Why do people say men are more visual or picky?

[Anonymous]

Being that an average looking woman can find sexual partners faster than a good looking man and women find less men attractive then men do women, how can folks say men are more visual or picky when it comes to dating then women? That make any sense. Several videos of both genders claiming men are more visual and picky. Handsome men dont even have the same sexual access that the average woman has. Maybe Im missing something? Thanks

[RingOfFire]

"Why do people say men are more visual or picky?"

Maybe because they are? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Just guessing.

They're more visual anyway. They are only picky if they can swing it.

Men are far more into looks than women are. Women like good looks, but other things are even more important to them about a man than the way he looks. Men would slobber all over themselves for sex with a hot looking woman even if she had no other desirable traits. They only settle for an average looking woman if they have no choice. And if they can't get that, any woman will do.

The reason men are so much more visual is about reproduction. Reproduction is the most important thing that living things do because without it they would become extinct. In order for it to take place naturally in humans, men were designed by nature to require a certain natural process to take place that arouses them enough so that they can do what needs to be done. Men need to be aroused for natural reproduction to take place. So nature made sure to provide the stimulus to make that happen... a woman's looks. That explains why women spend multiples of what men do making themselves look good to men from clothing, to hair to makeup to cosmetic surgery, women make up the vast majority of the market share for these things for a natural reason.

[Someone34]

I agree as a man, I would definently fuck most women if I could and it would all depend on how horny I was at the moment. I just dont cause I can't go around and hit on everything on everyone just cause I am horny. But there is a big difference in fucking and creating a family.

Most sane guys would not produce a family with every girl out there, if we are gonna have kids we want just want women want. A good mother/father with good values/traits. Someone who is smart and who can take responsibility.

[RingOfFire]

True

I think many men tend to have the Madonna-Whore complex or at least some form of it. They want a whore in the bedroom and a saint for a mother of their children. They can be confusing desires.

=====
A Madonna–whore complex (also called a Madonna–mistress complex) is a psychological phenomenon first observed in psychoanalysis, and later applied to feminist critique of broader society. In psychoanalysis, the complex is defined as an inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed and loving relationship.[1] First identified by Sigmund Freud, who called it psychic impotence,[2] it is a psychological complex that is said to develop in men who see women as either saintly Madonnas or debased whores. Men with this complex desire a sexual partner who has been degraded (whore) while they cannot desire the respected partner (Madonna).[3] Freud wrote, "Where such men love they have no desire, and where they desire they cannot love."[4] Clinical psychologist Uwe Hartmann wrote in 2009 that the complex "is still highly prevalent in today's patients".[3]

[Someone34]

I think a lot of men go through that phase and If you are smart you can acknowledge that this way of seeing women is unrealistic and will have implications on life, finding a partner, creating a family etc.

What is really funny in that is that girls who are more conservative often also has a very kinky side, this can be observed in middleeastern countries where women were forced to cover up under new regimes. These young people, often student were very very promiscuos just because it became such pyschological backlash, so to speak.

Same can be found in other countries that are more conservative today, generally were girls are allowed to be girls, or women maybe you should say! Countries that didn't implement the whole radical feminist side are the ones that still value being feminine/masculine on a bigger scale.

This no doubt creates more interesting sex lifes. I can't see why it wouldn't. Being addicted to social media and being loose with everything and everyone, flirting with everyone, even if you have a man/boyfriend is not the same thing as being feminine.

Not in my eyes at least.

[RingOfFire]

Having had my share of relationships, and having lived for 70 years, I think your analysis is 100% on target.

[ManOnFire]

Never got that either. Women are actually way more visual than men. They care about looks in both men and even other women to a very great degree. And women also think they are better looking than men. That in itself says how much emphasis they put on looks.

Women - but mostly younger females in their 20s - are also 5x more visual about social appearance, how they look in front of others or how someone else will make them look in front of others. This is probably a major reason why females actually have more social anxiety than men/paranoia about what they look like to people in social settings.

[blackeagle007]

Agreed. Women are more pickier

[ManOnFire]

@blackeagle007 And I never believe when they say they don't care about looks. Their actions say everything.

[Someone34]

This has to do with social media and the mental health issues that came along with it. It wasn't always like this, you should check out my post about that on my profile. Its about social media.

[DishLady]

Bc they are.


Proof of point: I try to make sure I dress nicely wherever I go, and I always get compliments from guys. However at a party or special event, when I’ve clearly made an effort to look “on point” with the hair and nails and such, I get more looks and attention… more male appreciation.


Does it equate to anything? No, not really. It’s just looking.


The next step is to see whether they find that look to be that of an “approachable” type of woman or not. Some guys have extremely frail egos, so while they want a girl who is attractive they don’t have the personality to approach women who are a step up from being “pretty” enough to be worth the time and effort of being approached.


The final step is the personality match. By the time this becomes clear the guy knows whether the girl is someone to stick around for or whether she’s just eye candy (while she’s either nasty or vapid in terms of her personality).

[Asker]

Let me stop you right there lol. a lot of women just want to be approached by the average guy who is below their standards just so they can reject them to increase her ego. Most women know damn well they are going to say no, regardless but still want to look cute for the attention to draw guys in for the approach. Im not saying you specifically are doing that but that scenario does not make men more visual then women. How many women find men attractive as opposed to men finding women attractive? Dont most men find most women attractive?

[Anonymous]

I’d say that men are more picky. If the girl doesn’t have big boobs? No. If a girl doesn’t have a big butt? No. If she isn’t attractive to his friends? No. If she isn’t a 8/10 or higher? No.

Based off myself and people I know that are women, WE SETTLE. My ex wasn’t my type let alone super attractive. I was with him for 2 years, I settled when realistically I could’ve done better and gone for my actual type. Many women go based off of personality such as myself, yet men go for attraction and looks. It’s basically “damn I wanna fuck her” and that’s all he needs to want to be with someone. Which is disappointing, but as the times move and the world continues to evolve hopefully men also evolve from thinking with there dicks

[Pohjolan]

Dating apps have shown that women are way more picky even as far as looks are considered.
Almost any woman who can be bothered to take care of themselves can find a mate.

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan but also consider that a lot of men on dating apps are not on there to actually date. So we are very cautious when looking at profiles, so then yeah it does come off as “picky” when it’s actually trying to weed out mean that we suspect are trying to get there dicks wet

[Pohjolan]

A lot of women are there also not for a committed relationship.
Fuckboys are popular for a reason.
Besides you can base on someone's profile if they are looking for short or long term mating but not on their looks.

[Asker]

y'all settle... Men we are the ones expected to date DOWN lol. By that definition who settles more? .. and do you think most of us men usually end up with the woman we are actually physically attracted to? 🤔 especially when we have less choice to begin with

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan sometimes you can’t tho. Which is why I left dating apps, the profile would look like there looking for an actual long term but once they start messaging they just talk about fucking. It’s annoying

[Opinion Owner]

Men are expected to? But do men actually? At least the guys I’ve known or been around they won’t “settle” or “date down”. I personally have dated down, I’d say for younger girls we have less choices when it comes to long term because let’s be completely honest everyone wants to sleep around now, and of course I see men do it more than I see women do it.
Here’s what I’ll say on the physically attractive thing, it’s a men thing. Yeah women will look at a guy they find attractive”handsome” or “good looking” but if he as a shit personality he’s done for, now a guy makes sure that the women can get his dick wet and his dick hard and if she can? Then that’s what he finds attractive, which I would consider picky as someone who will date someone who isn’t my type let alone attractive

[Asker]

Let me break this down for you. A man who is a 5 in looks will almost never be able to sleep with a woman who is an 8 unless he has status, money or some type of personality she likes. A woman who is a 5 is guaranteed to be able to get a man who is an 8 in bed with her.

[Opinion Owner]

Lmaoooo… yeah I get called a 6 or 7 and yet I don’t have a man in my bed at all. The numbering thing is literally just jokes.

[Pohjolan]

Are you actually doing something about that or just wallflowering?

[Opinion Owner]

@Pohjolan wallflowering? Not sure exactly what that is lol. I’m outgoing, but I’m definitely not jumping at every man I see. I also don’t go sleeping around or do hooks ups… so

[Pohjolan]

Basically it means that you are waiting for men to make a move on you.
Able to; does not mean: will by default.

[AviatorTom]

We guys are not more picky, but we are more visual.

If you've ever gone to any training sessions about making presentations to an audience, you will learn that there are three types of communication: visual, textual and audible.

You will also learn that most women prefer textual and audible communications, while most men are visual.

The example typically used is this... Ask a man and a woman for directions on how to get somewhere. The man will draw a map. The woman will write down a series of instructions and explain, verbally, what they mean.

That's why it's very important to understand your audience when making a presentation.

It's also important to understand why your wife/girlfriend reads books and talks all the time, while we guys watch videos..

[ohsheeT]

They are what ever ,, they want to be

I'm very visual and I'm very ticky. Because I want what l i want there's nothing wrong with that

[LarryWheels]

it comes from the false belief that women care more about personality over looks. When women date less attractive men, many of them love to say that they fell in love with his personality to hide the real reason they are with them (status/money). In addition, many women who were superficial in their youth, often date less attractive guys later in life and claim that they "matured" and care more about personality/person.

In reality, women grade men on 3 main traits:

1. Looks (Face, Height, body proportion, race and muscle mass)

2. Status (Personal accomplishment, popularity/well known you are, family status, job status, country status and race)

3. Money (Actual physical cash, material possession, family wealth)

Each woman will prioritize one or more trait over another and prioritize may change as a woman gets older. In addition, the threshold by which a man needs to pass to be considered datable will vary from women to women.

For example, In high school, a girl might care more about looks and status. However, meet her 10+ years later and she might place more emphasis on money. She might lower on looks and and date a guy that is much less attractive than her ex. In order for the woman to not appear like a gold digger, many will claim they fell in love with the person's personality.

Another example. A girl in her youth, who prioritizes status (popularity) above all else. She might date a guy who is less attractive than her if that guy is well liked/respected among his peers. Think guys who are part of fraternities or guys that are members of a lot of school clubs.

[Anonymous]

What does it take to get a man hard and horny? Seeing his woman naked, that's all.

What does it take to get a woman in the mood? "If you want to get her in the mood, then you'll need to set the stage. Listen, be patient, and go out of your way to show her how much she matters to you. Above all: remember to focus on her! With a little luck, you'll both end up excited to snuggle up and enjoy each other's company."

https://www.wikihow.com/Get-Her-in-the-Mood

Get it now?

[AvaRay]

Men being more visual is about how they process attraction, not about how easy it is to get partners..

Women often have more social leverage, attention, n choice, while men even good looking ones face competition, pressure to initiate, n social filters..

In short, I can say that men see more, women choose more..

Looks don’t equal access, society decides that..

[Asker]

Yeah most of you that are mediocre and average and dont even hit the gym and keep up with grooming like myself and other men still have more choice. Pretty sad if you ask me. I almost dont blame single men out there for not taking dating seriously. Its already tilted out of your favor. Competing with other top 20% men for the "average" woman.. yeah women definitely more picky.

[blackeagle007]

I been dateless for many years because of my appearance. It’s women that are more picky

[AvaRay]

It’s true that attraction n choice operate differently but social dynamics r more complex than looks alone..

Women may be selective, yes, but everyone navigates standards, competition, n perception it’s never purely about appearance..

Respect, confidence, n self awareness matter far more than being top 20% or average..

[Asker]

Men do not care about confidence or respect or self awareness as much as looks. Men are not emotional creatures nor need that to achieve ultimate climax or gratification. We aren't built the same as women. And most men have no standard. Thats the problem. Those guys who dont have standards are the reason why most women rate themselves a 10, feel like they are more attractive than what they are and consequently refuse to date guys on their looks level then cry wolf when Chad or Tyrone or handsome men dont commit to them after a one night stand. Men are almost forced to either compete to reach a standard by nature where as men's low standards have allowed women to just coast and still have a bigger selection then even exceptional men.

[blackeagle007]

I’ve stressed this again and again. We have to stop chasing. The more a woman is chased, the pickier she gets. We gotta make them work for our attention. The message these ladies get is that they don’t have to bring anything to the table. We need to be selective. Not locked in by what we glance

[Zionne]

The idea that men are “more visual” usually refers to initial attraction, men often respond quickly to physical cues. Women, on the other hand, tend to factor in personality, status, and other qualities, so they might appear more selective overall. It’s not about who gets partners faster, but what triggers attraction first.

[Pohjolan]

Dating apps have demonstrated that women are also more visual.

[Asker]

Dating apps says you are wrong

[Anonymous]

When men are talking about women being picky, they're usually referring to pretty young girls in their 20s. They're not referring to the 33 yr old woman ready to settle down. Of course pretty young girls are gonna be picky, they have men ranging from teens to 60s, competing for their attention.

Women dont have higher standards than men. Ask any man if he would date a woman 5 years older or even a woman his age and he would say no 90% of the time.

[blackeagle007]

Women my age are picky

[Asker]

Disagree. Shows like the Tinder swindler etc.. show these older women who have money trying to date the good looking younger guy. Plus dating apps also prove you to be wrong. Who gets swiped on the least. 80% of men are found unattractive?

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker

older women dont' tend to go on dating apps. dating apps are usually flooded with women in their 20s-30s.

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker

look at all the men talking shit about women in their 30s over the internet.

[Opinion Owner]

Then men like you go in shock about how you keep getting rejected or how its so hard to find a woman.
Lower your standards and you will be able to find someone.

[blackeagle007]

Women need to do the same. It goes both ways

[Asker]

Im not single. This is conversation. I didn't have issues getting dates when I was single but I am calling it how I seen it. And you are wrong. Those older women on these documentaries met these guys on apps.

[Asker]

Lastly if women dont lower their standards why should men. Us men make six figures are fit and have careers too ya know. Category of men like myself do exist not just women having their shit together.

[blackeagle007]

lol these guys have sugar mammas. I need to go into that industry and make older women happy 😆🤣🤣😆😆

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker @blackeagle007

if you want to stop being lonely and single, quit complaining about older women online and date them.

if you only want to aim for girls 18-25, all the way until your dick stops working at 60, you will just lead a sad lonely life. Then you gonna come on GAG to shit about how all women have high standards.

Not all women have high standards. Only hot young ones do. Rightfully so

[Opinion Owner]

@blackeagle007

[blackeagle007]

Women 30 and up do go on dating sites. No I don’t chase those 20 year olds. Good grief. What do you care anyway? You’re a female, you have loads of choices. You can get a date as quick as a snap. It’s women in general that are an issue in America

[Anonymous]

it's because men tend to be politically incorrect and unapologetic when they see attractive men whereas women keep their thoughts and actions to themselves until the time is right

women are scientifically more visual than them, all their senses are sharper than men's because men are physically superior thus women need that early detection. women also see more colors than men

don't mistake hoeflation for "unattractive" men pairing off with "attractive" women

[jshm2]

Yeah, you're missing a lot.

DESIRABLE men are not your average joes like you. They can be "visual" or "picky" as they are desirable and have the pick of the litter.

[Asker]

I make 100K, in a relationship and am well above average in looks, these are just questions.. if that still qualifies me as the average Joe then I'll gladly assume that title.

[Asker]

I have slept with my fair share of women who I didn't deem attractive at all but most women wouldn't do that in reverse which is my point. That wasn't me being visual that was me overlooking. Men we tend to overlook more than women physically in my opinion. Which is my point.

[HisBro]

The visual thing is because of adult content and it being consumed by more men than women.

I have no idea why someone would think we're more picky and haven't had any woman tell me that so I can't really say anything about that.

[Fireguy17]

Many, not all men are after certain tings, big boobs, hair color, height, etc.
In turn they may end up with someone who is not a pleasant person to be with because they over look their personality, but she has big boobs!

[Flower7]

They have sex with women of all appearances but as far as actually being in a relationship, men are very very picky about physical things.

[Anonymous]

A cliche question so i will write the cliche answer we all know men are more visual or picky than women if you try to argue that women are more visual or picky than men just because of a few exceptions even crows would laugh at you you are welcome

[Asker]

A women who is a "5" can sleep with a man who is an "8" faster and more often then reverse.. as a matter of fact.. unless that man who is a "5" has money, or is something about his personality.. he won't be able to do the same.

[Chayce]

You’re not quite making sense here. Women are supposed to be the beautiful things. Men are supposed to be rough & rugged.

[Asker]

I am making sense. How can we as men be more picky or visual when its harder for men to get sex and easier for women. That would mean women are more visual and picky then men.

[Chayce]

Women don’t choose men based on how they look. You think Melania is with Trump cause of how he looks? Be for real

[Chayce]

Let me clarify. Looks are still important as a man. Don’t negate your health and looks while chasing other pursuits. DJT is a billionaire but he also looks like a bag of shit and refuses to work out because “the body is a finite battery” or whatever he said. That’s terrible advice. But looks would be the last thing if the man’s personality is amazing. And he’s not inherently psychotic.

[Asker]

I guess let me ask this to better paint a picture of what Im asking... Will a guy who is a 9 sleep with a woman who is a 6? Can a woman who is a 5 get sex from handsome men? It happens on a normal basis.

[Chayce]

If I was consistently rated a 9 I’m probably sleeping with other 9’s. They would be just as easy to get as a 6 so why would I choose the “lesser” option outside of things like settling down. But if I’m a 9 I’m probably a model, so 9’s would be in abundance for me.

[Malwi93]

in my opinion male looks are 5/10 important , reverse i can't speak of as im not a man

[blackeagle007]

Hey Chance, realize Trump is far from being poor right?

[nastyb]

Men aren't supposed to be beautiful things? Sounds like you have no idea what most women want.

[Chayce]

@blackeagle007 I never said he was poor. I clearly acknowledged him being a billionaire, but he’s a billionaire who doesn’t believe in physical exercise. Granted he’s teetotal but still.

[Chayce]

@nastyb looks aren’t what makes women stay with a man. Sure it obviously helps with the initial attraction if he is good looking, but there is no way you’re going to sit here and tell me you’d prefer a good looking man with a terrible personality over an ugly man with an amazing personality long term.

[blackeagle007]

I think women only will be with men that are good looking. I’m living proof because I’m not in top 5% that women only go for.

[Chayce]

@blackeagle007 did you completely miss me saying women don’t care for looks long term. I brought up Trump for a reason. If you’re rich, that beats everything. You can be hideous and rich and have a woman because you offer resources. Being handsome & broke isn’t going to make her stay. But don’t negate your looks, it’s a total package.

[nastyb]

@Chayce

And what makes you think most woman would stay with someone she's not physically attracted to just cus he's a nice guy?

How often do you see young women dating ugly old men 20 years older?

[Chayce]

@nastyb

If you would choose the good looking guy who has no other redeeming qualities over another man who was ugly but rich you would be doing yourself a disservice in the long run. You know it, I know it. Let’s stop playing coy.

Older men dating younger women, as in 9’s and 10’s are rich. They can have whatever pick they want. You really think a 20 year old is going to date a guy that looks like Jon Hamm but is broke? She would be asking what you were doing this whole time.

[nastyb]

@Chayce

Go look around on the street, how often do you see 25 yr olds dating 45 yr olds? Almost never

Take a look at marriage records, how often do you see 22 yr olds marrying 59 yr olds? Maybe 1% of the time.

Continue lying to yourself

Plus just cus someone is ugly, it does not mean they have a good personality

Just cus someone is attractive, it does not mean they have a bad. personality

[Chayce]

Those stats have nothing to do with me talking about choosing someone that’s rich over someone handsome long term. I brought up old rich men dating younger women because they have the money to spend whatever. They can afford to date young women and live the high life that young women want that young men can’t provide. If they were broke and old, they obviously wouldn’t be dating them.

I’m well aware someone can be attractive and nice or ugly & mean. But we’re not talking about an attractive person with a great personality. We’re talking about someone that’s handsome but extremely dull versus someone that’s ugly that will teach you things. That’ll open your mind and engage in deep thought & conversations. Someone with emotional intelligence. Plus let’s make that ugly guy rich for the sake because he is at a disadvantage for being ugly. Now really be honest with yourself on who you would pick long term.

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb yes tiurw a true example of all women. Just wanting the top 5% of guys

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb but just cause someone is attractive doesn’t mean they have a good personality. Thing with lady’s your into looks more than men

[nastyb]

@Chayce

sorry to burst your bubble but most women do not want to marry men that they don't love and aren't physically attracted to just for money.

[blackeagle007]

@nastyb you’re just a lost person

[MJVillarama]

It’s a tricky one! I think “visual” doesn’t always mean picky. more like men might notice looks first, but women often consider more factors. Attraction’s complicated for everyone!

[Curmudgeon]

More visual, yes. More picky, definitely not. Picky is a woman trait, undeniably.

[aceleon]

we are more visually aroused than them not more visual.

[Shehnaz]

Because such people have their own preconceived notions.

[WonderingManII]

To me the woman either looks good or she doesn't. I think being too picky is a good way to cheat yourself out of relationships.

[LiamJHayden]

Key: "sexual partners." Many, many guys, as far a having sex goes, have an "any port in a storm" mentality.

[Anonymous]

Because it's the truth.

I like hot girls, if I can't be with a hot girl, I'd rather stay single.

Yes, it's easier for women to get a date, because not all the women choose based on looks.

[dragoblack]

Because we are way more vocal and honest about what we like. the biggest misconception most women don't realize is, "it's a preference, not a mandatory prerequisite".

[Sal_Monella]

In my humble opinion, women seek perfection. Men gladly settle for good enough. Men are never good enough for women.

[Alex-Snow]

Wow I did not know that. I better start getting more visual

[beefcakebradybatson]

Why wouldn't I be picky with my cover boy good looks and 160+ IQ?

[robocop666]

women swipe left 2X as often as men on tinder. This is a myth.

[Anonymous]

You are missing something, alright.

[Asker]

What is it? This is a discussion forum? If men have smaller sexual access how would they be more selective visually?

[Unycorn]

Women must look nice. Men needn't...

[MikeTheBartender]

Who says that?

[AdamMad]

It is nature, it is genetic.

[MeAndYouRightHere]

Because its what they think

[Anonymous]

Visual