He’s funny, smart, honest and he’s so cute. Love that he does not take shit from anyone.

I really like him but lately I keep thinking about my guy friend. I’ve known him since elementary school so since kindergarten. At first I got annoyed with him following me EVERYWHERE and he ended up making me laugh and became close friends. When we got older he started asking me out to the school dances which I rejected, and prom twice. I ask him why doesn’t he ask any other girl. I rejected him when he asked me out a lot. I went with him once as a friend in junior prom because the guys were taken. The second prom I went with my crush which ended up in a disaster. He humiliated me for being that fat girl. I don’t understand why I keep thinking about my guy friend lately. Like I keep fighting it and my mind keeps saying his name and not my date. My heart pounds when my guy friend comes near me. I don’t understand. I don’t want him. My best girl friend told me I REALLY need to think about this because I’m gonna end up hurting my date. I’m starting to develop feelings for my guy friend and she thinks it’s because he’s improving himself, maturing taking care of his health or whatever.
I wish my dad hadn’t asked him if he had a girlfriend last year, He in my family thought that we were dating but I keep telling them that it was just a joking we’re just friends. He doesn’t like that I am saying and I’m making a big mistake.

Updates

10 mo

I am and never will be attracted or like my guy friend. My best friend also said that she can’t believe that I don’t find my girlfriend a tractor for improving himself and bettering himself, and she thinks he’s trying to impress me. Chubby fat, or if he gets it, I’m still not gonna have feelings for him. I know I’m trying to lose weight like he is. We’re both big kids growing up and both tall and Chubby. He could’ve went for the slim or hot girls, but he said that he doesn’t like hot girls.

Updates

10 mo

I am and never will be attracted or like my guy friend. My best friend also said that she can’t believe that I don’t find my guy friend attractive for improving himself and bettering himself, and she thinks he’s trying to impress me. Chubby fat, or if he gets it, I’m still not gonna have feelings for him. I know I’m trying to lose weight like he is. We’re both big kids growing up and both tall and Chubby. He could’ve went for the slim or hot girls, but he said that he doesn’t like hot girls.

[Nikki1989]

You've known your guy friend since you were a child. He's a consistent, comforting presence in your life. It is understandable.

[Asker]

True but it’s so sickening that my bestie would think I’m attracted to him. I am and never will be attracted or like my guy friend. My best friend also said that she can’t believe that I don’t find my guy friend attractive for improving himself and bettering himself, and she thinks he’s trying to impress me. Chubby fat, or if he gets fit, I’m still not gonna have feelings for him. I know I’m trying to lose weight like he is. We’re both big kids growing up and both tall and Chubby. He could’ve went for the slim or hot girls, but he said that he doesn’t like hot girls. He never cared for the gorgeous or slimmer girls.

[WhitneySnow]

I think you’re attracted to both of them and don’t realize it

[Asker]

I’m not attracted to my guy friend

[WhitneySnow]

Then why does your heart pound when he comes near? I think you are.

[Asker]

He’s a big guy and he’s intimidating.
Why would I fall for him? He’s my close friend. Besides it wouldn’t work out

[WhitneySnow]

Listen to your feelings. And don’t worry. Even if it doesn’t work out you guys won’t stop being friends.

[Asker]

Yeah that’s true. I prefer my guy friend and I to stay friends but he admits that he still chases me after all these years. He won’t give other ladies a chance because he kept saying I’m his girlfriend. I think he’s obsessed

[WhitneySnow]

If you don’t like him that way then stick with the guy you’ve got. But I think you like him more than you admit.

[Asker]

I like him more than I admit? Give me a break!

[slatyb]

You are dating the wrong man. He may be generally wonderful but he's not doing it for you. Date your friend.

[Asker]

He’s not the wrong man. I can’t just dump my date.

[slatyb]

Why not? If it's not doing it for you, don't waste your time and his. Are you going to marry him? I

[Asker]

We only dated for three months! Who said anything about marriage? I like my boyfriend. My sister said I know deep down my guy friend has ALWAYS been the me for me since DAY ONE. He may not be the type of guy I want but he’s the kind of man I NEED. I always get average joes just because I’m an average woman.

[slatyb]

Sorry, maybe I didn't understand your question. You are seeing one man but constantly thinking of another. That's a sign you are with the wrong man.

[Asker]

Whatever. I am just going to stop thinking about him. I feel like everyone is trying to put my guy friend and I together on purpose.

[Wise4myage]

Your guy friend offers something your boyfriend doesn't.

[Asker]

How do you know? My boyfriend is great

[Wise4myage]

Its just a guess.

[Asker]

I feel like people are trying to put my guy friends and I together on purpose

[Wise4myage]

Then mention that to whomever you think is doing that.