What actually shifts in a relationship when a woman has her own money?

Question

I’ve been thinking about how much money shapes relationships in ways we don’t always admit.

When a woman is paying her own rent, bills, groceries, she isn’t saying yes because she needs to. She’s saying yes because she wants to. And that feels very different from when one person has all the financial control.

I’m curious what other people think, does financial independence make relationships healthier, or just more complicated?

I pulled this apart more in a quick piece if anyone wants the sharp version.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

Whether in a relationship or not, I think all women should be independent and have a way to make their own way. and I need to thank you for this question because I see a lot of things in life and I realize a lot of things but something this simple. I don't think I looked at it in the manner that i'm doing right now

But yes.
If you're independent, you have a vowhether you.
Use it or not, it gives you that choice.

And it wasn't so much.
That it just came to me, but how many women bow down because they don't feel?
Ike their equal. Are there contributing enough? I mean, how many women do that? That's the part I just learned is that that is true, and that's messed up.

And I hope women don't do what they think they have to do because of this. That's even more wrong and if a guy was to make him feel that way. He needs his ass kicked

So I need to say to all women become independent. Make your own way.
Just so you have it in. Your pocket to do whatever you want to do when you want to do it, that's all?
Though

And women if you haven't found you.
R o my way yet invent it, take what you can do best and make a business out of it.

And for any girls out there that are struggland if a guy takes you out and he intimidates you because because he looks at you. As a lower class person or whatever tell him to fuck off and die

Don't let any guy ever treat you bad because of money. Tell him to f*** off and die like I said.

And I think what I'm trying to say. Is don't bring yourself down and don't do things that. You think that you have to do because of this because you don't have to do anything

And if a guy makes you think you have to do something walk away, it'll be his loss. You're the boss of you nobody else

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Men don't really care how much money a woman makes. Instead, they care whether the woman is operating in a grounded reality and a consistent set of expectations.

For example, most women, no matter how much they achieve and how successful they are financially continue to expect their man to be better than her in every area. He should have even MORE academic success, should make even more money, should have an even higher status position, etc. That's not a realistic standard and nearly every woman who holds that standard prices herself out of the market and ends up alone.

Another example is that women still want traditional, chivalrous treatment - chivalry being a system that was based on the fact that women were unable to protect and provide for themselves and thus needed special treatment - but at the same time expect to be treated as an equal, at least until the check comes or the bills are due or there is a bad guy at the door.

If a woman wants to be treated as an equal, then she needs to be an equal in all situations. And if she wants chivalry, then she needs to follow the man's lead and not try to demand equality when it suits her. You can't have it both ways.

There are women who are happy to pick one and follow through without complaining or causing fights, but most women today want to pick and choose moment by moment, and that's one of the biggest reasons that men and women aren't staying together.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I definitely agree with you on this as a woman who has money to take care of herself and the things you stated. I do not need someone to provide for me, and even though I have the money to take care of myself and a man if I wanted to, a guy will still expect you to play house wife even if you are making money and he isn’t providing for you. Which is sad.
But i definitely am more cautious of who I decide to spend my time on, I’d consider myself high value but of course that’s not what a man thinks…

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Financial independence often gives a woman a stronger voice in major relationship decisions, such as where to live, what to invest in, how to raise children, et cetera.

Finchie40 · Answer

I prefer dating a girl that is financially capable of taking care of herself because I am as well , I don’t date girls’ for money , I date girls’ hoping for love and hoping her and I will be a team working together and having each others’ backs and spoiling each other. My ex was a user , the second she hooked me in and we moved in together , she quit working and acted like it was my responsibility to support her , in the beginning I didn’t mind because she stayed home and cleaned the house and made dinner etc. but when she started to buy things she didn’t know when to stop , and that’s when I put my foot down to her and told her if she wants to blow money on things we really don’t need , then she needs to get a job to support her spending habits. She would make comments that a real man wouldn’t make her work and wouldn’t mind her spending money , I looked at her like she was mentally insane and said Go find your real man because he will be a real dumbass to let
You blow through money like it grows on trees. My ex had no concept of money and she was a user , I will never be with a girl again that thinks it’s my responsibility to support her spending habits , that doesn’t know the concept of money and bills. So I only date girls’ that are independent that work and understand the concept of money , a girl that wants to be my team partner working together so we can spoil each other. Users are meant for the streets not under my sheets

Anonymous · Answer

I'm wealthy and I have never let women I dated know it until I was sure of their intentions. There was a time that I even bought an old car and a much less expensive home than the one I lived in nearby to take them to until I got to know them well enough to tell them about my wealth. I always felt paranoid that they would love me for the money instead of for a real relationship so right up front I wanted to find out if it would last if the money wasn't there.

I learned that women have an interesting view about this. Some sincerely want a man to provide and protect and it's not so much that they are attracted by the money but by the security. Others are straight out gold diggers and want a sugar daddy. Still others have an attitude that they don't need a man for his money because they can take care of themselves. I kind of like a balance... somewhere in the middle. I think it is natural for a woman to crave a man who can provide. But I don't think that should be the only reason she loves him. Has to be more than that.

HighValue · Answer

Many women often become disrespectful, insulting, abusive, and unfaithful if they make much money, especially when they make more than the man they are with.

They often think they are more desirable to men when they make good money, or if they have a degree, but it actually adds NOTHING to their appeal for most men. Women want a partner with lots of money and it is one of the primary things they look for in a potential partner because they value resources more than good morals and loyalty, but men often value good morals and loyalty above most things.

Women often spend lots of time and energy on things that add nothing to her value as a partner, then get angry when men don't desire the same things in a partner.

McLlovin · Answer

Nothing from our end shifts, because we don’t care one way the other, if you have money or not or if you have bachelors degree or a phd. What matters is can you be a wife.

However with women it shifts. Most women not all but most, respect men less if they make less than them and even arrogant. They feel they are dating down or something and think you’re not at their level. Welp little do they know this mindset has greatly limited themselves in the dating pool. because if they are super high income now they are looking for that 1 percent guy which many women are already competing for. So is there a shift yes but its from the woman's point of view not that man

Vegasrunner · Answer

The only thing that shifts is her standards go up. Average, broke women believe they deserve a top tier man, so if a woman is making money she believes she deserves the very top man. Unfortunately this reduces the number of viable partners forcing her to hope to get chosen by a HV man, meanwhile that man has exponentially more options than her because he's the type every woman is chasing. Best example of this is Beyonce, she was smart and stayed w/ Jay Z after finding out he had sex w/ other women, because she realized how difficult it is to find another man like that.

worldscolide · Answer

It depends on the kind of woman.

My wife is devoted to our family, while I never ask for or want her to spend money on us, especially considering she works only 4 months out of the year, and doesn't make much, I prefer she keep it for her self. But she sneakily spends it on things for the family anyway.

A woman like her will put it towards her family. Some women will not. They will use it instead on them selves. One of the biggest causes of divorce where I'm from happens either when a husband loses his job, or when the wife starts to out earn her husband. Again not all are like that.

It's just very dependent on the woman.

OneViewpoint · Answer

Money shifts the power dynamic away from male control. Men know that. It's why they fight education and equal pay for women. There's a subset of the male population who are scared to death of women they can't control.

On the flip side. Some women with money are every bit as bad as some men with money. Wealth enables bad behavior if the intent is already there.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

My last girlfriend had her own place, car, normal adult stuff. I didn’t notice any difference other than she would give me gifts and pick up the tab on occasion which all was a first for me … even with other women who were well established, employed or well off or whatever. It didn’t affect any dynamic aside from the sense of having a girlfriend who actually made me feel like more than a penis and a wallet.

JesseP1nk · Answer

I think when in relationship then both need to do their part. One side can't be provider and other side just a consumer otherwise you become a burden to other. When man take care all the bills and stuff and woman earn their own women and does not contribute to this relationship and ONLY FLEX on social media as "strong independent woman" then you are fucking fraud. Same way as trust fund kid flex with their daddies car.

Sunrising · Answer

I'm sure the relationship would benefit from both partners having money, because they will be able to do so much more, than relying on just one person to pay for everything.

dwreborn · Answer

I guess the need for her to need you just to support her which i would rather have her want to be with me for other then life support and dont you want your lady to be independent and confident

Friendlybro79 · Answer

All of a sudden having all your money in one pot seems unnecessary to many lol. I'm being light-hearted with this and not mean. I'm speaking from the point of view of knowing many women that make a lot of money.

fonduegirl · Answer

She's less willing to be taken for granted, that's for sure. And that threatens a boat load of men! Hence the whole tradwife is well received on tiktok

beenherebefore · Answer

I think when a woman makes more money than the man is harder for her to be submissive to her Partner.

mysteriousNicholas · Answer

It goes to her head - just like in a male's brain - she becomes full of herself ✌️👀😅

Noodle_fan · Answer

Good for her, i am from muslim country so traditional role gender is common here To be realistic, Some men may abuse this situation , a situation of power imbalance in relationships.

Fireguy17 · Answer

nothing, except now she can pay for some of the dates.

loveslongnails · Answer

Depends on the woman. I don't care if she wants to be my sugar mama. :)

Allmenrsick · Answer

Relationship is all about money whether you like it or not.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

Nothing changes i dont know why people think that changes things

Anonymous · Answer

For me it was never about the money when it came to helping her. I did it because i love her not because i had to or felt obligated to

nicolebotello · Answer

It will be more complicated, when a women financial strong and she feel independent.

QuietRunner · Answer

mortgage payments the man doesn't have to pay

RavVid · Answer

I don't think much changes.

Bricealan · Answer

@mzash Healthier, better.

seeyounexttuesday · Answer

She still expects the man to pay.

Anonymous · Answer

She gets her financial independence.

What actually shifts in a relationship when a woman has her own money?

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What actually shifts in a relationship when a woman has her own money?

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