Can guys pick up on the hints that girls are making the first move?

[Anonymous]

Following a guy on instagram, first. DMing him saying random stuff are ones of the ways girls are doing to indicate interest, therefore, they are girls’ first moves. However, people here are saying that guys don’t think those are acts of interest. How true is it? Is it really that they’re clueless or just not interested? I know there’s a possibility for both but which is more likely?

[MrOracle]

Guys do not pick up on "hints." We don't communicate in "hints" and that's not how our minds work at all. We communicate directly, and say what we mean. When we're talking to other men, we don't generally even worry about offending them, because men know that other men are going to be direct with them.

WOMEN speak in "hints" and pick up each other's "hints", but that's not a language men speak, so please get it out of your head that men are going to understand you if you are giving hints. You might as well be speaking an alien language.

Use your words. Be direct. We can handle it.

[BriamG22]

As a guy, I personally wouldn't consider a girl following me and sending me random DMs as a 'first move'. I might consider the possibility that maybe she's interested but I think most guys including myself would just assume you're being nice/friendly.

The content of the DM matters though, are they fully platonic or are there little suggestions thrown in there? Are the a lot of emojis? 🥰😍😊🤗🥺😘. All the cute ones? Haha

Based on what you shared though I'd say he's just clueless.

[Asker]

I said he looked like my celebrity crush (he does ) he didn’t care for it much. He took a long time to respond to each message, and ended up just hearted the last message I sent. I kinda just took it as him not being interested.

[BriamG22]

Ahhh, hmmm yeah, from your description of the interactions it doesn't seem like he's interested unfortunately... The celebrity crush comment is definitely suggestive.

But I'm merely going off the fact that he takes a while to respond. Someone interested would be scrambling to respond immediately and would try to keep the convo going as opposed to just hearting a message...

I'm sorry... doesn't hurt to pursue a bit more though, just don't get too invested where you end up being hurt...

[Asker]

Yeah I figured as much. I just thought maybe I still have some chances. He didn’t know it was my celebrity crush tho, I only said the celeb’s name but overall it doesn’t matter he’s pretty much not interested

[BriamG22]

I hope you'll be able to move on soon if you decide to let it go!

[ohsheeT]

With guys now days who knows anymore. Im old school but I love it when a women approaches me are sends me a text or a message or adds me it's refreshing


As a matter of fact I wish more women whould do that

But I deleted all social media except for snapchat in google chat

[HighValue]

The reason so many guys don't know when a girl is interested is because other girls will do the exact same things/behaviors and not be interested. Women are often unclear about their intentions. Just straight up tell a guy if you like him instead of giving hints that may or may not indicate interest.

[Anonymous]

No. Half of girls complain they can't just be friendly with guys without him thinking she's flirting, and the other half say guys don't pick up on their hits when they are flirting. See the problem here? If women would just be straight forward, it would be a whole lot easier for both sexes.

[Opinion Owner]

And no, DMing him saying random stuff is not a first move. Talking to him and asking him out is a first move.

[Asker]

I don't know tho I just kind of thought, following him on instagram first and DMing him are already a big hint? So it’s not?

[DryGermanGuy]

No. I would have to agree with the blue anon, that's a small hint at best.

[glennos89]

I find it very difficult to know when woman are attracted to me or when they are flirting with me. I wish they would be more obvious or direct

[RHK36]

Women are about as good as flirting as they are with accountability

[Asker]

Ahhhh you mad

[Ariesman81]

What makes you think you're the only one who likes being pursued?

[Asker]

Well I’m not thinking that? So I don't know what you mean there?

[Ariesman81]

We're talking, aren't we?

[Anonymous]

Not always. Some of us are extremely obtuse when it comes to dealing with females.

[Anonymous]

A first move is, "I like you, would you like to go out sometime?", otherwise no, most guys won't see anything else as a first move.

[MasterKS]

does it make any difference?

[Asker]

Yes it does. Cuz if he is not interested im gonna just move along and if he is but doesn’t get the signal, i would pursue it further. But maybe he got it but just isn’t into me? I don't know. that’s why I’m asking which is more likely, in most cases?

[MasterKS]

@asker but one has to step forward so who does makes no difference to me.

[Asker]

Bruh